I really need your advice.
My husband (a fit and healthy 75-year-old) calls himself my 'full time carer'.
However, the only things I need him to do are chores like: shop; cook and clean. The shopping is easy because we live within spittin' distance of a Tesco maga-store and he goes down there everyday (he drives). Cooking is once a day for an evening meal. Cleaning? Well, not as often as I'd do it myself if I could. He loves the garden and spends as much time as he can, gardening. He also goes out for lunch with a mate every 2 weeks.
I'm 62 and have late-onset Cerebellar Ataxia. I can manage everything else for myself apart from the cooking, cleaning and independent shopping mentioned above. I have an adapted bathroom (wet room); a wheelchair with a power pack for outdoors use and assitive computer techology which enables me to work and study from home.
My problem is: my husband is refusing to take me out in the car - I can't get anywhere otherwise. I have been out twice in the past 2 months - to the dentist and the doctor - and hardly at all over the past year.
On the advice of my Neuro Physio Team, I joined a local David Lloyd gym last April and the Physio Team came with me a couple of times to suss out the accessibility of the equipment and to work out a fitness programme for me. That was wonderful for a few weeks, until husband said he didn't want to take me anymore because it was 'imposing on his time'. It's a twice-a-week visit five-minutes drive down the road from where we live!
Although I'm busy with my daily work and studying, I've finally got to the point of not asking him to take me anywhere. He's always been reluctant to take me out for a drive or shopping but this emphatic refusal has made me really angry and wondering whether I should now report him for 'neglect'. Oh dear. That sounds so bad, doesn't it? But that's how desperate I am.
I'm feeling like a prisoner in my own home and there's nobody else around to help us. I've considered talking to my G P (if and when I see her) but I'm wondering if my husband's reluctance to take me out is a symptom of a bigger problem he has with my 'disability' so the G P might be reluctant to help.
As you can probably tell, I'm going around and around in circles here, but would really like to hear your comments and advice.