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Not about lungs just little light reading

azaard profile image
89 Replies

It's a cold clear still night, and i can't sleep. I can hear the the bows of the tree out side straining under the weight of newly fallen snow. Then i hear it slow methodical footsteps and clanking drawing ever closer. I try to ignore it and cuddle deep into the duvet where it's warm cosy and safe, but i can still hear the crunch of those footsteps getting even nearer, then the squeal of the garden gate as it open sends shivers down my spine, scrunch, scrunch, chink scrunch, as the sound now echoes in my head. Then BANG!! as the back goes flying open and the sound of smashing glass makes my heart jump from my chest, then i realise, thank god for that it's Monday, the milkman's tripped over the damn cat again. :P.

hope you liked it ;)

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azaard profile image
azaard
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89 Replies

LOL you had me going, thinking there was more snow coming in.....:o

Nice one! :)

azaard profile image
azaard

Lol ;) i take you can't sleep either?

in reply toazaard

I've had problems sleeping for a while now. You kind of get used to it. What about you?

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Yep same here doc tried sleeping pills, made it even worse, some sort of reaction with other meds, didn,t sleep for for over s week ended up in hospital. I crawling up the walls. Till they figured out what was wrong. So now like you i just keep going till i eventually drop off or a couple of hours

in reply toazaard

Sleeping tablets were useless. I was lucky if I got a full hour sleep. Then I'd be awake but feeling awful. One thing I can tell you, is that relaxation tapes didn't do it for me. The sound of that whale "music" put my nerves on edge. Not quite the desired effect.

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Yeh i can imagine, wouldn't fancy trying to sleep with a whale in my lughole either lol

azaard profile image
azaard

I suppose coming out of work twelve month ago doesn't help, my brains still go into work mode and the rest of me,s saying its had enough, shortness of breath and wheezing gets worse at night as well. I should be used to that by now i,d have thought after nine years of it, well se if the sandmans ready ready for me yet. :)

in reply toazaard

Hope you manage to nod off :)

azaard profile image
azaard

Probably wont ,keep chatting if you want,

in reply toazaard

I can empathize with your breathlessness, but unlike you, I've never had a wheeze.

azaard profile image
azaard

The wheeze is odd though different from during the day when its just constant, ar night. It echoes the rhythm of mr heart. Just like the rest of me nowt works how and when it should,

had to laugh in the docs though on Friday, he had a student in with him, he asked her to take my blood pressure, as usual it high 176/ 95, when she commented on he replied its ik we only worry when howards is normal, that's when something's gone wrong.

in reply toazaard

Oh, boy, it's just as well your sense of humour works. I hurt my back, and the doctor told me it was a mechanical problem. I asked him if he could recommend a garage.... the blank expression on his face made it clear he'd had a sense of humour by-pass.

azaard profile image
azaard

Lmao should have asked for bag bag of. Spanners on prescription lol :D

Up until the end of last summer I worked as a waitress. Once upon a time I used to be known as the pocket rocket, because of the way I'd rush around serving customers. Those same customers would be hard pushed calling me that now. Well, anyhow, one day a gentleman called me over to the table, and pointing to the menu item - Sea Bass - asked me what kind of fish that was that - without thinking, I told him it was a dead one. Don't think he was too chuffed at my response. He never tipped. :(

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

You don't half meet some nuggets in catering, once sent a commis to to the main stores for a bucket of blue steam and he did, came back with a note from the purser saying git no blue will pink do so i dent him back again saying no but yellow will do if you got any, it must have taken him a good jour before he cottoned on por lad :D

in reply toazaard

That's classic!

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Then there's the glass hammer and rubber rivers, that one was my dads favourite. He was a silk spinner, and he must have had every apprentice go for them at dome poi t or other.

in reply toazaard

My hubby was a painter - he'd send new apprentices for tartan paint.

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Oh not the long stand then ;( lol

in reply toazaard

No, if it wasn't the tartan paint, it was the left handed paint brush or a pail of dry water

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

That's where you get your sense of humour from, you obviously read grandad, wait till i get to uncle john the man sense of humour new no bounds. He,s the only person I've ever know that could OD on O2 in the damn hospital and still ask me to out five bob on a three legged donkey, in the 2.30 at aintree, the day

in reply toazaard

sorry, missed this one - never read grandad .... tell all about uncle john

azaard profile image
azaard

I can appreciate that, you sometimes don't stop to think, I've done many times ny self, one instance was in the bay of Biscay on board the southern cross. We,d sailed through school of flying fish of course it went on the menu that night. One passenger asked my if it was fresh, i answered i think its the one that hit you in he face earlier sir which had actually happened,

LMAO.... We had a big sign up stating opening and closing times. Pointing to the sign - Open 9am Closed 9pm - a guy asked "do you close at 9 o'clock?". Now, he hadn't been the only one that day to ask that question. Usually I'd respond "Yes, sir", however, I was tired, we'd been run off our feet all day, so I replied "only when there's a "y" in the day". And I didn't need to be a lip read to realise he was going through the days in the week to find out which day we didn't close at 9pm.... Sadly for me, my boss was standing directly behind me. Oops.

azaard profile image
azaard

Sods law that, got sack once while working on leave,called the head at the sportsman's Tottenham court road. London a stupid jumped up microwave jockey and he heard me

in reply toazaard

Double oops! :)

What really used to get me was the amount of veggies who'd ask if the chips were fried in the same oil as the fish, because they couldn't possibly eat it if it had been anywhere near dead flesh. Why go to a fish restaurant if you don't eat fish?

azaard profile image
azaard

You've seen me mention the gf in here, she not the girlfriend in those terms just a good mate do cos it winds her up, any way she insists she a veggy but luv chicken, cant eat home made chips but goes to the chippy. Der am i missing something here ! Lol

LOL. I know there is a special name for veggies who eat fish, but for the life of me, I doubt if even Google has an name for a veggie who eats chicken. I think it's called carnivore myself.

So I googled veggie who eats chicken - well I'll be blowed....google found one;

urbandictionary.com/define....

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Go on wot they called, need a brew gone all dry chattin lol

in reply toazaard

Pollo-Vegetarian - they don't eat red meat.

And here was me thinking veggies didn't eat anything with a face, just goes to show you, google knows everything.

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Her her her :P new nick name on the horizon me thinks, can i be that cruel, well we,ll see next time a thick ears looming

Well, I've just made myself some premature chicken, scrambled, and toast, and I'm enjoying every mouthful - well, what else is there to do at quarter to four in the morning?

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Erm! That's wot you call a leading question :) Ooops there i go again sorry its just me :D

azaard profile image
azaard in reply toazaard

Ever get the feeling its gonna be one of them days cis when the rest read this little lot me thinks we could get some stick lol

in reply toazaard

Some! I'll be surprised if we're not banned!

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Well if we are its been worth it, I've loved every moment,

in reply toazaard

Me too! I've enjoyed the company.

LOL. My pal told me after I phoned her, I could get a job making heavy breathing phone calls.... that's about all I can do :)

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Lol will tell all about john, but not just now , take to long,

where you from, ? The way you speak / say something's has got me wondering

Where do you think?

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

That's why i m asking, you sound northern in something's then totally different in others if i could her your voice i,d know, get the feeling i,m way out, but you like the. Country side,

I'm a weegie by birth, but I live in turnip town now.

btw you "sound" northern too, but the English northern.... :)

azaard profile image
azaard

Ere so does that make me wurzel gummich lol

in reply toazaard

only if he came from the north of England.

Not that I've anything against English northerners, after all I did marry one...;)

azaard profile image
azaard

Does that make a difference

azaard profile image
azaard in reply toazaard

Woah slow down im on a window phone they ain't that fast at this

in reply toazaard

windows 8 by any chance?

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Yep its all over the place, when doing this,

in reply toazaard

Microsoft lied when they told us that operating system was multi-platformed. Tried it out on the desktop and was ready from throwing it throw a window. Then I had a reality check, and realised I'd be out of puff just picking it up never mind throwing it...

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

I,ll gladly do it for you, its a load of junk, oh sod this you don't look 50's in the photo and i,m guessing over the border

in reply toazaard

LOL. over the border of 50 and England too

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Do you get called hinny

in reply toazaard

No. Hen occasionally, but never hinny

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Geordie perhaps hope so dad was from ill let you guess that one

in reply toazaard

I've a pal from Bradford who uses that term - hinny. I've always thought of a hinny as a donkey.

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Lok Scotts use it as well any way Newcastle or not woman :)

in reply toazaard

Nae lad.... I've left you a message. Look in your in box

in reply to

Someone once asked me where I hailed from, and I told them God's country. Having heard my accent, and with him coming from Edinburgh, he retorted, "don't you mean God's forsaken country".... even I had to laugh at that! :)

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Aye lass a will and have

Only in how you walk.... ;)

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

You been listening to genesis lol

Haven't heard them in a while - that's certainly a blast from the past

azaard profile image
azaard

You like ? It msfrom the track i know wit i like

Yeah, so it was.... the old memory ain't what it used to be!

I'm getting confused. Now it might be my age, but I'm thinking it's more to do with how we're responding to our questions. So, no one else is going to be able to read this AND make any sense of it all. :)

azaard profile image
azaard

Oh that's it is it,well i,ll go t'botton o our sters ard nver a gest ib a month a sundis

What? You mean you couldn't tell? I thought it was so obvious. Perhaps it was the spelling that threw you.

These accents can be dashed tricky to make out over the sound of the keyboards

azaard profile image
azaard

Told i was thick

in reply toazaard

That'll be the gf clouting you all those times - I'm surprised you've not got cauliflower ears by now

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Sorry windows crashed got message yes about 35 mls for both

in reply toazaard

Then, I'll have been in your neck of the woods at some time in my life.

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

I,ve been in yours a few times, neck of the woods that is, delivering beer from micro breweries all over yours and drunk some as well

in reply toazaard

Did you work in the brewing industry too?

azaard profile image
azaard

No help a our when i was home, kept me busy, and reasonably sober :D

in reply toazaard

LOL.

azaard profile image
azaard

Hello you still out there ?

Sorry had to get a refill, all this chatting has left my throat dry.

azaard profile image
azaard

Gonna get one my self, parched lol

azaard profile image
azaard

Jees even the kettles gone on a go slow ms must have been at it lol

azaard profile image
azaard

Hello got a couple of hours, had the dreaded meeting, as usual nowt but moans, the pool tables to noisy and they want bingo on weds as well as Monday and Friday after two hours of i don't like this and i don't like that someone got sensible, brewed up got the bikkies out and put the radio on. Then went home :D so me Brian are having pool night tonight, just for the hell off it. :P. OXO

Never known a meeting where there weren't any moans. Enjoy your game of pool tonight :D

azaard profile image
azaard in reply to

Thought you might be catching some xzzz's

azaard profile image
azaard in reply toazaard

Ere just true to message you and it wont let me any ideas?

in reply toazaard

I've been able to get into messages, no problem. Must be something at your end.

in reply to

Have you tried refreshing the page? Sometimes that can help.

Catch ya later. Got shopping to do. x xx

in reply toazaard

Oh, I managed to get a couple of hours, before the dog demanded attention.

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