where can i go for advice an help. my mum is at the end of this awful illness

[doddy555]

[libby7827]

Hi, I'm so sorry about your mum. The best thing I can suggest is that you ring the British Lung Foundation helpline 10 - 6 Monday to Friday on 03000 030 555. They are there to help and I believe they are fantastic.

If you have any questions or concerns before you can ring them on Monday, just ask your questions of this forum, we are friendly lot and someone will always be able to answer you. We have people here at every stage of the disease and people who, like yourself, have mums and dads with the condition. All the best. Libby

[doddy555]

aww libby thankyou so much, i just in a state, my mum has signed herself out of hospital yesterday after she soiled herself an she was treated so bad, i know she doesnt want to die in hospital, they sent her home 3 years ago with marfine, an said she was at end of illness, my dad looks after her, so well, carers come in 4 times a day, but my dad only lets them wash her, bless him he does fab, i am so concerned at min cos she signed herself out , she looks so gray an sad, an her bottom is hurting her, she keeps sleeping in middle of conversation,coughing like there is something there, i say get it up mum, she says nothing there, i am so worried, do i need to move in with her is it time for her, god i am crying while typing this, soo sorry just feel so alone, xx

[Hidden in reply to doddy555]

I am assuming you're talking about Tameside General? If so she's definitely better off at home, especially if that's what she wants, they are mercyless in that place.

It may be good for you to move in for a while so that you can assist your Dad and emotionally support him and be together as a family at this time.

If her bottom is sore, bedsores or otherwise...while you are waiting for the appropriate equipment you might like to try sudocrem...a massive tub is about £6 and can't be beaten for easing sores.

Other people have covered all the bases re. assistance.

Thinking of you and your family,

Lorraine

xxx

[libby7827]

I feel very sad for you, if your mum just wants to be at home, and I think that's what most of us would want, then she just needs to be made as comfortable as possible. It's impossible for me to say whether she's at the end my love. I do hope someone on this forum with more experience of this situation will get back to you. Have you thought about getting the doctor out to see if there's anything that can be done to help? Or you could phone the NHS Direct, 24 hour service, the number is 111 free from any landline or mobile, 24 hours a day. Libby x

[doddy555]

aww libby thankyou soo much, cant type anymore, i do hope someone with more experience gets back to me,,, but can i say thank you so much you you for replying to me x

[kimmy59]

Hello

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum, I don't know what area your in but do you have a Community Respiratory Team, mine are separate from the doctor and I can call on them if I have a problem, they looked after me at home when I had Pnuemonia. Please don't feel alone we are here to talk to.

Kim xx

[rattles]

Good Morning,

I think i would start by calling out the GP first thing on Monday morning for a check up of how she is doing. You might suggest district nurses pop in daily to monitor her and help. You say she has a sore bottom? are these bed sores? If she is getting/has bed sores? the District nurses can arrange a profile bed with an air mattress for her comfort to be delivered very quickly. Ask the doctor about pain management and comfort care type drugs to help reduce her pain and anxiety if she has any. If she is at the end than have you considered being referred by the gp to palliative care, they will nurse your mum at home or in a hospice and work with you and the whole family?

Wishing you all the best, there is much help out there just start by asking the GP. xxx

[Deb16]

Keep her at home, its where she needs to be, we are in the same position as you with my dad, he collapsed again last week and the ambulance driver wanted to take him back in to hospital , I refused to let him go as I know he gets looked after better at home. If you feel you need to move in then do so, even if its for a couple of days to help settle her in, do whatever you feel you need to! Your poor mum just wants to be home, but get the doctor out too and talk to him about what else she can take to help her. Good luck x

[Hidden]

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum. As already mentioned your GP is essential to have onside as he will be the one prescribing pain relief if needed & who can arrange for suitable equipment such as mattress etc. However as your Mum already has Carers coming in she will already have a 'Case Co-ordinator or Social Worker' assigned to her. You need to identify that person & get in contact with them as they can help with night sitters if needed & support for your Dad.They also liase with the Community Matron/Nurse..so will be of great help to you. It is your Mum's choice to be at home so this will be respected and the help is there if you 'push the right buttons'.

[katieoxo60]

I am sorry to hear of the situation you are coping with with your mother, as stated above you need to contact all the services involved in your mothers care and ask for a reassessment of care needs to make things easier for yourself and father to be able to meet your mothers health needs at home.The social worker who manages the normal care package should be able to get a quick crisis review on the new circumstances. Every best wish and good luck

[katieoxo60]

Sorry I forgot, if carers are coming in they can request a review of your mothers care services too and macmillan can advise in cases of life shortening illnesses like COPD as well as BLF and give you the family more support.

[jandan]

I can't say anymore than that that as been said above except for we are all here for you and BLF help line is just what it says on the box a HELP LINE please call them

Janet

xxx

[doddy555]

thankyou all so so vry much just got home mum, still not good at all, will take on board what you all have said thankyou again xx

[seyre]

My thoughts are with you. Good luck. Susie Q xx