I have just spent ages reading Sweetthings blog and all the replies and quite frankly I don't know wether to laugh or cry. I posted a reply to Sweetthing, agreeing with what she said. I empathise with her 100%. I think some of the replies she has had were not very nice and I see her, in my opinion, justifying herself at many points raised, totally unneccessary.
This is a lady who cares for her husband every minute of every day. We have all read her blogs and know the way in which her husband treats her and maybe this is the only way sweetthing has of venting her frustration and pent up anger. I am quite sure she doesn't have the time to go out seeing friends and looks to us all here as friends for support. Yes, she had a rant. Yes, she had a good old moan. Who doesn't?
So sweetthing has money. Good on her and hubby for working very hard and saving. But should she be penalised by the government? No she blimmin well shouldn't. She could have spent as she earned and claim it all now but she had the temerity and tenacity to plan ahead and she should be applauded for that. Because saving for your future is exactly that. Future. think about the word and what it actually means. yes, sweetthing could spend her savings on a wetroom and stairlift. She could spend it on whatever. But it won't last forever. It will run out and what then? a lady in her early 70's could easily live another 20 plus years. That is a future. That is what the savings are for. Her husband needs a stairlift. That is not a luxury in my eyes but a necessity to have a quality of life for her husband while he is still able enough to use it. How dare we question an ill persons use of such a thing.
My dad wasn't alive long enough to have a stairlift fitted let alone have the 'luxury' of using it. My dad is dead because of a terrible disease that is wrecking so many lives. My mum and dad had the foresight to save a little of what they could for their twighlight years and for what? They scrimped through their lives, saving hard whilst working 3 jobs at times my dad had, so we could have a caravan holiday in Trecco Bay. And we loved it. But you know what? I wish they spent it on themselves, going away and doing their house up and just having a good time together. Because tomorrow may never come. And for one day it didn't, for dad.
Stop arguing amongst yourselves and live. Live for today and enjoy what you can when you can.
Written by
tanyamarie
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Who could argue with that! Well said tanyamarie!!!
TANYAMARIE, I cannot thank you enough for your very kind words, yes I have a rotten life looking after a husband who does nothing for himself at all, I wheel him from one room to another, am at his beck and call every day 24/7.
I do everything for him and like I said, when he goes in hospital everything is paid for by the NHS and I get my life back for a while, if I didn't look after him as well as I do he would spend a lot more time there paid again by the NHS. That is why I think carers should get carers allowance without question, because they are doing the job of hospital staff and keeping hospital beds clear for other people and if we did get it we could pay for things like stairlifts, walk in shower rooms and leave the electric on 24 hours a day, without dipping into our savings, which are there to give us a bit of luxury now and again and it would make life a lot easier as well. I wonder how much it costs to have someone in hospital for 7 days at a time. We the carers are saving the hospitals/NHS a lot of money by doing the things we do and I think we should be rewarded for that.
I appreciate everyones comments on this blog and do not want to upset anyone, I wish I could think the way most of you do on here that I should think myself lucky that I can afford to buy things like stairlifts, but I don't and still don't agree that we should be penalised for ensuring we had saved for our retirement for the past 50 years.
Thank you again TANYAMARIE, I do really thank you for sticking up for me.
Hi, so glad to have read your blogs at last, know where you are coming from as I am in the same position just too much of a coward to put it in writing. We have another situation where we have saved the NHS money but cannot get any other help. Hubby used to have angio oedema attacks (similar to anaphalactic) every time he had an exacerbation, about 3 in a week necessitating paramedics, ambulance, hospital care etc. His physio wondered if it might be food related so we asked our GP if he could be tested and he pooh pooh the idea so we paid to have it done, it came back with an intolerance to cows milk, pineapple and a lack of vitamin B. Changed to soya, buy him a good multi vit and don't eat pineapple and, with fingers and everything else crossed, he hasn't had an attack since last May. We should be proud of ourselves for what we do for no financial consideration. Incidentally did they refuse you the carers allowance as you were receiving your state pension, but they could award you the carers premium which will open up another world for you. Take care
I agree with everthing that has been said by both of you.It's a sad sad country that we live in at the moment, with a very severe lack of concern by the government for financial matters of the elderly in need of care and in particular those who care for them.
Sweetthing I'm just a newbie but I reckon this is a support community and when you feel the need to grumble or rant or moan or scream come and share it with us - part of your support team. Lets face it a walking stick is doing more good when it's leaned on.
Sweetthing, if you ever want a good old rant then bloomin' well do so! If we can help in any way we of course will.
Good on you for saying what you've said.
Mike x
Thoroughly agree with everything said! We are here to support each other,and let of steam, when times are hard.Maybe the ones that criticise,need to remember that silence is golden,if you cant say something nice,then dont say it, easy as that !!
Have a breathe easy day everyone,love Wendells xxx
I'm fully in agreement with all that has been said here. If you can't be supportive & constructive then you shouldn't post here
Best wishes to all
Jo.
I am thinking of you, sweetthing but thoughts can help only to a certain point. I dont know what the answer is to make life easier for you but you have the support of this community. Love Annie x
Well done for coping sweetthing. I am on my own and just muddle along but feel deep down if I had a partner and I was the carer I would run for the hills. I have read all your blogs and admire you so much for sticking with it and also for writing what many carers must be thinking. Never mind you have lion in your corner with tanyamarie.
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x
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