JUst to say HAPPY 70th BIRTHDAY to Jan., Thatcham1939 I hope you have a good day. XXX.
70 today!: JUst to say HAPPY 70th... - Lung Conditions C...
70 today!
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Bastet
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35 Replies
•
Happy birthday Jan, I am 70 in 4 weeks time, my family want to take us out and have a 'do' and invite all our friends and family but my husband says he won't be well enough. We have four weeks to go yet and he says he will be ill. We are now having to leave it until the morning of my birthday in case he feels okay. All the people that were invited cannot make plans as they won't know until the day whether they are going or not., my sons can't book a table in case he is ill on the morning. It is an absolute farce. I have told my sons to forget it, we can't make plans for anything at all, we have to wait until he gets out of bed, it is now 11 am and he is still inn bed so he won't know how he feels until he stands up. Everything is about him, I feel like leaving him at home and just going myself.
hufferpuffer• in reply to
There's nothing I would like better than to come over and ''babysit'' for you sweetthing!!
you are probably far from where I live though, you've got 4 weeks to find a stand-in, good luck and no excuses go out and have some fun!!!! 
xxxxx Carol xxxxx!
KingoftheCocktails• in reply to
Leave him at home.Sometimes you have to be cruel(though I don't think you are) to be kind.A kick up the backside like this sometimes works.I have shared some of your experiences with you and I feel it is time for you tostart thinking about yourself and the rest of your familly and friends for a change..Please make arrangements to go out and enjoy your birthday.
Richardxxx
• in reply to
It's your birthday Sweetthing, not his, so just you go ahead and enjoy yourself. If he doesn't want to go that's up to him. Being left on his own for a few hours won't do him any harm - if he's in bed he'll probably sleep through your excursion anyway. Go for it girl!!
Gidge• in reply to
Hi Sweetthing - I think you really do need to get a babysitter just this once !! I know it is hard to find someone to suit (I'm sure from what you say no-one will suit your OH, even you don't seem to !!) but as long as you know he will be safe, get out there and just relax and enjoy yourself for once. Look forward to seeing what naughtiness you can manage to get up to !!!! Gill
• in reply to
Hi Sweetthing
I have to agree with what others have said, leave him at home to stew in his own juice. You have to put your foot down on this. You need to have your 'me' time.
Please do this. It could be your first step to leaving him on his own more regularly.
Marie x
thatcham1939• in reply to
sweetthing which is the date of your birthday, i often thing of the condition with your husband, it cannot help you.
i loved my brother, we were brought up in childrens homes and i was fostered out to a lesbain foster mother she had never married till she was 69.
my brother and sister were adopted by a couple in st albans andi had to call them cousins no wonder i was confused still am. love jan xxx
Happy Birthday Jan. I hope you have a great day. xx
Happy Birthday Jan.
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAN xxx
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU JAN!!!!!! XXX
Happy Happy Birthday Jan
hope you try and think of your self a bit..i went through this eg..when my son had engagemen party.and other partys all missed .i know how you feel...but try and make it your self
..let every body come and make him get up and out....all the best..and have a happy 70th..xx
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you.....
Thank you for all your comments. My sons have rung and told me to come on my own. My husband says we can't make plans because he may not be well enough to go and he says I am selfish for wanting to go on my own and we have to make the arrangements around him. What the hell am I supposed to do, if I go on my own it will spoil it because I know he will be at home and he will never let me forget it. I remember when it was my 60th Birthday and the day I retired from work we had a big 'do', to celebrate both things. They brought a big cake in with 60 lit candles, everyone sang happy birthday and they put the cake on the table in front of me for me to blow out the candles. I stood up and my husband put both his arms out, pushed me down on the seat and said, this is a man's job and blew out all the candles. You should have seen the faces of everyone there, they could not believe what had happened, my sons were livid and all my husband said, was 'what's the problem she couldn't have blown the candles out.' My sons said we will light them again so I said no. it's too late now he's spoiled it.
He is a wining, controlling, miserable man and I cannot stand him. God I wish I had the guts to walk out, I told him I am ready for going and he said well you won't get the house or any money as it's all in my name. I have my pension but I would have to go on benefits.
He said this afternoon, it's a nice day today can you wash the car, we have an 8 seater mpv, bigger than a dormobile, why he bought it last year paid cash too, I don't know, he won't take it to be washed by the men who do it by hand and it is too big for the proper car wash. We don't have an outside tap for an hosepipe because he wouldn't pay for one plumbing in, so he expects me to carry buckets of water from the kitchen to the front of the house to wash it and the same again to rinse it off, then I have to dry it and wash the wheels with a special wheel cleaner. I told him some naughty words. I am 70 in 4 weeks and he expects me to do all this heavy lifting. I went into the bedroom this morning and he was laying there with his mouth wide open (like someone who had died), and all I could think of was thank god, then he woke up, he didn't come down until 11.30 am, I had to carry everything down, give him his breakfast, then three hours later his dinner.
I am fed up and cannot see an end to it.
maxer• in reply to
You must go and enjoy your party with the rest of your family. Let him stew in his own juice the miserable old bugger.
maxer xx
thatcham1939• in reply to
hi sweething, you go out and enjoy your birthday, your husband sounds like my brother was, have you medical problems.
take the car to the wash in a garagem why should you have to do it, my brother use to boss my sister-in-about, has your husband got emphsema derek had and god was he ratty argumentive, expectes daff to do everything, he had one of those buggy cars only when daff took him out, one day he overstepped the mark, it broke down in the middle of the road and he swore at daff so she left him there and phoned her son with his brother to take him home, daff said the look on his face was like thunder and he asked daff why he left him in the road, he never swore ather again.
i think what happens is we give into people like your husband as daff did, are you able to go shopping without him, worth a try if you havent, i do feel for you.
now how do we get birthdays greetings to people on here.
love janxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
• in reply tothatcham1939
He has COPD and bronchiectasis, he has a very, very, high anxiety level, (panic attacks) so the Matron says, and he is terrified of being left alone so I cannot get out at all. My sons are tearing their hair out, they have suggested sitting with him whilst I go out so that may be my next stop. The house is like a tinder box, he is a hoarder and won't now can't throw anything out and won't let me touch anything, we have three bedrooms and two of them are now full of railway stuff, work clothes he has not worn for 10 years, magazines, if he dies I will have to get 50 skips to clear the house, he has taken over every cupboard, drawer with his records,. tapes and now is too ill to clear them out, I want to get a bin bag and dump the lot but he gets so nasty. Thank you for your thoughfulness.
When I know it is someones birthday I just start a blog with the persons name and say Happy Birthday,,,,,,,,,,
ballroom• in reply to
this man has no respect for the wonderful caring woman you are and wants to see you as miserable as him ,dont let him do that to you sweetheart ..sit him where their are a lot of switches and plug in a microwave and a freezer beside him ..buy a weeks frozen dinners and tell him to make his own dinners in the microwave or starve ..and go out and enjoy yourself ..good luck ..patrick x
Thatcham1939, Let's PARRRRRTEEE!!! Well, if you read this, Jan, let us know how your day went. Hugs. X
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear jan, happy birthday to you
That's what you should sing when washing your hands - properley.
Have a good one, love Lib
Happy birthday Jan! Hope you've had a good day! Put that cake down, NOW!
hi me agail..keep counting to 10 jan.but get your family to book that birthday party.and dont tell him you booked it tell him it.a suprise from your family.make sure you go and if he dosent.his tough luck.if you dont go you will feel worse and have it on yoir mind..GO AND ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY. PARTY...please ....
Sorry evo, but it's Jans birthday today and sweetthing's in 4 weeks time from what I can gather. I don't know if Jan has looked on here today, hopefully she is with her family as planned.
I hope sweetthings gets her day too, at 70, she should do. It's a great benchmark we would all agree. Good luck to her.
A very very happy birthday! I hope you've had a magical day!
Marie x
Thank you all so much for your comments, and I hope Jan had a lovely birthday.
Happy Birthday Jan whatever plans you have/had! and sweetthing - go and enjoy your day with or without his happiness. If he goes out with you and blows out the candles again then shove his face in the cake! What a great picture that would make! He is a silly man but is ill so expects everything to happen with him in mind. Luckily, Pete is not like that and he and my family made my recent 60th brilliant with more to come! Everyone just enjoy each day as much as possible, health permitting of course. Love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hello, I told him this morning that our sons were putting a 'do' on for me and he said well I can't make it for 12 o.clock it's too early. They changed it to 4 pm and he said I can't go it will be dark. I have told him if that is the case then I am going without him as he is just making excuses not to go. I also told him this morning he is a waste of breathing space and I was fed up with him.
sgbr• in reply to
Like every one else says please go to your party and enjoy yourself and just leave him at home a few hours wont hurt him. About time you had some fun and something to look forward to. I totally agree with what sassy59 says esp about the cake lol xxx
Sorry Jan, I missed this post yesterday. Happy belated birthday xxxxx Lin
Thank you, we had a bit of a 'do' today, my sons say to leave him and go on my own, but when you have been married nearly 50 years, it makes you feel disloyal. I can't help how I feel. Anyhow they have put the party back to later in the day so it will give him time to come round and give me time to organise his clothes, shower, oxygen etc. etc. then I can get ready without having to rush about, he is moaning now about it being dark when we go out, I told him that he was making excuses about not going, and if that was all he could come up with, 'it's dark', then I will go on my own. Being awkward, and feeling poorly are two entirely different things and I won't let him spoil it for me. They have bent over backwards to try and make everything straightforward for him, meeting us, putting him in the wheelchair so he hasn't to walk, now he says he wants to walk in, this will end in him having a bad do and spoiling it for everyone there so I told him, if he refuses to get in the wheelchair then I go on my own. The top and bottom of it is that he doesn't want to go. To be honest I don't want him there either as I know he will want to leave early. I will let you know what happens, we have a few weeks to go yet, and knowing him he will make it as awkward as he possibly can.
Thankyou very body for my birthday greetings it was also our 45th wedding anniversary as well and my sons and there wives brought all the food and did everything 19cards all your greetings what more could i want, only that grandson who is two next month has started talking
love jan xx
Hi Jan, you got this post in the end. I'm glad you had a good birthday with your family and a benchmark anniversary too WOW!!. Congratulations to you both.
Now enjoy your 71st year. Take care.
Love sue xx
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