Yesterday I felt great as those of you who read and the ones who replied to my blog "COPD CLINIC" will have seen,it was great,it is great to have a much better lung capacity of 56% after being as low as 30 something% at my worst,far,far better than it getting worse and the results are mainly due to the fact that I quit my 30/40 a day cigarette habit.
Thing is what makes my lungs much better comes at a price,I have piled weight on,all my life I`ve been slim not skinny,but slim now I look 9mths pregnant(on a good day,I say I`m a surrogate mother about to have the baby !!!),but its not funny,it makes me feel pretty depressed alot of the time,my tummy does look like it did when I was fully pregnant with one or other of my daughters only its bigger now,I guess you could say it looks like a guys beer belly, uck!!!,my tummy is the worst,but I have put on weight allover and I hate it,I have spent today and tonight crying most of the time,I`m so peed off with the way I look and having to buy bigger and bigger sized clothes.
My son in law delivered my excersise bike to me today that I bought of a friend,problem is its difficult to use most days because of my breathing or my knees that are caput due to arthritus,Doc(with a smirk on his face says I can`t have knee replacements cos I`m to young(flips sake I`m 60yrs old !!!),he also says they wouldn`t give me knee replacements because I have COPD so wouldn`t be able to have anesthetic,had a anesthetist give us a talk at Breath Easy a couple of months ago and he said there was no reason why I couldn`t have anesthetic,if not that then an epidural, I will get sorted and get my knees done,the fat problem I`m not so sure,I can`t excersise as much as I`ve said,I find dieting very difficult,never had to diet before.
Tomorrow is another day so hopefully I will feel happier.
I know there are alot of people alot worse off than me,but sometimes I just feel and think WHY,WHY me