so down down down

down

[valm]

Hope your ok ?

[jacktar]

what's the problem my friend,c'mon share it,maybe one of us(or more)can help,

Mike.

[dinnyrayner]

Hi Hypercat ,

What's up ??? , there seem to be a few very fed up people on the site at the moment , is it S.A.D or the virus that is going round at the moment (which seems quite an aggressive one ) or is there something else going on in your life making you feel down ??? . I am here if you want a chat xxxx Dinny xxxx

[Hidden]

Waiting to empathise, help, commiserate, etc. xxx

[william777]

please let us know why you feel down you never know someone might have been like you are now and can help and advise you .

[Huffnpuffer]

So sorry to hear you are feeling low.... come and talk to us, love, xxxx

[pollyjj]

Hypercat, a trouble shared is a trouble halved and if you share it with all of us there won't be much left. Have a go you have nothing to loose, I am sure someone on this site can help lift you up.

polly

[Hidden]

I honestly think it is because we are seeing the end of summer, I have just put away all the garden furniture until next year, and moved my patio plants into the conservatory. Also, when your partner has an illness like COPD, we dread the bad weather as it turns us all into hermits, frightened of going out and getting a cold which in turn ends up as pneumonia then back into hospital again.

Keep your chin up and know for certain, you are certainly not the only one on this site that feels the same, whether you have an illness or not.

[serenityfrank]

Hi Hypercat.

Yesterday afternoon & evening I was in "down, down, down" mode. What Winston Churchill used to call "the black dog" settled on me and I was completely enervated and unable to shake it off - didn't have the energy to try even.

It made me feel that nothing was worthwhile - not doing a bit of charity work (emails, phoning etc) which usually helps to keep me going; not watching the TV, most of which I despised; not reading a book as I usually do for escapism, even though I had a really good new one from my wife on our anniversary; especially not doing the PR exercises which I find very tiring and didn't seem to be doing me any good.

If it hadn't been for my wife making my tea for me I wouldn't have bothered eating.

I think there were a couple of reasons for it. One was the letdown after my birthday and our anniversary celebrations - there seemed to be nothing to look forward to.

The other, caused by feeling no better each day despite PR, and my wife commenting on the fact that I wasn't walking any better, worse if anything, was a feeling of the inevitability of the end result of my COPD. That was the "what the hell, nothing matters anyway" feeling.

So I went to bed and had my crying session in private so as not to upset my wife cos she can't take me getting like that.

Today, nothing has changed really. But the mood has lifted a good deal. I made the phone call and chatted with someone nice & helpful and dealt with emails; I read on the blog about people worse off than me today; the sun is shining even though it's too cold for me to go out in it yet; my elder son & his family are coming to lunch - mixed feelings - like to see them but sometimes the adults are quarrelsome. I'll even do the PR exercises, but praps only 2 minutes each exercise instead of 3 - and I'll enjoy that skive!

So yet again I found out that the saying "this too shall pass" was right. I held on by my fingertips through the depression and it ended or at least reduced by a long way. Maybe you'll find the same. I hope so.

So I'll wish you what the idiot TV presenter said a minute or two ago - "Enjoy the rest of your weekend".

Frank

[jackie50 in reply to serenityfrank]

oh my Frank you have just described me at times , all that I normally enjoy seems worthless . I know I am naughty but I even miss meds cause I feel they are not doing me any good, and then find they are cause I feel worse....... Thank you for putting it into words, which I always struggle with . I may use your post to help me explain to work these black dog days, and on those days the thought of talking to people and interacting with them is a no no

so again thank you Frank

Take care and hope black dog moves.

xxx

[serenityfrank in reply to jackie50]

Hi Jackie.

I'm glad I was able to put into words how we both feel sometimes.

I have learned over a period of some years that if I share how I feel, first I feel as if I've dumped at least some of the misery, second someone else might (as you did) come back and say they feel the same way so I'm not alone.

Please feel free to use what I said in any way that is helpful. I'm glad to be of use.

Frank

[sassy59]

Hi Bev, please let us all know what is getting you so down. Please get in touch as there are so many good people waiting to help if they can. Just talking may be of some help to you. Hope to hear from you very soon. sassy59 xxxxxxx Thinking of you.

[amagran]

S.A.D. is a definite illness, and when combined with any other illness can be a weight on your shoulders when seeing the cold and dark weather . Try to keep your spirits up though, think of the cosy evenings with lamplight, wrapping up cosy and warm watching tv or reading. Get books that take you out of yourself, so you lose yourself in the plot. The dr should also be there for you , and remember we are always at the end of a pc, floating in cyberspace waiting to talk to you. I know facebook has a lot of negatives but there are many positives too, like having a family around you when you are alone, the games can keep you amused, I only play scrabble, words with friends, trickwords, but they keep my brain active and stop me thinking of other things, , PM me if you are on, al challenge you. xxx

[jackie50]

Hi Bev, sorry to hear your down , its this time of year we all need something to look forward to, and no I do not mean christmas, something personal for you. How about meeting a friend for coffee/lunch /dinner , set a date so you have something to look forward to, How about a local art exhibition go with a friend , or the local playhouse go with friends. This is what I try and do, so I have something to look forward to and try motivate myself towards

I have just started inviting people round for a coffee, only because it motivates me to do house work just in case they come, deep down I would sooner they not come, but it does give me something to focus on.

Hope you feel better soon and plan a few treats for YOU

Take care

xxx

[amagran in reply to jackie50]

what a great idea jackie, invite people around for a coffee, a nice chat and put the world to rights, and even better with some juicy gossip, afraid I dont have any, gossip that is, but have the coffee. xxx

[Hidden]

Hang in there hypercat. Thoughts are with you. xxx

[sheridan]

i had a lot of counselling a few years ago and part of it is learning to find pleasure in the small things in life ...it sounds silly i know but sometimes helps .....looking at a sunny day ( few and far between ) .,seeing a puuppy or child playing,seeing the sea .....anything

[Hidden]

One of the most important things when feeling down is to stop, take stock of all that you have in life. Don't focus on what you have not, but on what you have.

Its important to eat for the mood lift, if your answer is I am too depressed to it, phone in your favourite food or go get your favourite take away. Not neglecting your diet can go a long way to helping you avoid down times. Take time to look after yourself and do something each day that your really enjoy.

To check in with your doctor if these down moods are with you often. If its SAD you are experiencing, the light therapy may help, ask your doctor about this.

[Hidden]

Aww duck sorry your mood is really low at the moment.

Its a lovely day today but if you carnt get out I would open the windows etc.

I dont know you yet but here if you want a chat ....lol

[Hidden]

Thank you for your replies. Its not SAD. Ive been feeling really down for about 2 weeks ago which is a record for me. I really feel I don't have anything to look forward to and I'm so lonely. Don't want to spend rest of life alone. Will be alone at Christmas coz my sister's made it clear a few times that she doesn't want me with her family. Texted my nephew on his birthday - no reply - again.

It just seems one endless day after another with no purpose, little enjoyment. And everyone else busy busy busy with kids and grandkids and work and Ive got no one and nothing. Just a meaningless life with nothing.

Went on mega walk with dog yesterday trying to shake off this mood and it didn't help at all. Went to bingo last week with friend - didnt help at all. Did feel better with company. Then I come home alone.......

The temporary landlord of my local got very nasty with me about 10 days ago. A 'friend' turned on me and the landlord chose to believe her. When someone backed me up he changed his mind but has not apologised. Someone else who doesn't like me.....How can people be so nasty? I'm never nasty with anyone - its not in my nature. I will stand up for myself, i'm no doormat but I never treat people like s....

I don't want to need people and wish I could be an island but thats not my nature. I just want to laugh and enjoy life and not be on my own so much with no one special in my life. There never can be I don't think.

I came in here to delete my blog hoping no one had seen it.......sigh.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Hypercat are you in touch with your local breathe easy group? They meet once a month as you may know and occasional BE members meet outside of the BE meetings also. Every year we have Christmas Lunch Celebrations and those who are spending Christmas alone may want to exchange a share some time with each other. The local Church often has meals for people on their own too and coffee mornings, you might not be religious but it will get you out of the house, meeting with others for a cuppa and a chat. Do call BLF helpline for further help and support at this time. Take good care of you and spoil yourself a little. Big Hugs Zoee x

[Hidden]

Hi Hypercat

ah, being down is awful. Feeling similar at the moment as my daughter and her hubbie are on holiday and am on my tod. Often feel lonely, even though living with them as I spend a lot of time alone and don't have that special partner either.

So, my plan to make me feel less lost is to eat some treats, ring some pals who are many miles away, not let myself cry as it builds up the mucus, watch some TV and have other background noise from radio, stroke cats, watch the birds, and tomorrow when I hope to be feeling a little better, potter slowly around the garden (am too SOB if I go walking), over next few days make sure I go out even if only to put petrol in car, come on this blog, clean the kitchen while listening to a radio play, eat bananas (good for lifting mood), watch some funny stuff on TV, maybe read a good book, sort my clothes.

Felt this way so often in last dozen years and, as most people, I would love companionship of a partner. Now think perhaps I never will, yet I know someone who met and married love of her life at 72 ! so maybe there is hope and we need to get out and meet people.

I know it's been hard for people to be around me when I am down and not good company. It is a vicious circle. so maybe ask your sister to go out with you doing something that will bring you smiles and that you can happily share...new memories do bring people closer - I found that when I began to spend more time with my brother and saw him every few weeks while I lived in London.

The other thing I make myself do is to count my blessings during the day and at end of each day write down 3 things I am grateful for. Tonight that may be that I am grateful that my daughter and my son are both happily married, that I managed to find my favourite belgian waffles today, that the robin just now came so very close to me... anything that helps me feel that there are things I can celebrate. I know when I am much better as I want to keep on witing the grateful list

The other thing I force myself to do is to stop the negative talk in my head and instead either argue with myself as I put the positive, or I do something like absorb myself in the plot of a TV programme, do a crossword, anything to occupy my mind.

Sometimes I then feel that I am so lucky compared to so many others and that for example I am not facing losing a murdered grandchild like that poor family in Wales, that I am not desperately worried about my brother as I was when he nearly died a few years ago, that I am not suffering like a pal's sister whose quality of life is nil, not being able to speak or eat or remember. Then I feel guilty for feeling down when I have so much more. !!!

Yes, my life like yours could be much better and we can still do some things to make it better than it is.... and you never know what may happen when we engage with life and people more.

Hoping you are feeling better soon. Chin up and try to frown .... it's hard. Head down and try to smile .... it's hard to do. So I wish you chin up x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Don't have kids Julie. Live completely on own. I dont frown I just do nothing. Went out today to pub as its better than staying alone. Had to put happy face on - very hard. Glad to get home.

[puppylover]

Hi Hypercat,

I am a friend of yours, and have joined this blog today, as you advised me to, some time ago. I am dismayed to find you feeling so low, and I am wondering if there is anything I can do or say to cheer you up. Would you like to come for a visit for a few days? Maybe a change of scenery might make you feel better. You probably know more people and have more friends than most people I know. Surely they are not all too busy to spend some time with you. Try joining a club or doing some charity work. It is surprising how many new people you are likely to meet. I joined a little art group which led to joining another art group and a disability group - all of which go out on day trips, to the theatre, have fund raising days and Christmas fairs. I hope you are feeling better soon. Your friend in the Cotswolds.

[Hidden]

Aww thank you puppylover thats lovely. Just twigged who you are lolx Not good company at moment but will come again soon if you can put up with me! Glad you joined site there are some great people here like I told you. Thank you friend in the Cotswolds from your friend in Torquay xx

PS Been going bingo with Vi and saw Dave V - he getting 2 friendly again OMG! Went dog walking with Shaz earlier. I then come home and feel very down again....sigh. And I think cat poorly - he weeing all over shop might be vets jobbie tomorrow.

Bev xx