I have been remiss lately in not posting but here is a welcome story of two weeks ago. I was on the ward for the elderly when I observed a senior nurse collecting signatures from staff members to put on an anniversary card for a lady patient about to celebrate her 60th wedding anniversary. This particular nurse (Penny) is responsible for coordinating activities, especially as regards the patients’ wellbeing. She will arrange for the display of family photographs around the bedside, and she, like me, has invested in a Bluetooth speaker, and so can play requested tunes at bedside. She is also very good with patients, spending time with them combing or washing their hair or perhaps filing their fingernails. Also taking time to discover their interests and needs. This patient was well into her eighties and at the time I was there was returning from the toilet accompanied by her elderly husband, both a little jittery on their feet. The nurse suggested I should come and visit the lady in order to play some music to them both, on account of their up-and-coming anniversary. A colleague with me suggested “The Anniversary Waltz” and I found a version sung by Vera Lynn on my Spotify playlist.
As I approached the bed, I could see the lady sitting on the edge of her bed, ready to have her feet lifted to enter the bed, with her husband hovering over her to help. He was a tall and thin man whereas his wife was short and quite rotund. Penny, the nurse, was standing by to help.
Without introducing myself or my working colleague Lucy, I began to play the Anniversary Waltz on the speaker as the woman was still sitting on the edge of her bed. You could tell by their eyes that both husband and wife recognised the tune! The husband looked into his wife’s eyes and put his arms on hers, gesturing to his wife to stand up and join him to dance. He was whispering the lyrics as they held each other and began to shuffle together on the spot with Penny the nurse, extending her arms around them both to keep them stable! Both husband and wife had tears in their eyes as the song played out. It really touched the heart seeing them recognising the moment and their continuing love for each other, celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary.
It's very often, on experiencing such lovely moments like this, that I decide to make that my last patient visit for the day – on a high if you like. It was in any case near the end of my shift. Looking back on things, over the last eight years of my volunteering, it seems that I’m often in the right place at the right time. Is that just coincidence or is it serendipity? Either way, it’s as if there has been a blessing of some kind!
PS. Donald - I hope you enjoyed that!
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Written by
Greenthorn
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Honestly Helen, there are stories to tell every Monday morning, but in the first place I need to take bedside notes in order to remember as my memory just evaporates. And then on the next day I have to make sense of hurried notes and embroider into a story! But I will try and be more regular. 👍
Aw how beautiful.What a moment to share, all those memories the two of them will have and love for each other, so sad it’s spent in hospital but nice that it’s been made special for them. Well done to you all. You play a very important role so hats off to you.
Many thanks Wendy. I think my aim is always to make an encounter "a bit special". Often that might be just sharing time, or just greeting people. I find Many patients so interesting - a whole library of stories.
Very moving indeed and Penny sounds an absolute gem , some people are just gifted with the elderly and others needing care. Creating a new memory even if only for a few moments 😇
Very much creating memories. I've been taught that in many cases, the details of a meeting may fade from memory yet there is a kind of after-glow. A patient may just feel better without remembering why!
That was a real tearjerker David, thank you. I can’t imagine what our wedding anniversary would have been like a couple of weeks back if my wife had survived. We were married 1955, I can’t even count high now.
Sorry Donald - I didn't mean to imply you'd be celebrating in any special way. More that its quite an achievement for you to be able to say "this IS the 70th year" or "this would be" etc. You must have some wonderful memories!
Such a beautiful and an Emotional story for everyone who witnessed it. My wife used to work in a Dementia care home. And very often told me of residents who have been suffering with their memory for years but there was times when a song was played, and they used to sing every word of the song. Brian
Thanks Brian, it's always a tear-jerker for me when I see the lyrics of a song slowly emerge on a patients lips! Music can work as a great time traveller!
Oh David that certainly brought tears to my eyes. Lovely story. So pleased you will share more often. Carry on the good work The hospital is so fortunate to have you and Lucy 😊
At 77 years of age Ern, I just want to create a special moment, especially with music. I like to be creative and spontaneous; it makes it more exciting. I've now clocked eight years volunteering. I started shy and not confident but now I just go for it. Sometimes I liken myself to a cross between Stan Laurel and Danny Kaye - entertainment wise. Life is too short to play safe!
You are correct David, life is short to play safe, that really is not possible, I am a little older than you. If we create then it is sponatious , you can't plan that. Iteresting duo you model yourself on "Stan Laurel" will always be half a comady act with 'Oliver Hardy'loved them as a child. "Danny Kaye " Straight to my mind was "Don't Knock on Wood" - I never thought I would hear these names again. You have an excellent attitude David.
what a beautiful story, and it does seem serendipitous that you’re in the right place at the right time so often. Thank you for what you do, and for sharing these stories with us.
Hi Greenthorn, what a lovely tale, thank you for sharing this. I think you were in the right place when needed, but I also think that whenever you went to a ward you would find someone whose day you could make a whole lot brighter. 😊❤️❤️xxx
Thanks Nula. I see as many as 12 to 25 patients on a shift of two and a half to three hours. So I can almost guarantee there's at least one golden moment. It can be the diversity of behaviours and personalities that makes the good memories even better!
Definitely serendipity. You must have been there at the right time many , many times in your years of volunteering bringing joy both to the recipients and yourself 😊I believe every experience happens for a reason , both good and bad . The good to enjoy and the bad to learn from and grow stronger in spirit . x
Thanks Val - I've just been reading one of your posts: the one between two babies on the question of life after delivery! Mind blowing really! As for volunteering with the elderly and dementia, it's very much about just being there, as long as one shows your face and says hi, that's often enough. I sometimes feel that the more I give of myself the more expansive I become! I guess that's an odd thing to say but when one completely loses self consciousness, then I become something else, free spirited, wanting to share the moment with others - reaching out to sit or stand with another. Thanks for replying. And stay in touch with us all please.
I will definitely stay in touch David , I had so much support and made so many friends here during Geoffs illness I would find it impossible to leave altogether. I know exactly what you mean about working with the elderly and dementia , I was the Activity Coordinator at a residential home between 2004 and 2018 when I retired and I loved every minute of it . I’m not by nature a happy clappy sort of person rather I used to be quite reserved and self conscious but I found I would do anything for my lovely residents They were mostly like mums and dads to me , with the odd exception who could be quite challenging, but even them I learned to handle and felt a tremendous sense of achievement when I established a relationship. What you are doing is so commendable but I know how much satisfaction it must give you too 😊x
Thanks Val. I'm on duty tomorrow mng. Let's see what's in store. Sometimes, one or both of the elderly wards are closed because of xovid. Then we are directed to a floor below which has younger patients, and some with cancer. It is quite another dynamic on that ward. I hope to post something this week.
Moments like that are irreplaceable, unique and heartening. What a wonderful contribution you made to that couple's happiness! Allow yourself to feel very proud of yourself! XXX
Thanks BB. This was only the first time I had played music without chatting to the patient or family. I left that to Penny the nurse. All I did was to play The Anniversary Waltz on my Bluetooth speaker. No words needed to be said. I guess that couple were transported to another place well outside the hospital on hearing Vera Lynne singing it.
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Thank you you for brightening my morning. xxx❤️
