My lovely mum is nearing the end of her life after bing diagnosed with COPD years ago. Of late she has struggled to eat without becoming breathless. She is a very petite lady who cannot afford to loose any more weight.
Has anyone found a palatable (being the operative word!), nutritious supplement that is easy to consume? Mum eats a high protein pudding but is now finding that she cannot finish the tub without getting out of breath.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Dear Unicorn8, I can't help with your enquiry however, I want to say I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, you must be distraught having to watch her struggle and knowing the outcome 😪. I'm thinking about you and sending hugs ❤. Take care. June xx
I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Given that your mum is already on a high protein pudding she should be under the care of a dietician. Perhaps having a word with them could help. Over the last three or so years I have been given various products which have helped me. Obviously my problem is different from your mum's but there are a number of different feeding methods and products which could help. Sadly it very much depends on your Mum's wishes as some of the feeding tubes etc can be invasive.
Badbessie,
I think the NHS dieticians has given up on mum! Everything they recommended was unpalatable to mum.
As the saying goes, if an animal was in the distress and discomfort mum is in, they would hopefully have an owner who would have them euthanised.
I have not broached the subject of other methods of receiving nutrition but knowing mum she will not want to go down that avenue.
Thank you for your reply.
So sorry to hear about your mum and it must be difficult for you living so far away. I hope you both get lots of support. Xx
sassy59,
It is so hard mentally for me. I know mum would like me to be there even though she will not hear of me booking a flight (I was with her for 3.5 months last year). Airfares are still so expensive as capacity is not up to pre-COVID levels, from Australia to the UK.
Mum has friends that pop in daily and carers three times a day but still not the same as having family around. Ironically I do have a sister who lives about 10 minutes from mum but she only goes to see mum once a week for about 15 minutes. If it was me in that position I would be going to see mum every day for hours at a time.
I can understand how it must be affecting you and it’s a shame your sister isn’t more supportive. Your dear mum is being well cared for and I’m sure she knows you’d be there if you could. You can only do your best. Sending hugs to you. Xxx🤗❤️
I kknow how difficult this is being so far away, my own husband is almost to the end s tages. I have lost all my family, but we all only get one chance in this life, and regardless all i want to say is, you will never get another chance to say a proper goodbye to her, 24 hour flight will be nothing compared to this, take it from me. I wish your Mum the best, its an awful end to a very distressing and lengthy illness, we all have to die but this isnt a way i would choose if I could choose.
Are you able to speak with her via something like zoom or skype as you live so far away? Even if it is brief, I feel for you, and understand your desire to help your mum. The most important thing at this stage is that she is as comfortable as possible and cared for. It is good that she has carers and friends nearby.
It often happens that near the end of life people eat less. Small and as frequently as she can manage is best. Soup can be easy to swallow. How good that you were able to spend time with her last year.
The only person that can answer this your mum. Trying to get her to eat something she doesn't fancy would be cruel and sticking tubes in her unthinkable. l had to face this problem with my mum when she was 94 and I had to accept that she had had enough and wanted to go. She couldn't bring herself to say that, but stopped eating and faded away. Now I'm 92 and am convinced I was right. I've benefited from new medication and the help of people on this group which mum never had, but during bad times I can understand how mum must have felt. Living far away as you do make it especially difficult for you and were there's life there's always hope. But as always, 'mum knows best'. Don xx
Hi Don,
I cannot imagine that mum will allow invasive feeding methods. She has tried numerous powders, shakes, drinks that the dieticians have recommended & non have found favour with mum apart from the chocolate puddings she has been able to consume until now.
Mum is a stalwart & I very much admire her tenacity but I do know she is ready to give up the fight. Her quality of life is almost non existent.
I am glad Don said this as I was just thinking exactly the same but was hesitant to broach this as I didn't want to upset you.
I agree with him entirely as I went through this with my own parents. My mum went at 90 and while her spirit was still strong her body just gave up on her.
My dad went at 89 and his spirit had left him a good 9 months earlier and he stopped eating and completely lost any will to live.
I came to the same conclusions as Don ie they both knew it was their time and their lives had been winding down for some time towards the inevitable.
It is natural and just part of life even though our instincts are to delay it as long as possible and do everything we can to avoid it.
At that age/illness they had the right to decide enough was enough and their loved ones have no choice but to respect their wishes.
It's very hard to face I know but that's just the way it is I'm afraid. I do wish you all the best though.
Donald you’re a lovely man! Chris Xx
I agree absolutely Don and am very glad you replied saying this. I didn't understand until I saw my parents going through the perils of old age and the inevitable slowing down towards the end which awaits us all.
I came to the same conclusions as you in the end. It was their lives and they had the right to decide when it was their time.
As you know Don I am only a spring chicken compared to you but 😁 but am starting to understand this from a personal aspect too.
Love you 🤗💗💗 xx
Hi I can emphasise with you as my mum (no lung disease though) went exactly the same way in her 80's. She was also very petite but kept losing weight.
When we investigated further she always said she wasn't hungry or thirsty and struggled to eat. She had gradually cut out most foods and barely ate.
We got her on a food supplement called Ensure. This has all the vitamins. It is a drink which she could leave next to her all day and just sip from. It did help. She got it on prescription too, though I don't know whether they would still do this.
Another thing is she developed a sweet tooth in her old age and found food items such as biscuits and chocolate were more easily tolerated. So on the principle something is better than nothing we bought her chocolate - she loved those giant chocolate buttons and kit kats.
I hope this helps a bit. Its such a worry isn't it.
I wish you both the best. xx
Hello hypercat54,
Mum has an incredibly sweet tooth but has unfortunately exhausted the chocolate, biscuits avenue etc as she finds it almost impossible to eat anything at the moment. She has tried the Ensure drinks & hated them along with a number of other things recommended by the dieticians.
I know that if I was there with her I would be badgering her to eat just a little bit often. I'd certainly be making bone broth based soups high in protein.
Feeling hopeless on the other side of the world.
Since my illness earlier this year I have had home visits from dieticians who have tried various soups, milkshakes and other supplimentary things. Most are horrible but with the persistance of the dietitians we have finally settled on a milkshake which I like and some very small 'shots' of a high concentrate protein. It is only 2 mouthfulls and I can manage that. I have finally begun to put on a little weight. For years I have been nagged to 'eat more' and 'put on weight' yet nobody ever did anything about it. Insist that your Mum's GP refer her to the dieticians. They are very kind and have lots of things that they can try. She is entitled to it so insist
Hello Littlepom,
Mum seems to have tried everything know to the dieticians & has only had success with a high protein chocolate pudding.
Please, if you don't mind, could you let me know the name of the milkshake and the high concentrate protein shot. Thank you.
Mum's GP is doing a welfare check next week & I know mum is going to tell him about her increasing difficulty eating virtually anything.
Aymes complete choc milkshake.Calogen extra shots by nutricia which are only 2 mouthfulls.
I feel for you, it must be so hard being so far away.
My mum had Motor Neurone Disease, but before she was fed through a peg (directly into her stomach), the one fortified drink she could put up with was Ensure.
What Don said about his mum having had enough, rang very true with me. I almost had to give my mum permission not to fight anymore. Not the same as giving up on her by the way.
Sending lots of love, I know its hard xx
leo60,
Thank you for your reply. Mum & I have had conversations about her passing and up until now I don't think she was ready to go but over the last few weeks our daily conversations have changed and I do think that there is a shift in her mindset. Hard to talk about such things over the telephone!
I am hoping to get back to the UK shortly after Christmas.
Hi so sorry about your mums struggles with eating. I am very thin with lung problems and live in UK. My specialist referred me to a dietitian who asked the GP to prescribe protein drinks that help with healthy weight gain. I haven't had them yet but was told they are just drinks you make up each morning and can sip throughout the day. They sound ideal for your mum. Hopefully her GP will prescribe them for her. Take care xxx
Hi Nula2, that sounds different from the drinks she has had as they were ready made in cartons. I will make enquiries about the ones that you have mentioned. Thank you.
Hi again Unicorn, the pharmacy brought the drinks round yesterday pm for me. They are in little cartons already made up and must be consumed within 4 hours (unless you put them in the fridge). The dietitian said they need making up each morning and I could sip them all day. These are called Altrajuce and are apple flavoured. Think they've possibly sent the wrong ones. Will phone GP on Monday and will let you know if there is an alternative. 🙂
Having been a Care Manager in the past I recall that the most palatable were the fruit drinks and the chocolate flavoured 'puddings'. I believe brand names were Fortisip and Ensure.Is your mum getting palliative care from the NHS I wonder, they should be on hand.
I'm so sorry about your mum and especially for you being so far away. I know how hard it must be, at 83 my mum was only 3 hours away but at least I was able to relieve my 2 sisters at the weekends for a few weeks . It was hard. Mum didn't have copd or the eating issues though. My heart goes out to you 💔 ❤
peege,
It is incredibly hard living so far away. I was with mum for 3.5 months last year as she was only given weeks to live then but thankfully she rallied. I am planning on making the trip home just after Christmas.
Mum has the chocolate puddings and really likes them but cannot even finish a tub now without becoming breathless.
I have very recently lost my father and prior to him dying he tried all the protein drinks and hated them! He was advised to add cream to desserts and have full fat milk and so on. He also enjoyed chocolate and biscuits and was encouraged to eat as much as he wanted.
Is your mum under a palliative care team? She really should be and they will help her with different high fat/protein items.
I know how difficult it can be when a loved one is so far away. Although I was in same country as my dad. Nevertheless it isn’t easy.
Hi Bevvy,
Mum has tried all of the things the dietician and community nurses have suggested and dislikes all of them apart from the chocolate protein puddings which until now have been really useful. However she cannot eat a tub now without becoming breathless & gives up.
Mum until recently was eating small amounts of the full fat cream in deserts like chocolate eclairs, cream cakes etc but now cannot manage to eat them.
She has a palliative carers but so far they have not been able to come up with anything unfortunately.
When I have struggled to eat I have made my own milk shakes using a nutra bullet for ease. My favourite is milk, banana and honey. It’s relatively easy to drink but full of vitamins. Of course you can use any fruit that she likes. Because she has carers going in they could make them for her……
Just to say,thinking of u and mum.I'd approach gp with a list of mums requirements - prescription supplements: dietician: palliative care x
I also struggle with my weight 6st 2. I can not eat anything that requires a lot of chewing as this uses up to much energy which in turn makes me very breathless. I have 3 Fortisip fruit juices a day on prescription . I eat Fish, Eggs , plenty of soft cheese, yogurts ice cream soft fruits soft chocolates, baked potatoes with plenty of butter maybe with cheese or baked beans. Rice pudding, custard, tinned fruit. Mashed potatoes, jacket potatoes. Shepherds pie. Omelettes again with cheese. Tinned soup to which a put a large spoon of butter on top. The fruit juices are quite nice to drink if they have been in the fridge for a while. I ask for assorted flavours of which there are about 6 .
Hello clematis5932,
Mum is under 5 stone & until recently has been able to eat all of the things you have mentioned. She has also has a very sweet tooth so deserts with cream in were great. However she is now unable to eat more than a couple of mouthfuls of anything before becoming breathless. By the time she is able to breathe 'normally' the food has gone cold.
I seem to recall her saying something about the Fortisip juices but I will mentions them again when I make my daily telephone call. Thank you.
Can I just apologise to you Unicorn8 I did not read your post correctly its only now that I realise that your mom is as poorly as she is. I do now realise that she would not be able to eat all of which I listed. You sound such a loving and caring daughter. Take care both of you.
My heart goes out to you & your lovely Mum! Just a thought, perhaps if she had the very small pots of chocolate pudding/ yoghurts etc like the children have, she would find this less overwhelming than trying to finish the normal size pots & might feel less demoralised that she had failed to finish! Is it possible you could ask your Sister to step up her visits in the knowledge that after Christmas you will be over so it would only be short-term & would make such a difference to your peace of mind? Hoping so much your Mum picks up and it's wonderful you were able to spend precious time with her previously... You sound like a wonderfully caring daughter & she will know & appreciate this. You don't always need to be physically present to 'be there' for someone & remember you need to look after your own emotional wellbeing too.... prayers for you both... 🙏
I can only add sympathy and love to you and your mum. xxx
Good morning to you all i have got copd tracky in kneck on a ebuliser / bad asma bronical problems & newmoaner in ill to found out about health 2013 i have reg check up with my doctors get fed up with medication at time breathing rough on morning i use my asma fliut to do reading 200 most morning i been given excerises to to do as well at home / now i joined our local gym light excerises there but i caneat small meals cut up small easer to swllow for me / i keep my weight steady at 127 half stone i dont now how i do this very bad mood swing as well most morning {i wish you family all the best from ghoust rider}
that should be 12& half stone
Hi, Sorry to hear about your news. I can`t remember the name but most chemists will have a liquid high energy drink for invalids. Both my daughter and grandson lived on this for firts week after serious operations on their jaws. Jaws were wired together with space left for a straw. High in calories and taste is bland but OK. Fresubin is the name. I`m in France so a different brand name might be on the cards back home in Yorkshire. Forgetting that you are down under and anything you drink will probably run out of your mouth, it is perhaps as well that your mum is the right way up. Try this link redcare-pharmacie.fr/nutrit... Take care, Chris.
Hi Unicorn8I'm sorry to hear about your mum, could she eat smaller amounts, but several times a day, instead of a bigger meal, less tines a day, maybe worth a try.
Good luck
Trish x
Hi Unicorn8I'm sorry to hear about your mum, could she eat smaller amounts, but several times a day, instead of a bigger meal, less tines a day, maybe worth a try.
Good luck
Trish x
I'm thinking off you both at this very difficult time
Hi Unicorn, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this with your Mum? I went through this with my Mum. The one thing she did love was a banana milkshake made with Guernsey full cream milk. I made these for her until she went into the hospice and by then she had completely given up eating. I went along with what she wanted at every stage and would never have allowed her to be force fed with tubes and the like. Its a stressful time for you being so far away but we do what we have to. I told my boss that I was taking time of to look after Mum and if my job wasnt there when I got back then so be it, I was ready to walk away but they shocked me paying full wages and only asked me to work when and if I could, it makes all the difference. I do hope you manage to get some time to say goodbye to your Mum, I was lucky that i could talk to her and tell her how much i loved her every day until she went. My heart goes out to anybody going through this and really do believe that we should have a better way of dealing with end of life care x
Hi Unicorn,
I am sorry to read that your Mum is nearing the end of her life and is receiving palliative care. It’s a tough place for you all to be, it must be hard to watch your Mum declining. You must feel so helpless being all those miles away ?
My feeling is that she is unlikely to gain weight at this stage, whatever she eats or doesn’t - sadly it is part of the dying process. I wonder is it possible for you to just ensure that she is well cared for, comfortable, pain free and as least distressed as is possible for her be. Eating and drinking as much or as little as she wants to.
Great that her GP is going to see her this coming week. The practice will be fully in the picture.
Enjoy what times you can with your Mum and go well.
Pauline
Hi when I had problems not eating. I just couldn’t because I had a blockage. All I could do was drink so I got my Husband to put soup through a sieve. I know it’s a different type of problem but you never know it may work.
I knew a man who gave his mother ENSURE.
I knew a man who gave his mother ENSURE.
I apologise if somebody has already suggested this one or your mum has already tried it. I sometimes have a milkshake high protein drink called ‘The original nourishment’. It is in a tin, a few flavours and gives lots of vits/minerals & calories even in 100g. I get mine from the supermarket and I find it quite nice
I'm so plsd Yr making trip to see mum.it must b awful being so far away whn she's struggling.just a thought - if she doesn't already have it,u can ask gp to organise urgent palliative care.perhaps ask for respite care too,til u get here. Xxx
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