struggling: for the past few I've... - Lung Conditions C...

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struggling

113 Replies

for the past few I've been struggling more than normal not with the pain but with trust and emotionally. The past couple of days I've been having really bad thoughts. All that keeps going through my mind is the oncologist telling me to enjoy every moment of my birthday it may be the last I have. . It kinda eats away at you even if he was being honest .. so today I made five of these for my friends to enjoy tomorrow.

113 Replies
sassy59 profile image
sassy59

It’s understandable you should be having lots of different thoughts and emotions whirling around in your head. 😕

That cake looks brilliant Dave……five of them! My you have been a busy baker. A good distraction I would imagine. Happy birthday tomorrow then? 💕

Love and hugs to you,

Carole xxxx🍰🎂❤️

in reply to sassy59

Thank you and yes I needed to focus hard to get out of the state I'm in which is extremely difficult , I made a cake for each of my friends all exactly the same so no arguing 😹😹 xxx

sassy59 profile image
sassy59 in reply to

💕💜💕👍🤩

in reply to sassy59

👍🏼🥰

helenlw7 profile image
helenlw7

I know drs have to be honest with their diagnosis, but to say enjoy your birthday, it may be your last, is a bit harsh in my opinion. I can fully understand why it’s always there at the back of your mind. My circumstances are completely different to yours but in 2004 when I got my rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis, my consultant told me that the disease was life shortening, I’d have to give up my teaching job in my 50s and I’d be in a wheelchair by the time I was 60! So I’ve priced him wrong in that I did have to give up my job but I was just 3 months short of 60, and I’m not in a wheelchair yet, but I can still here the consultants words in those hours in the night when sleep evades me. Your cake looks delicious, and 5 of them! Your friends are very lucky!

in reply to helenlw7

Yes the Greek doctors hold no prisoners and say as it is , if it was just my lungs I would have been ok but it's not because it's small cell it's kinda spreading and because it's aggressive it can soon get out of control . I have noticed little changes going on and not for the better but I try to keep as focused as possible hence five identical cakes no fighting then .

helenlw7 profile image
helenlw7 in reply to

At the beginning of lockdown over here in March 2020, I went back to baking and baked 3 cakes a week - a coffee, a chocolate and a lemon drizzle cake for family and friends. I also made bread. There wasn’t time to think of anything while baking so I can see where you’re coming from.

in reply to helenlw7

Well I made five chocolate fudge cake with American buttercream filling and chocolate grated on the top all five exactly the same 😅 plus I made a spaghetti Bolognese for three days so well focused 😂

Katinka46 profile image
Katinka46

You are in a really tricky place. And those thoughts will dominate your mind—- But, what a fantastic cake!! Times 5? There is so much strength in you, I am so impressed and lost in admiration. Lucky friends.Xxxx

in reply to Katinka46

Cooking keeps me focused and when I get like this it's best to cook and put my focus on what I enjoy . Ok I don't eat them but it's nice when you see others enjoy . I didn't stop at five cakes I also made a spaghetti Bolognese for the next couple of days 😹😹😹

doddsie profile image
doddsie

Thats's a pretty harsh comment to make. Maybe the doctor could learn from you re how to be kind to other people. That was lovely of you to be thinking of your friends and baking for them too. Thinking of you and doctors aren't always right! xx

in reply to doddsie

In this case after looking at the scans etc I can see the oncologist point and he didn't pussyfoot around as all the doctors here they are direct so you can prepare

peege profile image
peege

Yeah, doctors aren't always right Dave. A friends husband has cancer of the blood & was told to get his affairs in order as he'd have 5 years at most. 9 years later he's still here. Really kind of you to make cakes for your friends . Take care m'dear

in reply to peege

My regular oncologist he didn't give me the full picture for months but when I was admitted to hospital I actually saw the chief oncologist head of oncology he said I had been kept in the dark too much and needed to get prepared . He was direct but was also sympathetic to the situation and said he would make sure things were put in place for me being here with no family around.

pepparuby1 profile image
pepparuby1

Like many say - enjoy your day and to be honest Dave all of us every single person on the planet - only has today! That’s why it’s called present. Tomorrow is a mystery indeed! Not sure that helps but I don’t try to look too far into the future. My 15 year old cat has lung problems her breathing is 60 should be less than 30 nothing can be done - I’m enjoying her today because I may not have her tomorrow. Enjoy your birthday in Greece

in reply to pepparuby1

I have been doing exactly that but as things are getting worse far quicker than expected it's hard to stay focused on the present plus I have the attention span of an ant 😅 which doesn't help and because I'm on my machine six times a day it restricts what I can do I can't go out and enjoy a day out and I'm spending so much time around the house and with how intense the heats been here the only time I can enjoy outside is night time and being alone doesn't help much, too much time for the mind to play games.

Solily profile image
Solily

I wish my arms were long enough to reach you to give you a big hug!You are never alone.... you have all of us

Happy Birthday!!xx

in reply to Solily

Thank you xx

leo60 profile image
leo60 in reply to Solily

Couldn't have said it better 💕💕 xx

in reply to leo60

Thank you 👍🏼🤠

Collie4 profile image
Collie4

It is understandable how you have morbid thoughts, and hard to enjoy and take every day as it comes when we have depressing thoughts about our future. Your cake looks really lovely, i hope your friends enjoy.

Take care and have a good day.

in reply to Collie4

Thank you off to the pulmonologist for a spirometry test this morning so full of excitement today 😂😂😂👍🏼

Collie4 profile image
Collie4

🙂, hope it goes well.

in reply to Collie4

Well it would be nice but the problems I've been having past week or so I'm expecting it to be a bad one , the extream heat here as caused problems especially having high humidity with it and I know I have wet pluricie again so I'll see how it goes , I'm not letting it ruin my day today 👍🏼😂

gardenalan profile image
gardenalan

Keep your chin up Dave and enjoy every day only God knows when your time is up if anything is going to kill you it will all that chocolate cake 😂xx

in reply to gardenalan

I made five cakes but I don't eat them myself I don't do sweet food only savoury I'm a pure carnivor 😂😂😂

CDPO16 profile image
CDPO16

Not exactly a great way to spend your day but after the spirometry I hope you can enjoy your birthday and raise a glass or two of JD. Best wishes to you Dave 🎂🍻 xx

in reply to CDPO16

You can guarantee the JD will be out for a couple of drinks 🤠 I'm just having a frappe at the moment before my appointment but thank you for your wishes xx

Wonderboy6 profile image
Wonderboy6

Happy birthday, youngster, you have yourself a goood day, you hearing me.have 4 or 5 for me.no,make that 6.

in reply to Wonderboy6

😂😂😂😂😂 ok ok. No pressure you make sure you have a good day aswell buddy 👍🏼 I'm having a frappe then go and let the pulmonologist blow my lungs up 😂😂😂

Izb1 profile image
Izb1

Happy Birthday Dave 🎂🍻🍰🍾🍭🎈🎁 xx

We can only live for today Dave , even Jesus said let tomorrow take care of itself.

After your date with the pulmonologist, have a nice lunch out on the way back, with a couple of Jd's later.

Your mates will go bonkers when they see the cakes, they are fab.

Will be thinking of you xx

in reply to Izb1

I dropped off all the cakes this morning one of my friends opened the foil grabbed a fork and ploughed into it 😂😂😂 JD definitely on the card's today . Thank you for your kind wishes xxx

B0xermad profile image
B0xermad

That's a lovely looking cake and your friends are very lucky to have you. It is really not a nice thing to be told by your oncologist and you have every right to feel that way but you are still here right now and I am sure your friends on here and in Greece are so thankful for you ❤ Happy birthday to you

in reply to B0xermad

Thank you so much 😊😊😊

B0xermad profile image
B0xermad in reply to

You are welcome and always here as a listening ear for you

in reply to B0xermad

I appreciate it aswell 👍🏼 sometimes your day starts off good and it just takes a little thing to push you over . I've never been like this so it's hard to adjust 😅👍🏼👍🏼

B0xermad profile image
B0xermad in reply to

Bloody grab life by the neck and do whatever you can 👍

in reply to B0xermad

I'm not going without a fight but I'll be turning hell into a casino when I do go 🤣🤣🤣

B0xermad profile image
B0xermad in reply to

Beautiful freshwater

Clear sunny day
in reply to B0xermad

Got plenty of this 😂😂😂😂😂

B0xermad profile image
B0xermad in reply to

So you have lol

in reply to B0xermad

I must admit you never get bored of looking at the sea rough or smooth always beautiful unless you are on the east coast and looking across the wind turbines and the dirty brown water 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

LissacFrance profile image
LissacFrance

You sound like my nephew. He was diagnosed with glioblastoma when only 49 and given 8 months to live. He was determined to celebrate his 50th birthday, but hedged his bets and had big party a couple of months early. Thanks to clever foctors, he had a second 50th party and nearly made it to 51. Last time we saw him was when the Tour de France cycle race started in Yorkshire and his wife had got his armchair outside so that he could watch the race go by. Enjoy your birthday tomorrow, Chris.

in reply to LissacFrance

Thank you ,👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

Alberta56 profile image
Alberta56

Happy birthday, Dave. You share it with my daughter. Hope you can keep your mind off the gloomy prognostications, which may after all be wrong. We all hope so- we can't do without you. Sue and i will be on windmill duty today, just down the road at our lovely mill, so celebrations will have to wait. xxxx

Ergendl profile image
Ergendl

Even if you had been expecting what the oncologist said, it would still have been a great shock to have it confirmed.

What a beautiful coping mechanism you have, making and cooking delicious food. That cake looks so wonderful, it makes me wish I was on a plane to Rhodes to have a taste. Best wishes for your birthday xx

in reply to Ergendl

Thank you and cooking is the best coping mechanism going xxx

Ergendl profile image
Ergendl in reply to

Yes, because you always end up with something that satisfies both the eye and the stomach.

in reply to Ergendl

If it's sweet someone else's stomach 😂😂😂😂😂

Aingeful profile image
Aingeful

The word that strikes me here is "may"? that suggests that the worst possible scenario isn't necessarily going to happen. That cake looks a bit much for me,I prefer savoury food! Can you make me a good pork pie ? 😀 Is your oncologist Greek? Having lived in a foreign country myself I found that they often didn't have the language to explain things fully. Hope you feel better soon.

in reply to Aingeful

The oncologist I saw wasn't my usual one he's totally Greek but speaking good English , I saw the head of oncology who's a Austrian Greek and speaking brilliant English but he said that my regular oncologist has not given me all the information I needed and been holding back on Information and he wasn't a happy bunny about that . Your like me I make all these cakes not eating one I too eat savoury 😂😂😂😂

bluepuddy profile image
bluepuddy

Happy Birthday Daveyboy. Shut that old oncologist out with his messages of doom and definitely don’t let him have any of that delicious cake !!!

in reply to bluepuddy

He's getting jack 💩 outta me 😂😂😂😂 and thank you for the bday wishes 👍🏼

bluepuddy profile image
bluepuddy in reply to

A positive outlook is everything. Jonderbe's and other people's replies prove that.

OK time to shut that door and party with your friends. 😀😀😀 🎂🎂🍷🍷🍷

Happy Birthday again Daveyboy and a big hug.

in reply to bluepuddy

I thank you for your wishes and support and today I'm blanking out everything, I haven't even looked at my spirometry results 😅😅 I know I've been put on some new meds aswell 👍🏼

bluepuddy profile image
bluepuddy in reply to

Well done, you don't want miserable medical stuff on your birthday. Have a good day ! 🍸🍽

in reply to bluepuddy

Gonna see if I can behave with Mr JD 😂😂😂😂 not holding my breath on that one 😂😂😂

bluepuddy profile image
bluepuddy in reply to

It's your birthday, you can do what you like ! You're here and because doctors aren't God you could well be celebrating again in the future. So party !!!!!

bluepuddy profile image
bluepuddy in reply to

I don't know if this is going to work, but I'm trying to send you Happy Birthday by Stevie Wonder on a link. You really ought to have the song on your birthday, it's traditional. If it's not OK, you can find it on Youtube. Ignore the advert intro.

youtube.com/watch?v=inS9gAg...

in reply to bluepuddy

That was cracking 😹 didn't realize that Stevie wonder ate all the pies . Boy as he put weight on . 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

bluepuddy profile image
bluepuddy in reply to

It’s sitting at that piano all the time that does it 😀

in reply to bluepuddy

😂😂😂😂to many burgers

bluepuddy profile image
bluepuddy in reply to

Maybe somebody ought to tell him 😊Hope you had a good birthday. All the best.

in reply to bluepuddy

I've not celebrated my birthday in many years but today as been a fantastic day that I will look back on there was one thing missing that would have made it perfect but we all have dreams. I'm still a happy chappie 👍🏼👍🏼

bluepuddy profile image
bluepuddy in reply to

I’m glad. 😀

in reply to bluepuddy

👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

Bingo88 profile image
Bingo88

Just try to keep Positive Dave. Sadly compassion and care is lacking. Some people don't want to know everything unless they ask a question. You could have many good times ahead. Just try and enjoy each day and look forward pal. Brian

in reply to Bingo88

Will do Brian

johnderby profile image
johnderby

Hi Davey. It certainly is one hell of a shock to receive that sort of news and it throws you into turmoil. Please remember that Doctors can only guess how long a person may have left; it is not an exact science. I was told two years ago that I only had a couple of months left. Here I am still around and just trying to take it day by day. As I said, it is a shock, but please try to concentrate on the good things around you, like the five brilliant cakes you have just made for your good friends. All the best Davey, John

in reply to johnderby

Cheers John 😊👍🏼 have a good day buddy

Shirleyj profile image
Shirleyj

Happy birthday to you, cakes look delicious 😋 xxx

in reply to Shirleyj

Thank you. I don't eat sweet things 😂😂 ironic really

Loopylorre profile image
Loopylorre

Happy birthday 🥳, it’s really difficult not thinking about the things the doctor has said to you, but, you have a lot of people on here supporting you & sending hugs 🤗, well done for the cakes! Wish I was nearby to have a slice! Stay positive, you are doing so well, hugs & well wishes coming to you 🎂🎉🥃😊

in reply to Loopylorre

Thank you

Mavary profile image
Mavary

Hi Davey. What time are we all invited? You’re a very good cook. I hope you’ve saved a cake for you.

When is your Birthday?

in reply to Mavary

Birthday is today and all five cakes gone to five friends 😁 one cake was eaten in two hours 😂🤣🤣

Mavary profile image
Mavary in reply to

Aww! Happy Birthday. I hope your friends are coming in to share your day with you. Is it any cooler now over there?

in reply to Mavary

Not much cooler and I've not long got home from pulmonologist got more damn drugs to take 😂😂 deal with that tomorrow just going to open a new bottle of JD thanks to a friend who bought one for a prezzy 😂😂👍🏼

Mavary profile image
Mavary in reply to

That’s the trouble. Every time you go to the Drs for something you get new drugs. That was your Birthday present from the hospital. 😹

Thepainterswife profile image
Thepainterswife

Understandable Davey but please remember that the most eminent doctors are not God , they can give you a prognosis not a definite timescale . How many people have been given X amount of years to live and have survived way beyond that - hundreds if not thousands 🤷🏻‍♀️ Remember too that negativity and stress will be detrimental to your health - you know that . My own husband was put on palliative care by the respiratory team a few weeks ago as you know , the Gp then came and very nicely gave us the most depressing speech about end of life 😟 but he also increased some medication and hey presto hubbys like a new man 🤷🏻‍♀️ The nurse who called in the Gp came last week and was amazed at the change , said she wouldn’t have said it was the same man . We were shocked when he was put on palliative care in the first place , we re not blind to how poorly he is but at the time we were happy with his condition and it’s obviously improved since . You’ve been told the worst that might happen but accept it might not and get on with enjoying what is actually happening in life now 😃 Your cake looks amazing I hope you have a great birthday !!xx

in reply to Thepainterswife

I know something's not good because lots not working properly and in general feeling worse. Cakes all gone to new home's 😂😂😂

Thepainterswife profile image
Thepainterswife in reply to

I don’t think anyone on this site has everything in good working order , and many seem to have fewer parts working than not 😳 - I used to say I’m fit and well but stress is taking it’s toll still we must soldier on 💪😂 Enjoy your relaxation x

in reply to Thepainterswife

Physical pain and bits not working I can deal with like you said stress is different along with emotional stuff it gets tougher all the time but we plod on we don't have much option.,👍🏼

in reply to Thepainterswife

Thank you as always I do appreciate your support. 8m having a lazy afternoon now xx

Jane2005 profile image
Jane2005

Happy Birthday your cake looks so good 😋

in reply to Jane2005

Thank you all five went to my friends who are enjoying them one was eaten in one sitting 🤣🤣🤣

Blackcat99 profile image
Blackcat99

Best wishes on your birthday, Dave! (I seem to get forum notifications a day later than everyone else, so hope I'm still on the correct day?) Oh, gosh - a spirometry test by way of celebration - hope it wasn't too off-putting? They always look at me and say, "Can you not blow a bit harder than THAT?" while I collapse, scarlet-faced. The consultant obviously believes in straight-talking and, to be honest, I prefer that approach - after the initial shock, it gives me something to focus on fighting against. I love your approach of bake till you drop, and I bet your lucky friends love it too - just a pity that the international postal services aren't a bit speedier, or we could all put in a regular order! Hopefully the weather will soon become a little bit cooler and less humid, and you can enjoy your JD in the open air. Take care 🤗

in reply to Blackcat99

😂😂😂😂 spirometry well she was puffing more than me which means it was bad haven't looked at results and will do that tomorrow today is none medical day lol she's put me on new medication on top of what I have because of recurring pluricie . No cooler but JD coming out the fridge and I'm off 😂😂😂😂

Blackcat99 profile image
Blackcat99 in reply to

🥃🥃🥃🥃😅

in reply to Blackcat99

Oh give me credit I can put more than that away 😂😂😂😂😂🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃😂

Blackcat99 profile image
Blackcat99 in reply to

🤢 enjoy!🤣

in reply to Blackcat99

I may have a pounding head but never sick especially when it is JD. 😂😂😂😂😂

Morrison10 profile image
Morrison10

Hi, I’m just catching up, been Nebulising and drainage etc. Yes have great birthday, your cakes look lovely. Sorry your consultant is telling you don’t have long left, hope he is wrong. Many years ago when I was 16 was called out of school as mom just had op and they thought her heart failing. She lived to 111. Surgeon etc were being over cautious. Happy birthday, Jean x

in reply to Morrison10

Cheers Jean hope you have a lovely day too .x

Walkwalkwalk profile image
Walkwalkwalk

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVEY There is a lot going on for you and it sounds as if the changes that you are observing in your health are contributing to your emotional concerns. Recognition of changes can’t be easy where you are: you handle it well with a mixture of distraction and positive thinking.

Do have time for you too.!

Your cakes look beautiful and it’s so good that you share with friends.

Enjoy those birthday JD’s and the moonlight.

Grace

in reply to Walkwalkwalk

Thanks grace I will certainly try to make the most of today after spending half the day with the pulmonologist 😂😂

Purpled profile image
Purpled

Wow just wow, Dave I wish I were one of those friends it looks lush. Oh and Dave don’t waste time worrying about what you cannot change just think to yourself that he may not of meant this birthday xx

in reply to Purpled

Well one friend in particular got a fork and started eating it as soon as he got it 😂😂. I would be happy making cakes all day everyday 😀😀😀👍🏼 xxx

Purpled profile image
Purpled in reply to

Where have you been all my life! You could make em and I could eat em. So much better than boring savoury stuff. Enjoy what’s left of your birthday x

in reply to Purpled

Will do 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

dunnellon profile image
dunnellon

Happy Birthday to you! You have some mighty lucky friends Daveyboy! Cakes look yummy! I can only echo what the others have said about doctors' predictions not always being on the mark. Wishing you a wonderful day and a cool, starry night!

in reply to dunnellon

For all of this I thank you

Stoneferry8 profile image
Stoneferry8

Some docs don’t have a grand bedside manner do they? Please try to not dwell on what he said, but there are some better ways of expressing yourself. , i agree that it’s right that you are ‘informed” but there are ways…. Give yourself some serious self time, David. Spoil yourself by taking time to mull over some of these kind people on here giving you love and encouragement. You deserve comfort and the doctor could do with a swift kick up the backside, so to speak. Let’s hope in his quiet moments that he thinks up some better ways of speaking. Sending you love, Marie.

in reply to Stoneferry8

Unfortunately Greek doctors are straight talkers and believe if you know the facts you can take on board the importance. And even though this oncologist is head of oncology he as the same opinion

Stoneferry8 profile image
Stoneferry8

By the way, I hope your birthday is amazing x

Pink background with dancing figures saying Happy Birthday
corriena profile image
corriena

Its difficult to stay posative and upbeat. But sometimes you are aloud to feel down and upset about your prognosis. Just try not to let the sadness take over and hang around too long.Cake ! Cake improves everything and that one looks particularly yummy 🙂

in reply to corriena

It would be nice to have someone around to cook for so my friends get lots of different foods and pies cakes 😂😂😂

valspia profile image
valspia

I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your posts and your cheerful attitude. I understand totally what you're going through, sending positive and happy thoughts your way and please know that we care 🙂

in reply to valspia

I thank you , just because you are down or in a bad place if you can put a smile on someone's face or made them laugh it's good for your soul . I always said that when I lose my humour I will be lost . Knowing you enjoy my posts means I'm in the right direction and doing something positive. 😀 Thank you

Digger0 profile image
Digger0

Sorry I missed your Birthday. jlcards.com/Ps6qH0

in reply to Digger0

Thank you 😊😊😊

Sutton5 profile image
Sutton5

Happy belated birthday Daveyboy 🥃🎂

in reply to Sutton5

Aferisto poli 😹😹😹😹

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