Feeling a bit useless

[cappy1966]

Hi , everbody . Felt a bit useless today , and somewhat embarased .. Im 55 years of age , was diagnosed with COPD several years ago and to be fair I am a shadow of my former self these-days ..... i was actively climbing mountains once and was Derbyshire champion at competitive smimming when i was 14-16 years old ... i was a joiner , cabinet maker for most my working life ........But i'm bloody crap thesedays ...i struggle to even do simple DIY jobs , that my dad aged 88 is able to do ... i have dreams that everybody is someting laughing at me .... I dont want sympathy , but was wondering what some of you do to perk yerself up when you feel a bit useless XX

[corriena]

I just find something i can do it puts a posative feel to things. But may i suggest you try exercising. Lots of strength building exercises starting with light weights building them up slowly and some stamina building ones walking exercise bike ect. I would also suggest you try pulmonary rehab to get you back on track. You may not be able to do what you used to, but thear are lots of things you can do.

[battison]

Bless you. I know how you feel as my husband has COPD and feels exactly the same. He gets depressed not being able to do the things he used to be able to do. I know it’s not easy but I think building up stamina is key even in just baby steps at first. Walking is excellent. Don’t beat yourself up, you are not useless!! And you’re not alone in this x

[Lynnetp]

Hi Cappy,You’re not useless. I know it can be frustrating some days and and sometimes there’s a feeling of loss for who we were....I very much get that. It’s easy to sit & let that wash over us and weigh us down.

But... our dodgy lungs don’t define us. We are lovely kind thoughtful people who just happen to have a lung condition.

I bet there are things that you used to do that you can STILL do, but maybe a little slower. Take a breath, take a break. It will fill you with a sense of achievement and maybe a smile.

Exercise definitely helps though to help build strength and endurance.

Hope you have a lovely day

Lynne xx

[guytane]

mate I was diagnosed with mild 10 years ago felt down in the dumps am tree surgeon was going to pak it in similar age I love going gym very active weight lifting karate then it all stoped when I read wot copd was then one day I thought this aint going to beat me so I thought positive even the thought of copd made my chest tite its in your mind get thinking positive it will change your life get out their again like I do am still a tree surgeon at 60 still go gym try breathing exercises also get air physio a device that clears mucus out your lung inhalers only open your lungs they don't clear mucus soon as you use it you will start coughing mucus up and makes breathing a lot eseir get it on amazon great device start fast walking get your lungs in shape but most of all think you can beat it your minds a powerful too most of all if you think sick your mind will make you sick think healthy and watch your breathing get better I even jogged a mile around my chest waseant like it use to be but I could do it age makes are lungs less able so nobody has lungs like they did at 30

[Ergendl]

Fortunately, most other people are too busy thinking about themselves and their mobile phones to be concentrating on you. Anyone that passes judgement on you, actually passes judgement on themselves.

I used to walk the fells all day and swim like a fish. Now I concentrate on the things I can do. I play music, take singing lessons and lead singing sessions for people with lung problems. I have a large post card collection which my husband loves adding to all the time with auction lots of hundreds to thousands of cards. I enjoy jigsaws when I have a chance. And I set up a publishing business, with my next book due out this week. So life is very busy doing things I enjoy doing, just not all the same things I did years ago.

[Whitechinchilla in reply to Ergendl]

Hi ErgendlYou’ve written a book!

Wow, what is it about if I may ask? And will it be for sale to the public?

That sounds incredible! Well done 🙌

[Ergendl in reply to Whitechinchilla]

How lovely of you to ask. My next book, The Last Thursday Ritual in Little Piddlington, is published tomorrow. This is a light comedy, written in a different style to my normal offerings. If you'd like to find out more, visit eregendal.com

[Whitechinchilla in reply to Ergendl]

Thankyou so much Ergendl.I’m off to check your website right now.

Good wishes for bumper sales!!

And congratulations again. I am in absolute awe!!!

Kind regards

JILL

[CDPO16]

Hi cappy. You aren't alone in how you feel. I miss the me I was too. My mum joined the ramblers when she was 68, I'm 67 and often struggle to walk slowly from one room to another! It's all too easy to dwell on the bad things and find the positive but I find that logging onto the forum helps a lot with the great variety of topics that often stimulate a lot of 'chat'. There is also no judgement here which is worth a lot. I try to do an exercise routine each day too and do jigsaws. None of it is earth shattering but it helps. Hope you find something that helps you feel more worthwhile. Best wishes.

[peege]

What great replies you have cappy1966! Baby steps, rebuild some stamina, Pulmonary Rehab, don't beat yourself up, the loss of who you were, positive thinking.

All the above are hard to do when you're feeling low I know.

I used to ride a biggish motorbike, ski, ride, run, gym before work then hopping on bike to cycle 3 miles to work over bridges (probably contributing to a big downturn in asthma in the London traffic fumes), all of those I did at speed.

I do believe many of us have to deal with the loss of the person we were, a kind of grief and we deal with it in different ways. Personally I'm going through it again as having rebuilt my health, stamina etc I hurt my back which has literally stopped me in my tracks. So its back to baby steps for me. After walking between 2 - 7 miles a day, Pilates, gardening, history of art lectures, I'd worked myself to a reasonable fitness for my age & lung diseases, its maddening.

Still, I've seen a good musculoskeletal practitioner, found its not disc related or arthritis in a once fractured ankle so there's a tinge of excitement about the future 😀

Bravo for being honest and your post & replies will help many in the same position.

I'd add that if your diet & weight aren't healthy to make a difference there as well, you'll begin to rebuild self esteem, will power, stamina, strength, passions etc. Slowly does it.

Keep in touch to let us know how you get on, all the best. Peege

[watergazer]

Hi you have had some positive replies cappy1966 from peopl with similar issue. Small baby steps to strengthen you up. Take care x

[Bluenotes]

I know what you mean cappy .. it is hard but I just try to do a little at a time , we are still the same people who do things very very slowly. 🤗🤗

[Alberta56]

I feel useless being unable to go up ladders any more. Since I can't even get the b***** ladder out of the shed, this is of course irrelevant. I try to think like Mr. Spock- is this logical? Especially since we know some very good handimen, who are also good for a laugh and a chat. What can I still do? Well I can no longer help with 'real' work on our local Wildlife Trust reserves, but on good days I can still use my brain, so I have volunteered to keep the Trust informed about planning applications in this area in the hope of doing some good that way. I'm also on the local Group Committee. (Never thought of myself as a committee person.) I do try to get out in the big outdoors when I can. Bet your dad and the rest of your family don't think you're useless. Try to reassess your life. There are people out there who would value your expertise about your various former activities. Lung problems + shielding have rather cut us off from the rest of the world- good luck in finding a new niche.

[micox]

Hi cappy. Best wishes to you - you've eased my mind by showing me there are many others with whom I share the same boat.

[cappy1966]

Thanks for all the replies and support ....., So many thanks to everybody who took the time to reply . ....... its hard finding something to cling on to at the moment , but i know i am a survivor , so will get my gears in action .. i'm probably being a bit silly , as i know my family and freinds do love me . And it looks like strangers do as well

❤️ .

[Patk1 in reply to cappy1966]

No one will b laughing.often tho people dont get how tough it is.we all miss what we could do.if yr able,maybe start with short walk,slowly so u can breathe better.look online for local pulmonary rehab + refer yrself- u will learn a lot + learn to exercise with people in same boat x

[cappy1966]

when i say strangers , i mean people who i dont know ... we are all in a great family xx

[Kristicats]

It’s hard to find something useful and interesting to keep you occupied when you’ve had such a long physical career but try you must. I walk( on the flat ) and feel better in the fresh air. I have to pace myself and have a project. At the moment my projects are 1. Resurfacing my wooden kitchen worktops( you may be able to give me some tips?) bit by bit and 2. Creating my family tree on ancestry . I try to have one physical task and one sit down task on the go. Trouble with me the pacing myself bit isn’t mastered as such yet!

Good luck

My favourite saying.....

With small steps we can climb mountains!

Cx

[madonbrew]

Hi cappy, It’s not silly at all, nor either are you useless! The others have offered some great replies! Remember too that your worth isn’t dependent on what you can do, but in who you are as a person!

Ok, I’m a girl and quite creative, but I have a little journal where I have made a little positive word collage about myself so on the days I’m feeling rubbish about myself, I can open it up and see actually I am creative, I’m an encourager, I am loved, I can play the piano etc

...lol, I’m not necessarily saying make a word collage, however sometimes writing the positive things down somewhere is something concrete you can look at on a bad day....even things like compliments people have ever given you etc.

Anyhow, take care! Like Chriskho said ‘ with small steps we can climb mountains.’

[Aingeful]

I so understand this! I was having exactly this same conversation yesterday with my daughter. Wondering where the old me is! I haven't come to terms with this yet . I can still bake and make myself nice things to eat. I can still draw and paint and have my art stuff out now,I am painting a bluebird. I can also manage a little bit of light gardening, repotting etc.I try to make the best of things but its difficult?