A dead duck.: A woman brought a very... - Lung Conditions C...

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A dead duck.

2greys profile image
2greys
β€’42 Replies

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and

produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she

cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,

the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the

Cat Scan, it's now $150."

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2greys profile image
2greys
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42 Replies
β€’
Snackjack profile image
Snackjack

Love it.

CDPO16 profile image
CDPO16

πŸ˜‚

RoadRunner44 profile image
RoadRunner44

That raised a smile! Just what we want, a bit of humour in our lives at the moment.Thanks 2greys.

Gingerapple profile image
Gingerapple

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸΌThat, makes my whole month!!!! 🀣🀣

sassy59 profile image
sassy59

Very good indeed. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

madonbrew profile image
madonbrew

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ That was funny and made me laugh! Thanks!

Dens57 profile image
Dens57

First time on here and immediately came upon your Dead Duck story. Thanks! I truly needed that laugh. God bless you

Annie31 profile image
Annie31

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Really good!

Annie31 profile image
Annie31β€’ in reply toAnnie31

Just read this out to my husband as he is the joker in this family, he thought it was hilarious - "I must remember to tell 'r' Steve ((his brother in a Wiltshire accent😁) that one!

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Oh that's terrible.... more please :)

Katinka46 profile image
Katinka46

Love it

ElsaC profile image
ElsaC

,πŸ˜‚

ElsaC profile image
ElsaC

πŸ˜‚

Lynnetp profile image
Lynnetp

🀣🀣🀣

HighGables profile image
HighGables

Very good πŸ˜‚

Fircone profile image
Fircone

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Lyd12 profile image
Lyd12

Good one, thanks. x

MoyB profile image
MoyB

I love it! Read it out to my husband and we've both been having a good laugh. What a nice way to start the day. Thanks, 2Greys. xx Moy

That made us giggle and as others have said a lovely start to the day! Going to make our breakfast with a smile on my face. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Thanks 2greys x

2171till profile image
2171till

Brilliant

Timepiece profile image
Timepiece

Love it ⏱

Margaret_craft profile image
Margaret_craft

Like it 2greys. I had a good chuckle at this. It has set me up for the day now. πŸ˜‚

Thepainterswife profile image
Thepainterswife

πŸ€£πŸ˜‚ so funny and so true !

Thinkhealthy profile image
Thinkhealthy

Very funny x

oneeyedjack69 profile image
oneeyedjack69

Thank you for the laugh

Toby14 profile image
Toby14

Bad pain day but I'm laughing my head off. Thankyou.

Snowie49 profile image
Snowie49

I tried so hard to read this to hubby, laughed so much it took me about 10minutes to read it. Best joke we have heard in weeks.

2bluegrunty profile image
2bluegrunty

Very funny we all need a laugh these days

watergazer profile image
watergazer

Good one 2g x

starskyd profile image
starskyd

Love that

blueskies--2 profile image
blueskies--2

Great stuff ha

mikeadams51 profile image
mikeadams51

Old school humour. Great

2greys profile image
2greysβ€’ in reply tomikeadams51

It quacked me up when i first read it too :D

Annie31 profile image
Annie31β€’ in reply to2greys

Nice!

HollyBoyd profile image
HollyBoyd

Excellent!!

pegbl profile image
pegbl

Brilliant, just need a good laugh πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚thanks 2greys

Kate0307 profile image
Kate0307

Brilliant!

majji profile image
majji

Nice one 2greys . . .

gilles profile image
gilles

i like it :) thank you we can all enjoy a smile

dunnellon profile image
dunnellon

Too funny! Thanks for the giggle!

GDanker profile image
GDanker

Good joke! Really made me laugh. Much needed in these dismal times!

Carnival567 profile image
Carnival567

Great! What my father would have called a shaggy dog story.

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