The Roman's had it sorted
With a sponge upon a stick
You don't need anything fancy
It's simple and it's quick
You don't need rolls of paper
Go cutting down the trees
A little squirt of water
Then a gentle breeze
French and others do it
Which seems to work quite well
At least I must assume so
But one can never tell
So why can't we all have it
That's what I'd like to know
I'd like a bit of comfort
When I have to go.