Depression, alcohol & guns in the house. Bad recipe!

My youngest child, a daughter, her boyfriend shot himself in the head dead last night! He was 29. Now I’m worried my daughter will do something foolish. They had been separated for about 7 months after being together 7 years. He suffered depression but I didn’t think him capable of killing himself.

My son has a swat team in front of his house after a shooter incident at The Chandler Arizona USA schools were put on lockdown. No one is home at my sons house. I hope they arrest the shooter whoever he is soon.

I’ve had better days!

[HungryHufflepuff]

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry to hear this. Does your daughter live near to you or anyone she can stay with to help her through this terrible time? My thoughts are with you all.

[Hidden in reply to HungryHufflepuff]

Yes. I have 8 kids. She has a lot of support. The family will do anything for her. But depression and if she drinks still worries me! She’s with her sisters right now. But we’ve all told her we will do anything she needs.

[Caspiana]

Oh my word. I had to read that three times to really understand it Hidden . What a tragic thing to happen. I hope your daughter is with you at home. Best keep her close. No doubt she will need intense therapy, but having her family near her will help her a lot. I hope for the safety of your son too. What a world we live in. I am thinking of your daughter's ex and your daughter today. xx 🌹🌹

[powderpuff]

I’m so, so sorry to hear this - just horrendous for everyone. I’ll be thinking of all of you Apeter.

[sassy59]

How very very sad Apeter, such a terrible thing to have happened. I truly hope that, with your support, your dear daughter will be alright.

Hoping your son is ok too. My heart goes out to you and keeping you in my thoughts. Xxxx💖

[Hidden in reply to sassy59]

The shooter in Arizona is caught and over with. Done.

My daughter is a different story. I’m her father and she is 26. I’ve never heard such a deep gut wrenching cry from my girl ever. Now I’m so worried I will die suddenly of a heart attack or blood clot who knows. It makes me angry. Not for me. But by damn I better not die right away and add to my child’s broken heart.

[sassy59 in reply to Hidden]

You’re poor daughter needs you and you’re not going anywhere. Stay strong dear Apeter. Xxxx

[2greys]

What shocking news to have received. I do hope your daughter is not blaming herself for this. Depression is a really wicked condition. Give her lots of support and make her feel really loved.

[Hidden in reply to 2greys]

I’m doing everything I can. She is blaming herself. No matter what I tell her.

[Badbessie]

I am so sorry for you loss. Sadly in many ways it is the people they leave behind who suffer the most. My best friend's son killed himself two months ago. Our children grew up together and his death at age 24 was felt by everyone. We all felt that we should have recognized how deep his depression was. Obviously you ask yourself many questions. Why did he not talk to me? I should have known etc. You and your daughter will need support over the coming weeks and months obviously you both feel in some way to blame. I know my own thoughts were not totally rational when given the news of his death. In realty I very much doubt that you or your daughter could have prevented this . My thoughts are with you both.

[Hidden in reply to Badbessie]

No, we couldn’t have prevented it. We knew he was struggling for some time. But the only way we could have saved him would have been to illegally kidnap and restrain him.

[Hacienda]

My Heart goes out to you All, You Know you have to be strong for your Daughter & Son right now Pete. It is amazing where we find our Strength when feeling Poorly ourselves. Bless you Hun. XXX C.

[Hidden in reply to Hacienda]

I love my daughter so much I feel very strong. Problem is, what will she as an adult allow!

[Hacienda in reply to Hidden]

She will feel your Love, That is all you can give her right now, Do you have other family to increase the Love hold and to support you. I pray you all get through this most dreadful time and the family of her Boyfriend are most devastated & Grieving also. Depression is so not understood. Sending my Strongest Love wishes to you Pete. xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hacienda]

Yes! I have 4 sons, 4 daughters. They are on planes now! She has abundant support. But I’m still feeling insecure regarding what she may do! But yes she has more support than most could ever dream of!

[jackdup]

I am so sorry to hear that, how tragic. It must be very difficult for your daughter, and for you with having to be concerned for your daughter. I pray she will be able to come to terms with it.

[Hidden in reply to jackdup]

Thx for your concern. I’m now 58 my wife 62. We are concerned at this moment with the immature impulse reactions/choices young ones make! We obviously hope for the best, however I’m frantic my daughter will drink and get behind the wheel. Or who the heck knows what’s next... youths do impulsive foolish things. Duh...why am I suffering from end stage copd....a lot of it is my own fault. Yes, I have genetic alpha one ZZ. However, I smoked cigs, weed, did drugs. Was a real risk taker and quite immature until I married an older woman 34 years ago that woke me up!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I kinda blame myself now for the decision making my kids make because I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit I wasn’t the best Dad in their formative years!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

However , by damn I’m sitting here with my phone waiting for any call. I will do anything now for my kids. My daughter is in need tonight.

[jackdup in reply to Hidden]

That is really a tough situation and can only imagine the stress you must be going through right now. Your kids are your kids and you worry about them whether they are 10 or 40 and when something like this happens it is hard to know what to do or say. Hopefully your daughter will not do anything drastic.