Denial and the New Bed

[Phil40]

Hi everyone, I am sorry I have not been here for a while, I have periods of not being on line really.

Anyhoo, after Mums hospital admission a few weeks ago that was for 5 days, longest for a while, she was discharged with a pressure sore on her back. (Was in for pneumonia as usual. Keeps growing her own).

The sore did not clear up so the wonderful Community Matron service nurses, (they are really good to Mum), ordered a hospital bed with electric positioning and an air pumped mattress to replace her old bed. It came in 2 days from ordering it! Outstanding.

I had to co-ordinate the removal of the old same day as arriving new bed etc which all went ok phew. Surprisingly stressful.

Mums default setting is DENIAL about anything that troubles her, always has been. In fact I was beginning to think she may be Egyptian she lived in de Nile so much.

Obviously, a hospital bed in your room really is tricky to ignore and there is no denying that if you need that then you are probably ill. Even if you never admit it.

So, that’s where we are at. Just spoke to her on the phone and she says her breathing is a bit rubbish this morning. I had a suspicion that a flare up was in the post so I am on my way over.

Hopefully it will be nothing serious but I cannot see her having many exacerbation in her now, she is more and more frail and less and less active. Her immune system struggles more and more every time.

I hope everyone has as good a day possible and I hope I have half the tenacity and positivity that I find amongst you good folk here, when my back is against the wall.

Phil xx

[chubby2x22]

Well done Phil, I'm sure your mum appreciates all you do, just doesn't like admitting anything, it's an age thingy. If you dont talk about it you ain't got it. Have a lovely weekend. Jane

[CDPO16]

It's really quite shameful that your mum developed a pressure sore while in hospital, adding to her problems. Good to know that you have the support of a good community nursing team who quickly got equipment installed to help deal with the problem, even though it may be intrusive in a domestic setting. I wish you both well. Carole

[sassy59]

You’re doing a great job Phil but yes your mum is in denial. That’s the way things are as you get older.

Hope the bed helps and things improve a little.

You take care. Xxxxx

[Patsy164]

Hi Phil sorry to hear about your mum and her problems. Lovely she has that bed must be better for her. The bed sore must be horrible, I had one once on my elbow and it was awful and on her back as well poor thing.

I think some of us, not all, can be in denial, I know I can be like that. When I feel well I can do anything, but I can't really. It's just nice feeling well now and again.

My Mum was very ill just like your Mum and the same as you a worry when she has an exacerbation, all you can do is be there for her and do as much as you can to make her comfy. X

[Hidden]

Her being in denial may not be such a bad thing. You seem to be on top of her health. Some people can’t control their worry and anxiety which can be very stressful on top of their health issues.

[Phil40]

Thanks everyone for your replies, this forum is so supportive.

To update; Mums oxygen saturation has dropped through the floor today, was the usual 91% ish until today then 88% when I got round lunchtime.

Mum said she doesn’t feel much worse than usual, but I called the Community Matron to ask for advice.

As I phoned, Mums sats went to 90% which I reported to the Matron.

I have kept a check on the level but will not be surprised if she is off to hospital again tomorrow.

Really seems to have come out of nowhere this time. Had obs done by nurse on Wednesday; all ok then; took her temperature today and that was ok too.

She says that the sputum is not looking dodgy (I am colour blind so can’t see if it’s a bit green or off colour)!

The exacerbations are different every single time. That is one of the many really frustrating nuances with this. You just cannot tell from morning to night what is going to happen!

I really hope that she will be a bit better tomorrow but I suspect that is probably unlikely.

I honestly don’t know how many exacerbations she has left that she can fight off now but obviously I hope and pray that she will prove me totally wrong and be bossing me about in the morning as usual.

I hope you all have as good a weekend as possible.

Thanks for being there x

[HungryHufflepuff]

Thinking of you and your mum 🤞