Something bad ...

[challny]

... is going on with me, and I don't know what it is. Just a couple of weeks ago I was talking about how good my breathing was; now, it's worse than it's ever been. Or could it be something else? I have no energy at all. I can't seem to accomplish the smallest chore. And I'm losing my partner of 15 years. She's fed up with me. If only it were all in my head. I'm sick and I'm sad. She doesn't want to see me.

[sassy59]

Oh challny and that’s awful. Why leave you now at your most vulnerable. I think that’s really sad.

See your doctor as soon as possible.

I could never leave Pete no matter what. I really feel for you. Xxxxxxxx

[challny in reply to sassy59]

Thanks, sassy59 ... I do need her more than ever, but she has always had a hard time dealing with this. Up until 2 and a half years ago, I was a fine and normal man, then it all went to hell. Her mother died of this disease.

[sassy59 in reply to challny]

Your partner must be so scared of losing you challny but I hope you can both work things out. Thinking of you. Xxxx

[Kittykat2]

Thats really sad for you.

Maybe the upset is making you anxious and affecting your breathing more.

Take care 💕X

[Caspiana]

On my challny . I thought not long ago you were cutting her grass? You sound like a good person and I'm sorry this is happening to you. I have read so many times on this forum and on a lung transplant forum how some people up and leave their ill partners. I am really sorry it must be simply devastating. Yet, through all this doom and gloom there is usually a day of sunshine even if we can't see it yet. Hang in there. 🌞

As for feeling worse there are many things that can cause a sudden decline and sometimes these are just temporary. Weather is one, when it starts to get hot and humidity rises, I definitely feel breathing is more difficult. Pollen can do this too. And doubtless, stress and worry. I remember some months ago you posted your FEV 1 is at 70%. That is very, very good. Please keep exercising and if you can join a walking group. I think it's very motivational to walk with other people. Don't cut yourself off from the outside world as much as you can. It can be very tempting to do so, especially if you are used to socialising with / through your partner with other people.

Sometimes being happy comes from letting situations be what they are instead of what we think they should be. Take good care and I'm so glad your sciatica is better.

Cas xx 🌞🌻🌱

[challny in reply to Caspiana]

Caspiana thanks for your uplifting message. Yes, just a week ago or so I was cutting her lawn. Today I can barely do anything. And, also yes, at my last pulmo appt. I was at 70 percent. That's why I'm so confused and upset. Thanks for your friendship and concern, and I hope you are doing well.

[Whitechinchilla in reply to Caspiana]

Wonderfully Wise Words, Cas. x

[gingermusic]

You should certainly see your doctor but I think also that your being so stressed out could be affecting your breathing I know it has that effect on me.

[Blackbird6]

I'm very sorry your having such a horrible time at the moment. Tell your partner how you feel about your relationship and on the flip side she could be be fearful of losing somone else she loves to a condition same as her mothers .

Suggest counselling maybe just a thought and also your stress could be causing breathing difficulties take care 💞💞

[Ergendl]

How awful for you. Hoping that things do start to improve soon. Do go and talk to your doctor about your condition and whether counselling would help.

[Corin1950]

I'm sorry to hear this especially as your sciatica has gone. I just wanted to say as a carer for my husband who has very severe emphysema (FEV 18%). it can be very difficult for partners to deal with. Sometimes it seems our life is all about his illness. Neither of us wants this but when he's unwell it's inevitable. You can also become seen as your illness and not the person you are. That's why it's important to try to focus on your interests and take an interest in your partners life too. Your FEV of 70 should enable you to do most things if you keep reasonably fit.

Hope all goes well for you

Corin

[challny in reply to Corin1950]

Corin1950 thank you for your reply. I am not the same now as I was when I charted a 70 percent FEV1. Either my number has plunged drastically or something else is going on. I do feel this illness has stolen her life as well as mine. She just cannot believe that the man who was perfectly fine for the first 13 years of our relationship could suddenly become so sick, but that's what has happened. She believes that much of it is "in my head," but I know too horribly well that is not the case.

[Corin1950]

Whilst you are right and it's not in your head when you have this illness there's a strong psychological component. Anxiety and fear can make you feel worse.

It's easy to get depressed and look inward. My observations of my husband and being on this site for a few years tell me that being upbeat and positive, keeping a sense of humour and 'getting your head together' will help as will eating a good diet and exercising. My husband doesn't do much of any and not for want of trying on my part. I sometimes think he's his own worst enemy.

Also there's natural aging to consider too. I do not have COPD but went for a short walk yesterday and noticed that I was becoming quite breathless. Normal perhaps for 68 but also because I haven't been able to exercise like I used to because of arthritis in my knees.

What I'm trying to say I suppose is don't let COPD define you . Be challny first and foremost.

Best wishes

Corin