Something which has always puzzled me, about living with COPD, is that my get up and go is so variable.
I lurch between feeling like a soggy dish rag, to full of beans and enthusiasm...
There are days when getting up and dressed, never mind eating breakfast, is almost beyond me...can't breathe without gasping like a fish out of water...showering simply isn't possible...eating such an effort...I drink copious cups of tea on days like those and I'm conscious of Himself looking at me with a worried expression...
I don't do much on those awful days...read a bit...doze...struggle to the bathroom for a wee...
And I'm cross and picky and finding fault with everything. The sitting room is too hot or too cold...my mug of tea doesn't have enough sugar in it...the book I'm reading is blatant rubbish...the dogs barking at the postie drives me crackers...
Then the next day or the day after, I virtually leap off the settee with glee...goody, another day. I have a long shower and get myself dressed and put make-up on and squirt perfume around and spend ages tracking people down on Ancestry and walk round the garden picking Raspberries and throw Millie's ball over and again for her and go to collect my pension from the Post office and have a long chat with Christine behind the cosmetics counter...
If it's a day when Malachi brings more oxygen, we talk about Sunflowers and digging up lawns and keeping goats and dogs that bite...
I do some of my crochet blanket and make a couple of Birthday cards and cook my own supper...and declare the book I'm currently reading to be excellent.
There is no point in planning anything for the following day...it could be a good day...it could just as easily be a totally foul day when all I really want to do is sleep and bitch about everything when I'm awake.
It's one of the major problems I have with living with COPD.
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43 Replies
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So agree Vashti. Good today but what tomorrow brings is another story. Take care x
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Just take it as it comes...we can't do much about it really...lol
Thanks Vashti for putting my mind at ease. I thought it was just me thinking why am I like this today when I was full of life yesterday. Couldn't understand it. I am not on oxygen, and I know the weather sometimes makes a difference, but like you said some days it's as everything is wrong, and you can't be bothered at all. On the plus side I too drink loads of tea, good excuse for doing nothing else.
Hear hear, Vashti. Except I don't have enough of the go, to do the busy good day bits. It is either enough puff to get up and do the sofa bit or just can't stay awake to make getting out of bed worth other people's effort to get me up and dressed.
I know what you mean Vashti, last week by the sea, i felt really well. I walked a long way, albeit it slow and I wasn,t nearly as breathless on slopes and stairs. I have moved from severe to moderate copd, i am not on oxygen, i have not had an infection this year, I think I am better & there isn't much wrong with me.
This week, my legs feel heavy like cement, walking wears me out, i am really tired and out of sorts but I don't know why. I think it is the weather but this sounds a bit weak. Oh well, may all be different tomorrow. I hope we all feel a bit better & more lively. Love Margaret x
Know exactly what you mean, Vashti. I can feel my mood change instantly, get impatient and disinterested in everything and the fatigue that comes with it feels life threatening. I feel like I am trying to do things with a couple of small children dragging at my waist and pulling them along with me. Thank heavens for good days which seem to come along just in the nick of time, Polly x
I honestly do wonder if there is a medical explanation...told my Doctor I get ratty and bad-tempered and he just said it's because of putting up with the illness...but wonder if there's more to it than that.
'Course there is Vashti, lack of oxygen, fatigue, lot of reasons, Mostly I do believe it is the only way we can protest against the status quo. Patience we had by the shed load when we cared for our patients, showed to our children, our own parents too. Ever noticed how people seem to have a personality change when they lose their health and independence? Ratty to downright nasty and belligerent!
I didn't react to irritations before, let alone get so inflamed about trivial things. If they took the letter F out of the alphabet I would be rendered speechless some days.
That is how I try to rationalise it, but others may find better explanations, maybe there is a physiological change that has not been explored though, Polly x
Don't think many people who don't have this condition would understand how frustrating it can be. Some days my list of jobs in my head go no further than cooking a simple meal and washing up. And I don't have to lug the oxygen around as you have to do. I tell my hubby my get up and go has got up and gone. Hope today is a ni ce day for you. Joyce.
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Just noticed your little dog Joyce...very appealing !
I know...my list of things to do is growing longer because I can only cross one item off each day...lol
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Not my dog, my daughters family dog, 6months old now and a massive size, daft as a brush. She barks. When you approach the front door , then backs away when you enter. When she recognises you she jumps up and wants to lick you to death. Your kitty looks gorgeous.
...Your not alone Sunshine ! - life is full of ups and downs AND full of contradictions - whether we are ill or not ! , - its called the Human Experience, BUT , the "Bad " days do make us appreciate MORE - the good ones ! so, good luck ! .....
-- its an English expression Vashti ! , that's all ! ...AND I'ME ITALIAN ! - the peoples of the world do sometimes Share expressions " Sunshine " is pretty universal - just means a friendly way of acknowledging another person , and how warm and pleasant is the sun !! ...a lot of my Indian friends have been using that expression for years ...... and come to think of it, SO DOES MY DOCTOR !!!
You have hit the nail on the head Vashti, or would have done had you got the energy.
I feel exactly the same, today I am having an inbetween day, couldn't rouse this morning and havn't done anything yet except unlock the door and come on here, hope it will improve a bit later, not going to rush it.
Oh so true. I can be half way though a better day and all of a sudden I have fatigue hit me like a tap has let all my energy out my body though my feet.
Good days and bad days that is what COPD and other lung problems are all about it seems. Pete gets nit picky and irritable some days too but I think some of that is to do with the pain he is in from his back. We tend not to plan too much either but just do our best to enjoy each day. Not easy though.
Wishing you well Vashti and hope today is a good day. xxxx
Hi Vashti, seems like you have voiced many of our lives in a nutshell. Its great to know that the see-saw of get up n go is fairly common with us. I get fed up of making arrangements then having to cancel them, just cancelled having a ceiling repaired I had arranged it in November, saved the money, organised to stay in a nice little hotel for 2 nights....?now Im on 4 hrly nebs and having asthma attacks like a have cupsof tea! XX
You might feel a whole lot better in November...why don't you wait and see before scrubbing the whole idea...or just go away to the hotel and forget about the ceiling...lol
I still get a bit like that on the days when there's no sun and too much mist. I used to get it more often, and also suffer from getting bloated like the Michelin man for a couple of days, now and then. That really bothered me because I couldn't think of a reason why, when cutting various things from my food intake didn't seem to have any effect. I asked the doc for her opinion and fortunately she listened and suggested that I could cut my amlopdopine tabs from 10mg to 5mg daily, but in case it was a fluid build up, also try a daily, tiny 2.5 diuretic which is also good for hypertension. Mine was/is called bendroflumethiazide. No more bloated days and the also the misty ones don't drag me down so much. We've none of us got an ology in pharmeceuticals, but it might be worth asking your own doctor's opinion.
Oh, and think of the cranky days as a settling of the scales for having so many carefree days when you were younger !! Keep different books in different parts of the house to enjoy. Cryptic crossword puzzles. Less cups of tea, maybe.
Basta ! My work here is done ! I go to listen to the songs of my people (there's an Irish band playing at a local country show down the road.
My Consultant offered me mild anti-depressants...is that something you'd be willing to try to take the edge off the depression...it's apparently very common with people who have COPD...
Thanks for your response. I do take an antidepressant but I will talk to my doc about a change or increase as it doesn't seem to be helping much. It's strange how I can feel up one day and down,the next.
Thank you for sharing something that I thought just applied to me. On the difficult days, or even sometimes parts of a day, my children tell me I am a wimp and can't understand why I am not able to keep up with them on a walk that only the previous week I had managed quite well. I really did think it was just me, I do try to keep plodding on even though it feels like I have absolutely no energy. On the good side though, I still have many good days or good parts of days, so maybe I overdo things at those times and then struggle more the next day. Who knows? My GP told me that the most frustrating part of the disease is it's unpredictability. Hope everyone has a good day today.
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