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My dad

Kerry42 profile image
31 Replies

Has just been told he got sever emphysema he has been in hospital 6 days now the doctors have told him he will need oxygen at home but he smokes so now they said he can't have it at home he is 71 and I don't think he will give the fags xx

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Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42
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31 Replies

We old dads can be a pain at times, but we must be allowed to make our own choices, quality or quantity. If he has been in hospital for 6 days he can’t have been smoking. If he has then you should point out that it’s up to them to enforce their own rules. When he gets home without any oxygen he will probably suffer somewhat causing him to rethink his habit. Till then try stop worrying, we oldies all have to go some time.

in reply to

Sorry for all my typos Kerry42 , but it was very early in the morning and I think you got my meaning. Steroids are keeping me awake. ☹️

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply to

It's ok don-Rhymer thanks for gettin bk to me means a lot xx

helenlw7 profile image
helenlw7 in reply toKerry42

My dad was a bit of a pain although I loved him to bits! He got round the smoking versus oxygen before he was on it 24/7. He used to leave his oxygen inside and go and sit the garden for a crafty cigarette!

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply tohelenlw7

My dad is on oxygen all the time now helenl7 and I just goin to go with me dad's wishers if he don't want to stop smoking that's up to him x

Mardi profile image
Mardi

Have they suggested nicotine patches to wean him off fags. If they have suggested oxygen he must need it. Can’t lead a horse to water etc. oh dear it is a worry for you.

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply toMardi

Ye I tryed that he really does need the oxygen cos they tryed take it off him yesterday and as soon as he did his oxygen levels went back to 87 again with in 5 mins so doctors told nurse to put him bk on the oxygen x

Mardi profile image
Mardi in reply toKerry42

When I had pneumonia they said you must not have oxygen under 90% or your organs get damaged. Try telling dad this -good luck.

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply toMardi

Hi mardi believe me I have tryed every thing I got copd and emphysema and he seen me in a bad way before I give up the fags 6 weeks ago now my dad said to me yesterday all of my close friends have passed away and I no spring chicken no more I know we will be very lucky if he will be here for Christmas xx

Mardi profile image
Mardi in reply toKerry42

Sorry, you must be young to have copd. He doesn’t sound motivated to survive does he - to me 71 is fairly young but then my dad lived to 97!

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply toMardi

Hi mardi and I know that's what my boyfriend said last night to me I goin bk up to see him soon see if I can change his mind about smoking thanks for goin out of your way to get back to me means a lot xx

Mardi profile image
Mardi in reply toKerry42

No problem replying- that’s what the group is for.

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply toMardi

And I am 42 had copd 5 years now x

peege profile image
peege in reply toKerry42

Good for you in quitting, the best possible thing you could do for your future 👍.

Re your dad, did anyone ask his medics how long he'll last and will he suffer in that time without oxygen, what to expect, who will care for him? 71 is so young. 😢

Ergendl profile image
Ergendl

What a difficult position you're in, Kerry. It's so hard to get someone else to change. At least he's got you there supporting him. While it's right to keep carrying the message about smoking, try not to nag as that won't get you anywhere. Keep on loving him, and if he won't change, allow him that decision.

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply toErgendl

I know what you mean ergendl thank you for getting bk to me means a lot x

sassy59 profile image
sassy59

Oh dear Kerry, dads eh! You’ve had some great replies but in the end it’s your dads choice.

I hope your health isn’t too bad and you’re coping well with your own problems too. Please keep in touch. Xxxx

mumofmums profile image
mumofmums

I dont ken if thing have changed that much my motherin law have the same but she was able to get oxagin home and she smoked

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply tomumofmums

May be but stepping hill where me dad is the doctors have said if he don't stop smoking he can't go home with oxygen

Alfiebax2 profile image
Alfiebax2

All he one he smokes he won't be allowed oxygen as it is a fire risk .He must try to give up as he's only signing his own death warrant otherwise .I as an ex smoker and a heavy one at the end , know how difficult it is to give up but there is help out there .Ask your Dad does he want to die pretty soon , if the answer is no the get himhelp and support to give up the dreaded fags .if I hadn't of given up I certainly wouldn't be talking to you today .

Good luck

Love Babs ❤️

Alfiebax2 profile image
Alfiebax2

Sorry for stupid typos Kerry , I hasten to add I'm 70 years old and I'm waiting to go in to hospital to have LVRS .xx

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply toAlfiebax2

Ye well I hope all goes well for you xx

Alfiebax2 profile image
Alfiebax2 in reply toKerry42

Thank you and keep us informed as regards your Dad .xx

PollyP profile image
PollyP

How about asking him to try a trial of oxygen at home without smoking ?

Ambulatory Oxygen over the last year, has made such a difference to my life, more energy and less organ damage....as did stopping smoking 15 years ago, cold turkey..no regrets.

Your Dad has choice, however if an early death is what he prefers well sorry, so be it .

Look after yourself.

xxx

PollyP

mumofmums profile image
mumofmums

But you dad has been in hosptial for 6 days . He not want a fag . He get home with what he needs.

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply tomumofmums

Yes I know that but he told me as soon as they let him out he havin a fag so he has made his mind up

lKeith profile image
lKeith

Kerry42

Hi read your post regarding your dad & his smoking addiction, I had the same problem, having smoked for 50+ years, the fright of being diagnosed with severe emphysema caused me to stop immediately and without any aids. Tell your dad that if he continues to smoke things will only get worse, lungs don't mend once they are gone or damaged badly they do not recover.

I have searched over the world (by email) ,applied for several trials & attended an NHS treatment at Royal Brompton Hosp & a obtained a 2nd opinion (Privately) and have been rejected by ALL parties as my lungs are well past their sell by date & are in a pityfull state. I didn't listen. Your dad does not want to go thro' this total frustration, even the washing up leaves me totally breathless, stairs ,hills etc the same. I feel utterly useless, I even have to have a carer wash & dress me. Tell him to swallow his pride & get back on the oxygen ASAP after the cigs have gone.

IKeith

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply tolKeith

aww so sorry to here that and I have told him fingers crossed he stops x

lKeith profile image
lKeith

Kerry42

Hi, frighten the living daylight out of him, he WILL deteriorate far quicker if he persists with the cigs.

IKeith

Dragonmum profile image
Dragonmum

Get him an e-cig Kerry - I packed in overnight and i WAS A VERY HEAVY SMOKER. That was 2010 and never smoked since and don't want to. Agree with all that has been said about it being his choice, but maybe he's never tried a good vape. Just a thought.

Kerry42 profile image
Kerry42 in reply toDragonmum

Thanks x

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