“For some affirmations are more effective than guided imagery”

Here a few chosen ones to help me through today.. I hope they can be relevant to you..

youtube.com/watch?v=VCLLQ1G...(Not working as expected?)

Or Create 3 “I am mantras” you would like to use today..

youtu.be/VtlBnmD0kT8(Not working as expected?)

Have a good day xx

Fran

[knitter]

Thank you, my thoughts are with you today.

[Hidden in reply to knitter]

Thank you Knitter it was a lovely ceremony which reconciled me with this world. Xx

[breatheeasy1]

Good morning Fran, I hope yesterday wasn't too bad for you in the end. Thank you for the beautiful picture and meditations. Even we had snow yesterday which was unexpected and nice for the girls. I'm thinking of you today 💞

[Hidden in reply to breatheeasy1]

Hi Anne, snow here too but roads were ok as we had to go to the funeral parlour and the nursing home. The ceremony went well, I was glad the whole family was present to say their goodbyes to Dad.

Have a good night xx

Fran

[Yatzy in reply to breatheeasy1]

And we’re thinking of you, too, Anne. Hoping things are progressing as well as can be expected for you since the latest treatment. Big hug 💕xx

[breatheeasy1 in reply to Yatzy]

Hi no things not good I'm afraid. The chemo on Wednesday was a new 'cocktail' and it backfired so, after one day at home, I'm back in hospital very poorly. I hoped they'd let me out today but doesn't look like it. I'll Do a proper update when I'm feeling a bit better. Hope you had a good Christmas though, and that you have a Happy New Year. Thanks for thinking of me and for the hugs 💕💕

[Yatzy in reply to breatheeasy1]

Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear that. What bad luck, for you and for the girls! Time passing seems to provide some help, at least, with chemo so hopefully a bit better each day? Poor, poor you 💕 And at Christmas holiday time too!

Christmas has been busy here, as we like it, but house quiet again and realising I’m very tired for now. We’re having boiler trouble too now as well....plumber has sorted for now but left a list of jobs to be sorted in the longer term 😨. So glad it kept going while we had a house full.

I do so hope you’ll be feeling stronger again soon, Anne, and back home again with your girls, though if you’re the only adult there it must be a challenge for you.

Another gentle hug 💕 love and very best wishes, Penny xx

[breatheeasy1 in reply to Yatzy]

Hi Penny yes it's been tough especially with the christmas holidays! I'm glad you've had a busy Christmas, but sorry to hear about the boiler...what a pain, I hope not an expensive one.

I have admitted defeat for the meantime and am happy to stay in hospital where they want me. At least ill be in the middle of the action for New Years Eve 😂.

Have a great weekend ❤❤ Anne xx

[Yatzy in reply to breatheeasy1]

I’m so sorry, Anne. You must have had an almighty reaction to the chemo....poor, poor you. How are you coping with finding care for the girls?? I suppose if they’re safe, you might as well lie back and enjoy (?) the rest as far as poss. I had a baby once early on New Year’s Day.....the celebrations were a distraction, I suppose, though I wasn’t sure the registrar who was sent to put my stitches in was sober!! Designer stubble way before it was fashionable 😂😂 and with my sweaty hairdo, they wanted a picture of me in the local paper!! Those were the days....hope that’s given you a smile! The baby will be 47 on Monday!!! No wonder I’m tired! Take care, Anne, 💝 xxx

[breatheeasy1 in reply to Yatzy]

😂A New Years baby, how lovely! Though I don't think I'd appreciate the photos😂

The girls are sorted short term and I'll be working on some longer term support when I'm out of hospital. One day at time eh x👍

[Hidden in reply to breatheeasy1]

Oh sweet Anne so sorry!!! Hope they are taking good care of you in hospital.

Thinking of you 💐💖

Fran

[breatheeasy1 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Fran, they are doing their best...😉

[skischool]

Happy,although it sounds strange,today you must wear a happy smile for Dad,he would want that,and you and Bea must support each other,i am putting a Guinness in the fridge for when you get home...........skis and scruffy xxx

[Hidden in reply to skischool]

😉😘🤗 It went very well, the ceremony was lovely.

We had chosen Rachmaninov by David Oistrakh for the violin to enter the room, it killed me it was so beautiful.

Then the gentleman from the parlour spoke and I had chosen Susanne by Leonard Cohen, All Dad’s favourites.

It was my turn to speak and I did it in French and English for our English family.

Afterwards we had When I am 64, and my brother’s turn to speak, a great speech, followed by Joan Baez We shall overcome and my young brother spoke very well but he was crying so much it was very hard. Finally we had Dad’s favourite of all times C’est pour mon Papa by George Milton and old fashioned song of his childhood.

We all piled up into cars to go up the mountain to the Home.

They had a lovely spread, we got a chance to thank nurses and doctors, exchange with residents.

So nice to reconnect with my cousins from everywhere..

Then we went home and settled business nicely. I said to my brothers we leave the kids in front of the telly and we go to a café to sort everything out amongst us. And it went very well.

I am so glad.

I think Dad would have been happy and proud.

I am now shattered 😃

Good night Mike. Thank you for your support during those hard times xx

Fran

[skischool in reply to Hidden]

Well my happy friend,i knew things would go well today because Dad planned it to be a happy and joyous occasion in celebration of his life.Now you and Bea need to sit back and relax knowing you have done all and more than Dad wished and you should be proud of yourselves.................love and best wishes Skis and Scruffy xxx

[Hidden in reply to skischool]

Thanks Skischool and Scruffynounette xx

[Yatzy in reply to Hidden]

So glad things went well for you and your family, Fran. I’ve been thinking of you. You can settle, now the funeral has happened, into life without your dear Dad, but knowing your life with him was good. Treasure the memories, he’ll always be there, and maybe a part of judgements you make along life’s path.

Take care, Penny xx

[Hidden in reply to Yatzy]

Thanks Penny..how are you? Not overtired I hope!

Well here they have all gone now!! I have just taken my middle brother to the station so he catches the plane to Singapore..the youngest left with his family after lunch with a car full of silver plated cutlery lol. His wife is very materialistic. It made me laugh honestly. I gave them what they wanted but I said you share souvenirs with your brother. I gave them one of Dad’s watches each. I tried to be fair. For the paintings I said you will wait I am not going to live in a living-room with naked walls!

So as much as I love them it wore me out! I’d rather watch 102 Dalmatians right now having a laugh laying on my sofa..

Bea is sleeping..she has been so helpful but it looks like the shingles pain has come back with a vengeance of course there is nobody around..all closed until the 3rd here..she doesn’t want to see yet another doctor..

We’ll see because tomorrow her best friend, husband, two kids and grandmother are arriving from England for 31st and 1st..It was all organised before Dad got poorly, now it seems too much but I didn’t want to ruin their New Year and it may be the best remedy for us all..

I have to pick up the order from the patisserie at 10 am, I couldn’t be bothered baking and making sandwiches this year..

So that’s the news from Switzerland..

Take good care xx

Fran

[Yatzy in reply to Hidden]

Hi Fran

Yes, very overtired, I’m afraid....I’ve awarded myself a comfy day in bed, reading and watching tv....just watched Mansfield Park - good but got a bit distracted by Hugh Bonneville’s younger self - he didn’t look like Downton material then!!

So glad the family have finally left, with their goodies...always good to have your home back to yourself for a while. In some ways a pity about the next batch but I think you’re right that they just might be what will help for this New Year.

Some sort of health/emotional come down is to be expected for you and Bea, so take care, both. Poor Bea and her shingles were a sitting target I suppose. Hope she has enough medication to take her into the new year. And keep taking yours carefully yourself....!! The patisserie order sounds a good idea , and very tasty too....Swiss patisseriesounds good, whatever! Welsh cakes is all that’s available here😂😂 excuse the typos, difficult to correct on this site.

Happy New Year to you and Bea 💕💐💕 Penny xx

[Hidden in reply to Yatzy]

Enjoy your day in bed!!! Yes he looked better as he matured😉

Bea just puts an ice pack and takes ibruprofen there is not much one can do I think..

I had a chat with Dad’s pulmonologist at the luncheon. He came to pay his respects. We talk about Dad of course then he asked me how stable was my LAM. I said stable enough. He said it rarely degenerates rapidly at your age, most LAM patients die of something else!! I mean honestly did I want to talk about that?? 😃

Still it is not often you get to talk to a consultant so I said like what, he said heart problems, make an appointment at the cardiologist..so I will ask for a referral..I’m not going to worry about it now, it is hardly surprising when you think about it..

Have a good evening 🌻🦋🌈

Fran

[Yatzy in reply to Hidden]

Hi Fran again. I’ll just say....do consult a heart specialist to broaden the picture, but don’t worry meanwhile. These predictions are always interesting but I’m old enough to have heard GPS/consultants staking bets on likely health outcomes many times, often when life insurance is being applied for. My own father had several competing illnesses, all of which could prove fatal, and he died of old age in the end, with attendant doctors sticking a pin in his health records, to choose what went on the death certificate. I did learn over the years though that your own good, regular maintenance care was invaluable, led largely by our own informed instincts. Hospital staff/consultants often get side tracked on their own specialisms and are not always good at seeing the whole picture! You have to try to do that yourself. Just thought I’d say....I’ll get back to my books now! Enjoy a peaceful evening, Fran 🧘‍♂️🌸 xx

[Hidden in reply to Yatzy]

Very true Penny!! Enjoy your reading xx

[Annie31]

You don't know me Fran but I have been reading your posts over the last few weeks and taking in your photos and comments about your Dad and your life. I am very happy for you that everything worked out for you today despite your worries, in that you were able to celebrate your Dad's life in such a positive way and everything came together for you and your daughter.

I was not so lucky where my father was concerned. My stepmother and her son took over and conducted a ceremony that I knew my Dad didn't want and never planned. Nevertheless I was forced to go along with it. I look back and think I was weak but I was dealing with a sick husband flat on his back in bed for six months, a mother of four children with the youngest having special needs - I didn't have the energy to deal with it or them. I forever have had this feeling of gui!t that I let him down. You have been so strong and dedicated to his well being. My father's death came as such a shock, he had a heart attack at 5 am and by teatime the same day he was gone, but according to the nurse attending him at the time of his passing he was talking about me and what he and I used to do as a child. This has been my solace. He passed with my name on his lips. My stepmother disowned me and my children shortly after his death, after seventeen years of marriage - apparently I found out after she had done this twice before with two other marriages! She then went on to send me a poison-pen letter claiming that my father never loved me, which did indeed plant the seed of doubt which I now live with.

You have been a,wonderful daughter by all accounts and I am so happy you can hold your head high and know that you did the very best for him and were there for him. He will know that. xx

[Hidden in reply to Annie31]

Hello Annie

I am so sorry you have been through this, your stepmother sounds like a black widow. Strangely enough my stepmother died before Dad. If not I think I would have been in your shoes.

She had been unkind to me for 54 years and died 20mn into my birthday. Then on her deathbed apparently said to the lady who had been taking care of her, tell Fran I am sorry I have been unkind to her. Just like that..oh I knew she had had an unhappy childhood and I had often explained her actions that way.

She liked one of my brothers but in a perverse kind of way and the other, her own son, she was unable to love like a mother. In fact she died of a cancer of the colon then the liver over 2 or 3 years and I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.

Yesterday I was looking at the boys at the ceremony struggling with the death of their father, looking at their children, Dad’s grandchildren, while I was doing my speech and I thought I had attempted to recreate harmony among the family since her death and I would continue to do so because I didn’t want that rancour to contaminate the next generation.

Somehow yesterday was the end of something past and the beginning of something new. There was a lot of love in that room.

I hope you can find it in your heart not to forgive but to put it on one side so that the memory of your father helps you to live your life peacefully and if she is a criminal let the law sort it out.

Lots of love xx

Fran

[Lyd12]

There is a poem - Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there, I do not sleep...

Lovely words, by Elizabeth Frye I believe.

Your Dad would have wished this.

[Hidden in reply to Lyd12]

Thank you so much xx