Back trouble.

We write about all sorts of ails

But one I've never read.

When I wake up each morning.

My back sticks to the bed.

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My back too oh mighty bard

I think I smeared it with LARD!

But breakfast calls

with coffee steaming,

I only hope it has some cream in.

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I sounds to me from what you wrote,

A partner you have got.

If I smelt coffee from my bed

I'd be down there like a shot.

It would mean without a doubt

Something rather dire.

The only thing that would cause that

MY KITCHEN IS ON FIRE!!