My Friend

[PteW43]

Morning everyone - It's raining here in the NW but hey ho. How I count my lucky stars... I'm waiting for lunch time to be over at a local care home to go pick up my childhood friend who was moved there 2/3 weeks ago. I'm taking her to see my 90 year old Mother, who, use to work with her Mum. X was diagnosed with dementia a couple of years ago and now can no longer manage herself or her sheltered housing home, hence the continuing care home. I know most of us can tell a heartrending story about a loved one with this terrible disease, I have worked in the care sector most of my working life. Having had a small care home, my heart always went out to the 'carers' of a loved one with this condition. They save this country a fortune and many a time at a cost to their own health.

So, when I get a bit down, and I do with a flare up of copd, I try hard to think of others with this disease. After my flareup I can dust myself down, get dressed up, get out on my own wherever I want and make my own discisions.

On a brighter note, for now, we still have the funside of our friendship as my friend can still remember, to my shame (well a little) us going 'scrumping' in the local church grounds for apples lol. We have many a laugh about other 'mischievous' little things we got up too. Granted, these are repeatedly mentioned but who cares, as long as she is laughing.

Catch you all later. Take care of you.

[Carnival567]

Hope you have a good day with lots of laughs! Raining here in the SW too!

[PteW43 in reply to Carnival567]

We will Carnival ty so much for your reply. It's not so cold though.

[mrsmummy]

A lovely, uplifting post. Have a great day with your friend.

[skischool]

your dear friend is very fortunate to have a friend like you,carry not shame for scrumping as it was a rite of passage when we were kids as was the gathering of conkers and the making of contraptions with old pram wheels.long may you make your friend laugh and laugh together......................love skis and scruffy cat x

[sassy59]

Enjoy the time spent with your dear friend. Petes mum has dementia and is now in a home. It’s such a cruel disease.

Wishing you well. Xxxx

[PteW43]

Thank you all so much had a lovely aft with my friend. Love n best wishes to u all. It's good night from me n nite nite from her. x

[joyce74]

I always think that by showing kindness to others or even a smile can help yourself. Glad you had a nice time with your friend.

[PteW43 in reply to joyce74]

Thank you Joyce. My friend helps me more than she will ever know now. I can't talk anything over with her anymore n I miss that but she is still here to have a laugh with. Take care.

[joyce74 in reply to PteW43]

I had a neighbour with the same condition who used to knock on our door some mornings when she was on her own after her son left for work. It was a shame thinking how fit and independent she had been, enjoying holidays abroad and dancing I used to pop in and see her. She ended up in a nursing home and I visited her a few times and she thought she could come home with me

.

[PteW43 in reply to joyce74]

We can only ever do our best to do what we can. Problem is caring for soneone with any life threatening condition is more differcult when the carer is older and has their own health issues. All carers deserve medals.

[Lyd12]

I believe Ronald Reagan had dementia, I seem to remember Nancy Reagan describing it it as "the long goodbye". That seems so apt.

[PteW43 in reply to Lyd12]

Yes Lyd I've heard that term too. I watched my friend put her coat on yes.day n she just couldn't way up how to fasten it. My heart broke for her I had to blink away tears... I never jump to do anything for her allowing her time n patience (as long as it's safe to do so). Then I'll always ask if she wants a hand 'left or right?' We giggle, she forgets it in seconds, I'm reminded again how it's going!

[Lyd12 in reply to PteW43]

My mum spent her last two years or so in a nursing home and she was becoming more and more confused. I dreaded the day I might visit and she wouldn't know me. I went in one day and she said - "do I know you, are you my sister-in-law? " I laughed and said "do you have any children, Mum?"

She laughed and said "Yes, you!" She was triumphant that she had got it right. Many years ago now but still saddens me.

[joyce74]

My next door heighbour once knocked holding a pair of tights and asked if I would put them on which I did . 10 minutes she knocked with them I her hand and asked would I put them on again which of course I didn't comment on when I did it. Another time she dialled 999 and told police her sister had locked her in the house before going to work. When they arrived she was stood outside. She had no siblings left and she got quite upset at times that her mother and sisters were neglecting to keep in tough . It is so sad.

[Caspiana]

Hello PteW43 .

Your post touched my heart. I know what its like to care for someone with dementia. Its really gut wrenching but at the same time the occasional few minutes of lucidity were like little treasure troves of beautiful memories. I hope you have a marvellous day with your dear friend.

Sending happy thoughts.

Cas xx 🌞