Ode to a SatNav

[Offcut]

I have a little Satnav

It sits there in my car

A Satnav is a driver's friend

It tells you where you are

I have a little Satnav

I've had it all my life

It's better than the normal ones

My Satnav is my wife

It gives me full instructions

Especially how to drive

"It's thirty miles an hour", it says

"You're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start

And when to use the brake

And tells me that it's never safe

To make that overtake

It tells me when a light is red

And when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively

Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front

And all those to the rear

And taking this into account

It specifies my gear

I'm sure no other driver

Has so helpful a device

For when we leave and lock the car

It still gives its advice

It fills me up with counseling

Each journey's pretty fraught

So why don't I exchange it

And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,

Makes sure I'm properly fed,

It washes all my shirts and things

And keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all of these advantages

And my tendency to scoff,

I only wish that now and then

I could turn the bugger off.!!

~~~~~~~~ END ~~~~~~~~~

[Hidden]

You should patent it!

[Tee1008]

Hahaha...good start to the day! Happy Christmas to Mrs O and I hope she keeps up the good work!!

[Pam1952]

That is brilliant! 😂😂😂 XXX

[Damon1864 Volunteer]

It sounds like my husband talking about me. Like it 😊 xxx

[Caspiana]

Hahahaha. Well done Offcut. 😊

[mmzetor]

pmsl laughing I got one of them too I been trying to find the mute button for last 14 years no luck yet ,

[onamission in reply to mmzetor]

we don't come with mute button we come with a fully functioning brain 😆

[mmzetor in reply to onamission]

yea pity the brain don't tell the mouth to stop moving

[onamission in reply to mmzetor]

😆 you are really making the most of this season good will to all men

[Jessy11]

Brilliant! My husband says all these things! I really don't know how he thinks he can manage without me to supervise his driving! After all, I've had 46 years experience!! 😜😂😂

[Lyd12]

No Christmas specials for you men, you've been and gorn and done it now, serves you right

Good rhyme, hope your wife retaliates!

[Watfordgirl]

That's brilliant! Thank you 😊. Have a happy Christmas and don't even think of turning the volume down. Sue x

[Jaynair]

Hahahaha love it! Sounds just like me😀x

[nancye]

Very clever. My husband has always had a similar system. Recently. with the purchase of a new car with every available "driver assist" feature, his old (actually quite old) system can relax just a bit as the car is quite capable of detecting all sorts of driver mistakes and sending out warnings or in some cases braking by itself. And best, it can read the speed limit signs and posts them in a very convenient location for the passenger to monitor, in white that turns red when the limit is exceeded! I will admit husband has looked for a way to turn this off.

[PenelopeS]

Brilliant xxx

[RibvanRey]

Brilliant. 😂

[onamission]

Hi Offcutt great to see you hope you and the family are well and you all have a good Christmas 🎅

[Bagpuss1972]

Love it x

[Magpuss]

Brilliant! Love it!😂😂😂

[silverhair01983]

I have one like yours had it for 50 years and stil can't find the off button thanks offcut brilliant can't stop laughing