How To Have The Perfect Christmas...P... - Lung Conditions C...

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How To Have The Perfect Christmas...Pretend It Isn't Happening...

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Suppose the only way to avoid Christmas is to travel somewhere exceedingly remote...Siberia perhaps...don't think you'd be swamped with displays of highly over-priced fancy tins of biscuits or pots of Stilton out on the steppes.

I have to confess to being totally bewildered by the sheer amount of stuff which is deemed to be essential for the average family...it does rather get rammed down your throat.

And I say...to anyone willing to listen...that if you're celebrating the birth of Christ you've got it all wrong 'cos he wasn't born in December anyway. They regard me with horror, so I don't say it anymore.

Magazines are stuffed to the hilt with ideas for decorating 'the perfect table'...count down menus, so you don't forget to put the Brussels Sprouts on or add a glassful of Port to the gravy...made with the Turkey giblets naturally. Sticking a sprig of berried Holly through the napkin rings...polishing the wine glasses...ye gods.

Wrapping an individual small gift for each person at the table...what do you do about your own small gift? No fun opening that when you're the one who bought and wrapped it now is there...ooh look, you exclaim...a bar of soap!

There's stuff you simply have to do...Midnight Mass is one...not in any old church...in a small country church lit by candles with plenty of snow on the ground and a cheery Vicar leading the choir in singing O Little Town of Bethlehem...all in perfect harmony of course. St Stephens Day means a brisk walk in the woods, then home, for left-over Turkey made into some sort of hash with cold sprouts and a jar of Cranberry jelly 'cos with all the cooking and wrapping of presents you've not had the inclination to make your own...always supposing you could find them in the freezer in the first place.

Now, call it a Mid-Winter celebration and I'm all ears...I'll happily fill an earthenware jug with Holly and cook a special meal in honour of the lighter days and Spring on its way...it's the Christmas bit I have a problem with.

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58 Replies
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Minushabens profile image
Minushabens

Siberia...well actually I'd love that but being on a budget we always go out for a curry to avoid the nonsense. Luckily me, my wife, our kids & their partners are all Republicans so anyone wanting to watch the Queen would spend Boxing Day down at Housing Needs looking for somewhere else to live :D

Anyway, although I don't totally ignore it I have found that low profile & meaningful trumps ostentatious and overwhelming every time.

And of course Boxing Day can mean only one thing.

FOOTBALL!!!!

Minushabens profile image
Minushabens

I love Boxing Day matches. Until full-time anyway. Then I'm usually depressed.

Toci profile image
Toci

We tried Egypt for several years and it worked well. Sitting by the pool in a swimsuit sipping celebratory drinks did it for me. Buy and wrap the presents, distribute and leave the country - no food shopping, no cooking, bliss.Not safe these days though.

velvet55 profile image
velvet55β€’ in reply toToci

Hi Toci

I always fancied going away for Christmas, then l change my mind as l like to see all the family.

Perhaps one day !

Velvet xx

Toci profile image
Tociβ€’ in reply tovelvet55

We are lucky in that our family live quite close so we see them regularly and always got back for the New Year anyway. :)

mmzetor profile image
mmzetorβ€’ in reply tovelvet55

velvet I thought you would do one of them tinsel and turkey holidays that the old people go on over Christmas

velvet55 profile image
velvet55β€’ in reply tommzetor

Hi mm

They don't allow 19 year olds !!

Velvet xx

mmzetor profile image
mmzetorβ€’ in reply tovelvet55

ha ha you wish

mskpjb profile image
mskpjbβ€’ in reply toToci

Egypt now that`s exotic Toci. I`m going away for Christmas for the very first time. Must admit I`m a little anxious about travelling from Cumbria to Hatfield by train dragging an oxygen trolley as well as a suitcase. Change at Lancaster, change at Euston, change at Watford ........ ! Everyone says that National Rail give excellent assisstance. I certainly hope so, Sheila x

Toci profile image
Tociβ€’ in reply tomskpjb

I hope you have a great time.

mskpjb profile image
mskpjbβ€’ in reply toToci

Thanks Toci and hufferpuffer. I`ve just booked my ticket and reserved seats and assistance. Transpennine and Virgin Trains were okay about the oxygen but the young chappie on the phone was ages dealing with London Midland ( that`s the bit from Euston to Watford) but after a lot of discussion they said okay. I wonder how people wanting to use the underground get if they`re on oxygen? Keep well both, Sheila x

Toci profile image
Tociβ€’ in reply tomskpjb

I am glad that making the arrangements did not put you off and making them ahead of time is good. I tend not to think of things like that, set off doing something or to go somewhere and have to deal with things as they crop up. Getting very absent-minded, lol.

mskpjb profile image
mskpjbβ€’ in reply toToci

Toci aren`t we all ! My biggest problem now is staying clear of hospital. It`s quite a habit with me to be in during November and December- and I mean both with just a few days at home inbetween. Sheila x

Toci profile image
Tociβ€’ in reply tomskpjb

Good luck in staying hospital free for the rest of the year. :)

Pollee profile image
Polleeβ€’ in reply tomskpjb

Hi mskpjb, I don't usually post on here, but just wanted to tell you and anyone else interested that travelling around using trains and the underground while dragging along an o2 machine is ok if you take it easy and pace yourself. This summer I travelled from home by train and got across London on the underground to get the eurostar train to Paris for a few days. I wasn't going to attempt it, but feeling brave, even managed the Paris metro. It was a real achievement and I was quite exhausted most of the time. Plan carefully for each stage so you don't run out of o2. Know where the lifts are and find out if you can plug your oxygen machine into a train or bus when you book your tickets so you get the right seat. Apart from the obvious try to travel light and keep your purse round your neck so you can easily find tickets, money and phone. Good luck and have fun. xxx Polly C.

mskpjb profile image
mskpjbβ€’ in reply toPollee

Thanks for that good advice Polly. I`m getting Passenger Assistance so hopefully I won`t have too much trouble. Sheila xx

hufferpuffer profile image
hufferpufferβ€’ in reply tomskpjb

Sheila have a truly fabulous time!!!😁 how exciting , I'd love to be more adventurous! πŸ’œπŸ˜Š huff xxx

redted profile image
redted

Got to admit we don't bother with all the fuss now days, we just do what we want when we want,and only buy what food we will eat,as we have wasted so much over the yrs,there is just the two of us, nice.

Jessy11 profile image
Jessy11

Hi Vashti, I love Christmas! It's so special with my grandchildren coming for dinner on Christmas Day.

Some of my family stay here for the whole Christmas & New Year holidays. It's lovely & noisy!

We are a very close family & we have such fun & laughter when we're all together.

We have the traditional Christmas dinner with crackers!

The rest of the time it's just what ever we fancy to eat. There's lots of chat, laughs & love.

I can't wait! πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ„

velvet55 profile image
velvet55β€’ in reply toJessy11

Hello Jessy

Hear, Hear

I love Christmas, and all that it entails.

The only thing l dislike is the shops and media start it to early....

I decorate the tree and house no earlier than 2 weeks before hand, l would do it the week before if it wasn't for the Grandchildren.

Velvet xx

mmzetor profile image
mmzetorβ€’ in reply toJessy11

its the cost I don't like

Jessy11 profile image
Jessy11β€’ in reply tommzetor

Yes Malcolm, it's very expensive! I'm quite used to it though!

Well worth the time, effort & expense to see the looks of happiness on the faces of my wonderful family!

Take care 🌾

Well I only have 3 sisters and a nephew since my parents have gone. My eldest sister is a recluse and doesn't celebrate anything, my youngest sister has made it very clear she and her family don't want me there, I usually spend it with my middle sister and her bf, that's not much fun but marginally better than being on my own. None of my friends (who all have family) even go to the pub at all at Christmas now and my only friend that did moved 8 years ago :( All my darts nights out are cancelled so I am stuck in even more. I dread Christmas now. x

NgaireM profile image
NgaireMβ€’ in reply to

Hi, due to all my children having Christmas with their in laws, my hubby and I are having the main meal on our own this year. Because it is usually hot here, we are indulging in a crayfish and to hell with the kids! Sad state of affairs - makes you wonder why we bothered to establish our traditions for all those years.

Ngaire xx

β€’ in reply toNgaireM

Ooh I love crayfish too! Which part of Aus.do you live in?

Why don't the kids do alternate Xmas? With one lot having it with you anyway,& the other having it next year with you?

I do know a lot of people having probs.with this,which is a bit sad! But unfortunately a sign of the times I guess.

My mob,take it in turns to have a family lunch,& then have a Xmas tea,with the inlaws,so far anyway,everyone seems happy with that!

Everyone brings something,they do a menu beforehand,& then they all decide whom is bringing what!

Being hot weather,mainly a variety of salads,ham,prawns etc.& the odd hot stuff,done on the bbq.

Anyway,enjoy the crayfish,& don't fret,it's only one day of the year!

Hugs,Wendells xxx

NgaireM profile image
NgaireMβ€’ in reply to

Hi Wendells I live in Melbourne. I have always had problems with my youngest son's wife - she is Sri Lankan, very beautiful and a more self obsessed, manipulative and judgemental person you will never find. I have COPD, kidney cancer and depression - all of which are my own fault because I used to smoke (according to her) so I just keep away. I have seen my son for 3 hours in the last year which is her doing, but he could try a bit harder if he really wanted to. My daughter has family reunion for her Kiwi hubby, so NO hard feelings and next year will be fine. My other son is visiting his daughter in country Victoria and again, NOT his fault - he is divorced.

So bring on the crayfish and heave out the self-pity - there are other days πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

Ngaire xx

β€’ in reply toNgaireM

Oh Ngaire that is sad,obviously a beautiful woman on the outside,but ugly inside!😑

How dare she put down your illness to past smoking,what a hide,you are Deffo better off not seeing her!!

We live on the Gold Coast,have done for the past 20 years,& love it,except when the humidity kicks in,in the summer.

We previously lived in Heidelberg,for quite some years.Moved up here with one adult child,& they all followed in less than 12 months!All married with kids,bar one daughter whom has a long term partner,but does not want any babies!

I do hope your kidney cancer is being treated successfully,you have a lot to cope with,so good luck with everythingπŸ˜€

Hugs Wendells xxxx

Jessy11 profile image
Jessy11β€’ in reply to

Oh Cal, what a shame for you! You are welcome to come to mine anytime! Hopefully this year you will spend a lovely Christmas with your middle sister.

My sister & her husband are also coming to spend Christmas with us. I wouldn't be able to manage all the preparation & cooking myself but my girls do everything!

It will be a noisy, happy & busy time!

Take care 🌹

We're having one christmas on the 4/6 December I seem to always be really ill over Xmas and new year, shops to full of people coughing and I catch one bug or other, so we found doing it early gave us two goes at it , it all so spreads the cost half the family a month early , so we start buying in August then kids go off and do partners family on xmas day, and Xmas is quite and selfishly spent in pjs eating whatever, and don't have to worry if I'm spoiling it for guests , last year conjunctivitis and steroids made me look like mrs hulk ,it was horrible I couldn't face me x and yes I agree Jesus wasn't born in December and Santa defiantly wasn't in the stable x

Swerv profile image
Swerv

Hi Vashti, could not agree more. I hate xmas and have done so as long as i can remember. I have found the whole thing to be false and just a means for people to make money. Many years ago i stopped sending xmas cards and stopped buying presents, it took a while but eventually people got the message and i have not had a card or a present since...and don't want.

The annoying thing is i live in a country which is predominantly Buddhism, yet i know that within days i will walk into my local Tesco to be greeted by a huge Santa, a Xmas tree and xmas carols belting out on the speaker system.

Makes my teeth itch.

Merv

velvet55 profile image
velvet55β€’ in reply toSwerv

Hi Merv

Bah Humbug !!

Velvet xx

Swerv profile image
Swervβ€’ in reply tovelvet55

I know, but i just hate it.

Got a good excuse this year as i am having a follow up spirometry test at 2pm on xmas day. Perfect timing.

Merv

This is going to sound so selfish, but hey, I am. After a lifetime of buying presents, doing a birthday party on Christmas Eve for my son, Christmas dinners and all the detritus - I now live alone, with just my little dog. For several years I had Christmas Day to myself and my daughter, her partner, my grandaughter and her partner's two children descended on me for Boxing Day.

The last two years my sister has insisted that I go to their house in Hampshire for the main few days. This means creeping across the landing to the bathroom in the night when I have my own ensuite at home and for two years coming home with a virus in full blow from her grandchildren.

So, my daughter announces they are going to Dubai this Christmas, My son lives in Southampton with four children and they always have my daughter in law's Father.

Yippee! M&S here I come! nice little box dinner, several small bottles of fizz and other twee foody goodies just for me. The prospect of me, the dog and endless TV was becoming a delicious possibility.

So What Happens?

My theatre buddy insists that I join her family for Christmas Day as I will lift the cloy of her whole family being trapped together in the house for the day.

At least four other friends have asked me to join them and their families.

My Son's wife called-the children would love me to come down to be with them this year.

My daughter has decided not to go to Dubai and can they come for Boxing Day!

I see my lovely, warm, selfish Christmas fading into the usual social struggle and domestic drudgery. AAAAGH!

I should be so lucky for having such loving and kind friends!

velvet55 profile image
velvet55β€’ in reply to

Hi SS

I am sorry to hear you can't have your perfect Christmas Day, but it's nice to feel wanted.

If they all decend on you over Christmas, l would ask them to help out with all the chores....many hands comes to mind.

Then plan your treat for when they all go home....

Record all the programmes you like to watch over Christmas.

Go to M&S ....get all the goodies and treats you could possibly eat and drink, for at least 2 days.

Put your PJs on, grab a snuggle blanket and the remote, take the phone off the hook, retire to the sofa, and enjoy the Peace !!

Velvet xx LP

β€’ in reply tovelvet55

Yes Velvet, cosy advice. Actually I am very spoilt because I only have myself (and his lordship the pomeranian) to please on a daily basis. To be honest that can get lonely at times and it is nice to discover that people do want to be with me. Guess the SKY recorder is going to be working overtime.

velvet55 profile image
velvet55β€’ in reply to

Hi SS

Whatever you choose to do l am sure you will enjoy yourself.

And when you finally get on your sofa make sure you leave room for your Lordship !!

Velvet xx

mmzetor profile image
mmzetorβ€’ in reply to

when I split from my first wife I was invited to go to my parents for Christmas day as they didn't want me to be on my own on the first Christmas my sister and her husband was going too I was only going for the day I lived 10 miles away so had to drive so couldn't have a drink we had a nice lunch then they all sat there watching a film all afternoon that I didn't like nobody spoke because the film was on by 4 o clock I said I better go as the dog was on his own and would need a walk I had a lovely evening at home just the dog and I , I had a load of nibbles in had a few drinks and watched what I liked on tv , I got invited back new years day but said I was going out new years eve drinking and probably wouldn't get home till late so wouldn't be able to drive next morning ,

β€’ in reply tommzetor

oh the darling doggies. They make fabulous 'occasion' companions. Much as I love my friend for inviting me on Christmas Day, I shall have to leave in a decent time because I don't want to leave Twinkle on his own too long. Then he and I will enjoy our Christmas.

Azure_Sky profile image
Azure_Sky

If I had a home big enough I would love to be able to have a family dinner with all the trimmings. Cooking doesn't bother me. I would enjoy decorating with a tree, garlands and the rest of it. Laying a festive table with a candelit centrepiece, beautifully folded red napkins. Shining glass and silverware, damask tablecloth.

Who am I trying to kid! I would be too tired to do it these days.

My husband looks forward to his turkey dinner with all the trimmings. We have a turkey crown nowadays. He doesn't like Christmas pudding and I can't eat it. Can't have mince pies either. My stomach has been playing up more than usual lately, so I am being extra careful. I can't even have any more of my lovely lemon drizzle cake as it made me ill.

George will get a stocking and a turkey dinner. My husband and I will visit the grandchildren in the morning. Then come home and cook dinner before relaxing in the afternoon. Then weather permitting, off to the park for a walk. I used to go to Midnight Mass for years. Now I am no longer involved with organised religion. I have some CD's with Christmas Carols which I play on Christmas Day. That is about it.

knitter profile image
knitter

Hi Vashti, one year I threw a mardy and refused to do Christmas, so I bought no presents, no food, there were no decorations or tree.

I was so fed up with doing it all.....so my husband and one daughter ended up buying instant curries from the supermarket...opened the car boot to find it full of recycling that I had not done. The air was blue..

But Christmas Day was so boring ...I never did it again.

starveycat profile image
starveycat

In our home we call it stuff your face day :-) :-) :-)

velvet55 profile image
velvet55β€’ in reply tostarveycat

Hi starveycat

Love it...same at our house.

Velvet xx

Thankyou vashti, and a jolly good ho ho morning to you. You have given me my first chuckle of the day. Commercialism is doing a great job of hypnotising the masses with lavish displays pressing you to spend spend spend on gifts you would not like to receive yourself, huge amounts of food that will be wasted and someone jungling a collecting box every 5 yards.. I won't be joining, or dragging someone off the streets to eat at my table for a few hours to salve my " Christian" conscience. " "Finished? Right - off you go". Sad sad and more sad.

p.s. make sure you take the Holly berries off for the blackbirds before you put the twigs in your earthenware jug on your family sized old pine table in your rustic kitchen:-)

sassy59 profile image
sassy59

I did smile as I do agree with your post Vashti. We do not go to Church so midnight mass is out, according to media you just have to have such and such a turkey, sausages wrapped in bacon, Christmas cake, crackers (have to be to buy half the stuff), stuffing, Champagne (don't you know) and don't forget the Christmas pud. On and on it goes - no wonder people get into such debt over it all as it is just ridiculous. Not much to do with the birth of Christ though these days although I do acknowledge that some still want to celebrate that, no matter when he was born, but all to do with stuffing our faces and buying everyone what they absolutely must have although they have done without it so far! Kids? Parents go crazy but I refuse too as they only play with what they really want to play with an nothing else, plus mum and dad have to have somewhere to store it all!

Have a lovely time when it gets here though everyone won't you and of course be well.

Love, Carole xxxxxx

bayleyray-uk profile image
bayleyray-uk

Morning all,

I just ignore the commercial side of Christmas, we have cut down on prezzie buying get the grandchildren (2) presents, our daughter and partner usually have some kind of white goods, they always seem to need some kind of kitchen essential - this year their washing machine has given up the ghost oh and a prezzie for my dad.

Sammie and myself go on 1 massive food shop about 4 days before Christmas day in the evening/night which will cover both households for a week, all done and sorted in about 4 hours - Iceland, Tesco and Sainsbury.

Christmas day at Sammies for about 11 or 12 and a puppy, then our house on boxing day for 12 again. It's just starting to get too much now, I can cook the boxing day lunch ok just need a mountain of hot mash and a ton of peas and the usual pickles and stuff, but nobody seems to want to leave, so there's tea and stuff to sort out. Usually by 4.00pm I'm wanting everybody to start leaving, but they insist on hanging on.

We are lucky though, everyone gets on, so it's happy chatter and laughing and I will probably hate it when I can't have the boxing day bun fight.

Take care everybody.

Sue

pollyjj profile image
pollyjj

This year I have persuaded my daughter to take my grandson to her sister and family for Christmas day I can't cope now and don't want to spoil it for a 10 year old he needs to be with happy healthy people and have a fun time. We will be fine I already have our Christmas dinner in the freezer ready to cook from frozen and I am looking forward to it. They want us to drive over Christmas morning for an hour but don't think we will. I expect they will all come on Boxing day but at least they do all the food and clearing up.

Quite looking forward to a relaxed Christmas.

take care

polly xx

Sorry to be a bit "down" but some people have no choice about how they spend Christmas. I would love to have the chance to,decide whether I wanted to share this time with family. Unfortunately, we were never blessed with children, neither do either of us have brothers or sisters. Add to that the fact that my husband is end-stage COPD and heart failure, we can't even go out to the pub to have some company. So, to all of you who actually have a choice, pleased remember how fortunate you are to be wanted. OK, self-pity time finished!! I hope you all enjoy the holidays, whatever you decide to do. Love Jan xx

Nikkers profile image
Nikkers

With you on this one Vashti. Jesus was born in September, so what's it all about? Over priced gifts and over priced food.

As it began in the first place from a Pagan ritual, how has it become so commercialised and false?

I never cease to be amazed at the frenzied shopping that goes on this time of the year - are we about to be hit by a famine or something? The groaning trolleys in Tescos beggar believe- that would feed me for the next 12 months! But most of all - why? It's just another day with an ordinary roast dinner, so why do you have to have sooooooo much of everything?

Sorry, I'm probably a miserable old killjoy, but I know I'm not alone?

Hope it's all everyone wants it to be anyway. XXX

velvet55 profile image
velvet55β€’ in reply toNikkers

Hi nikkers

it's not just an ordinary day !!

For a start off, you should have been visited the night before by Santa, if he doesn't come to your house it's because you haven't left a mince pie and drink out for him.

And, what other day can you have a tipple in the morning without getting disapproving looks !!

And only at Christmas do I..., put red wine in the gravy...have one myself while making it...Sherry in the trifle...have one myself while making it...Brandy on the Christmas Pud...have one myself while doing it...and serve liquors with the coffee...have one myself while doing it....and remain sober !!!

Hee Hee.

Seriously...whatever you all decide to do...ENJOY yourselves

Velvet xx

Ha ha I wish you could too 1008 x

Jessy11 profile image
Jessy11

Hi Velvet & Malcolm, this is totally unrelated to this post but have either of you seen Tam around since he posted jokes the other day?

Hope he's ok πŸ€”

Toci profile image
Tociβ€’ in reply toJessy11

He has posted.

Jessy11 profile image
Jessy11β€’ in reply toToci

Thanks Toci! Was just a bit worried he wasn't too good at the moment 🌹

Nikkers profile image
Nikkers

Hic! XX

knitter profile image
knitter

There is a man in our town who arranges a communal Christmas dinner for anyone who is alone on the day and wants company. He has done this for a number of years now.

I have been sorting out family photos and found one of my mother sitting at her Christmas dinner looking daggers...now I know where I get my mardiness from.

Nanaeal profile image
Nanaeal

As always a witty & satirical piece, on this occasion I really disagree. I am one of "the misguided" Christians who celebrate the birth of Christ even if it didn't happen in December I don't care. As a family we don't go for all the commercial bit & we do try to share our good fortune with others.

If we take the Christ & the mass out of it ( yes I also go to midnight mass) & call it a winter holiday, Then let's call Ramadan (Eid All - fitr) & Hanukkah Fluffy Bunnies in case that offends somebody. Almost everything gets commercialise but that is hardly the fault of those of us who want to celebrate in a simple way. I won't rain on your parade of you don't ridicule mine

hufferpuffer profile image
hufferpuffer

I have so enjoyed reading your post and the replies you've had! The Winter Solstice and celebrating the light has turned into a Birthday Celebration in our family,my Great Nephew little Rory will be 3 this year 🌠 he came into the world on 22.12.2012 πŸ˜„

Christmas for me is a time of remembrance , my younger brother ended his life on Boxing day in 1987 and my elder brother drowned whilst out in his boat fishing to get the money for Christmas gifts for his family in 1997.

My Mum left us just before the Christmas of 1996 she had emphysema which was exacerbated by the suicide of my brother.

For many years I worked away from home around this time of year looking after elderly folk and now I enjoy the luxury of relaxing at home by the fire, a brandy and mince pie and seeing my children and grandchildren over the holidays...It's all about the light and love to me, past present and future.huff xxx

Nanaeal profile image
Nanaeal

Oh huffee Christmas past have certainly held some sad times for you. Flare lost her battle with Cancer 20 years ago, she was 25 & loved Christmas. We enjoy time with the family, this year were meeting in the New Forest.

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