just wanted to thank all you lovely people(yes im crying)that has supported me over the last few days online.It means so much to have support from people that"know"what this feels like.
God bless you all and thankyou all from the bottom of my heart,my love to all of you,wish I could hug and kiss you all.john xxx
Hi John
Did you get all your results in x
Not yet darling.just saw the professor today and i thought it was for the scan.had no food in two days because i was depressed and i thought i was having the scan today and you cant it.I thought i was going to faint!on the street.the ct/pet scan will be done next week they said,im hoping as im doing it privately so i can get it done quickly,god knows what the bill will be!!big big huggs.j xx
Oh
I found waiting for results to be the worse part but you really need to eat.
I know how hard that is i lost lots of weight but if you cant eat heavy food at least have some healthy drinks or something small but high calorie. If you lose a lot of weight you will find it harder x
Yes,today i nearly fainted.my trousers are also falling down even with a belt...i guess im just still in shock and scared.the people i thought loved me just dont seem to want to know,like its my fault im going through this.I dont think i will ever be the same again,i feel betrayed by thise I thought loved me.but given more help and love by strangers,may god help me and save me.j xx
Oh John im so very sorry your feeling so low. Im sure your not the only person who has felt that way i know i have and still do at times.
I cant speak for the people in your life but i can for the people in mine and ive felt lonely and on my own in the past due to the behaviour of my friends and family but it was a lot to do with their fear of what was happening and it got to me for a long time that they were not being strong and supportive for me but i had to let that go because i cant make anyone change apart from myself and i learned to accept some people just were not strong enough to cope with my illness.
It takes a long time to get use to such a huge thing forcing its way into your life and this illness made me feel i had no life left to enjoy but its not true.
Its taken me over a year to even come to terms with it so the best advice i can give to you is be patient with yourself and others and take things one day at a time or even one hour at a time.
We can all empathise with each other but we are on our own journey alone so just grab hold of the hands that are offered and remember family titles ie , sisters, brothers, uncles aunts mums etc they are all just titles they are people and sometimes we expect them to be something they are not. x
Wish I could hugg you.
But I cant....jxx
Stay positive John. I'm thinking of you. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I have been through it all.
As Mandy says you must eat, even if it is little and often. I lost a great deal of weight and it isn't good. Try to eat at least four small meals a day.
You must stay as healthy as possible and weight loss will hinder you.
Good luck with your PetScan
Love Suzyxxx
Thankyou.all i can think of is this 13mm X6mm nodule in my lung!just makes me want to vomit and just shout at my doctor "get it out now".sorry im ranting...huggs jxxx
Thankyou Suzy lots of huggs!
Not ranting at all. Rant and rave all you like. That is why I love this forum. Even when you rant and rave people are so understanding, caring, supportive helpful and understand your frustration. You should hear me when I start. I have started swearing much to my Husbands disgust.
Take it slowly one day at a time.
Love Suzyxxx
Look after yourself. Thinking if you. Take care xx
Thankyou so much Lyn!kiss huggs jxxx
Oohhh you need to settle down,I know what it's like to not eat for days.In the late 70s I weighed 89 pounds.My beautiful boy who was 4 had a malignant brain tumor.The nightmare lasted 16 months.I would like it very much if you could just relax take care of yourself.if you feel weak.do some isometric exercises in bed.don't waste away , Mortalguy.I believe in you ..xxxxxoooooo You can be our hero!!!!!
Right now im curled up on a sofa with a blanket over my head.I can hear all the noise from the coffee shops below,people talking laughing,being excited,being happy.I know im nothing special but i cant help but think how tragic life is.Its funny in a way when I see people puffing on ciggerettes,I just want to scream and yell..are you crazy?.I used to work in all major nightclubs and thats probably how,IF I have cancer probably got it.But then my mum is 81 and if i know her she must of smoked even when carrying me.I wrote a song once years ago.it was called"born to die"its strange but its come true...I love london,even with all the noise,theres a little sparrow that I feed every day,maybe only he will miss me....
Oh My Godess honey please sit up.go wash your face and make some tea.please ,your mum would say something like that? Mums would be so sad to have you think you add up to nothing.remember your childhood favorite thing.that sparrow is trying to tell you ,you are something.you are that birds parent.do ya suppose ......XXXXOOOO Your friend Gold
Thankyou love you and huggs to you jxxx
Hi John, do you think that the ones you love just don't know what to say because they're frightened too? It's true, we all find out who are our true friends are when we need them, but, it's usually further down the road when someone has a chronic disease and can no longer do the things they used to do, not when you still don't know what you've got, if you know what I mean. Some people just can't cope with what their loved one is going through.
As for not being able to eat, we've all been there, just eat fingeror easy to swallow food, banana's, soup, yogurts, rice pudding, tinned custard (Full of calories.) porridge, lumps of cheese, handfuls of nuts, tuna straight from the tin ect... so that your grazing throughout the day, just until you get this sorted. That's how I got my weight back.
Every morning, tell yourself, you'll worry tomorrow, the week will be up in no time. xx
Hi you are welcome love. Lots of virtual hugs coming your way xx
Happy Christmas to All 
Happy Christmas to you all
Merry Christmas to you all
A BIG THANKYOU To All
Love and light to you all xxx
