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Quite Mad of Course...But I Do Like Him...

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While I was waiting in the chemists for my meds yesterday I was trying on the glasses they have for sale...mainly 'cos they have an offer on, buy one pair get another pair free, ought to go to the opticians really but I was very taken by a bright pink pair with square lenses...we have to have seriously boring frames 'cos of being poor you see. You can buy other frames if you can afford them, but it seems slightly mean to get the free check-up and free lenses and then go and choose a posh pair of frames by Gucci that'll set you back to the tune of hundreds of balls of wool or several yards of Liberty fabric...

And anyway our Optician is ever so slightly off the wall...he's incredibly intense...that ought to be in italics but they won't transfer from Word so you'll have to imagine the emphasis on the 'intense' instead.

The last time I went, he suddenly leant towards me and gripped my arm...have you come across the deserted village he asked...as I was trying to convince myself I could see the little red spot when it was patently clear I couldn't...I was slightly taken aback and said...'Deserted Village?' Then he picked up the little table lamp on his desk and waved it about 'what do you think? this was only €2-99 from Heaton's? Proper lighting is very important he said...

Deserted Village? Excellent book he said...get it from the library...say I told you to...can you see the red spot?

I gave up and confessed I couldn't see the red spot...so he slotted another set of lenses in and twiddled about a bit and I said...what is it about? What? the book...the deserted village...what's it about...can you see it now, he enquired...Oh...the red dot. Just about. Excellent, he said.

People 'phone from all over the world you know...they do? I replied...they think they must be related you see...Ah I said...because of the name...well, they would, I answered.

Himself throws reminder letters for eye tests on the range...says the man is away with the feckin' faeries...

I like him though...I quite like being closeted in a small dark room with someone who is patently as mad as a bag of wet cats...I don't mind when he flits from one subject to another within the same sentence...don't care that a thirty minute consultation invariably lasts an hour while he enquires about my hobbies and then launches into once seeing Mary Queen of Scots embroidery...it's behind glass he says while he's fiddling about with lenses and telling me the perils of steroids and eyesight...all sort of mixed together so you'd swear poor Mary was swallowing steroids and have to remind yourself...no...it's you he's referring to.

As for the Deserted Village...that'll be a story for another day.

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8 Replies
redted profile image
redted

Well,got to admit I got lost along the way,but I was really into the conversation, Mmm do you come away any the wiser,or just with a smile on your face Lol

piggi profile image
piggi

Ba ha ha ha!!!! Chortle chortle.......xxxxxx

Azure_Sky profile image
Azure_Sky

He sounds really sweet, I bet he knows what he's doing as an optician. He is clever to get you to look at the red dot by distracting you.

I've been ferreting around to find my father, I got as far is his birthplace near Aberdeen and that he was christened John Storey Ray, in 1920. Then the trail went cold. I paid to do the search but can't find any more. He was in Norfolk in the War.

I am wondering whether Genu wiki or Ancestry.com would be the places to search further.

Did you buy the snazzy pink glasses? My husband buys his reading glasses from the chemist. They don't have any strong enough for me.

Nikkers profile image
Nikkers

Priceless Vashti! I can almost hear the conversation. I've come across several people like that, it would seem that their brains work on fast forward all the time and they're cramming everything in today in case they forget it tomorrow?

By the way......did you know that Arabs do it intense? Lol XX

Offcut profile image
Offcut

Another great post.

I seem to meet people like that in queues. I am like the pigeon loft for the bizarre! They just keep coming to me? Or do they think I am the same?

Be Well

Vashti - you make me smile! Thank you for your posts. Hope you are feeling much better. It sort of reminds me of my son - we jumped on a train together which was crowded and stood at the front of the carriage. An old chap was sat on the chair next to my son nursing an equally old dog. My son smiled at the chap and we heard "blah blah blah" or similar - to which my son smiled again and offered to pat the dog on its head - to which the dog made a blood curdling noise and launched itself at my son. I have never laughed as much - to which the chap (who we could amazingly suddenly understand) said "I told you dog snapped"!!! Well the tears streamed down my face! Have a lovely day xxx

Oh the joys of Vashti's posts. I wish i could collect them all up, print them out and read them when I'm feeling really bad. They cheer me up so much. Thanks Vashti. xxx

Azure_Sky profile image
Azure_Sky in reply to

I copy them into word, so I read them at leisure.

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