i had the most terrifing thing happen a week last friday,as i said i think before i live in my bedroom,it is or was the only place i feel safe,late morning there was a bang at the door,i never open the door unless i know who it is,i dont even have the phones on,there was banging everywhere around the house and aggressive shouting,then it went quiet and i thought it was maybe someone next door,then it started again,it was like my house was being knocked down,i was petrified,i still have not got over it,i cant eat or sleep,you might think im being silly but i thought i was going to be murdered,i then heard someone coming up the stairs,it takes me ages to get out of bed and try to walk,i looked through my bedroom door and 2 policeman were coming up stairs,the day before my mental health worker,well she is an adult recovery worker came,she always seems in a hurry and i forgot to ask her if the other one was coming the next day and when the OT was coming so i texted her and she just replied i was on a waiting list and never mentioned if the other one was coming the next day,it took me weeks to trust them coz i never see anyone at all only the supermarket delivery man and they are no help,so i txted her back and said cud i phone when she was free butt she didnt reply,so i texted again and said,it doesnt matter sarah,its not important,i said they must think my knee is not that bad if in on a waiting list and i said i dont want to see anyone else,and i said to her,thank you for your help and thank fred for me please,bye and thank you,jane,that is every thing i put in the text and the next day she phoned the police and told them i was going to kill myself,i was being polite in the text,it seems everyone is against me,she knows i never answer the door or the phone,my back door is demolished and one of the wheelie bins badly broken,they have been in every room,things have been moved into other rooms,i dont know what to do,the policeman asked me if i said i was going to kill myself,i said no and he asked if i had said it jokingly,it wasnt even in my mind,i am sorry i have wrote so much,i cant get it out of my mind,they gave me a bit of hope coz a couple of weeks ago she said the OT was coming,she said they would help me with my medical negligence,i am back to square one,this room is so depressing,thank you every one and i hope you are all keeping well,jc.
Hello friends: i had the most terrifing... - Lung Conditions C...
Hello friends
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Jc, what a horrid experience for you to have, I really hope that it all settles down now. I can only guess that the lady was worried about you as she had got the police involved.
Take care x
That sounds an awful experience, JC100, and it'd hard for you as you're getting more and more isolated in your room. Maybe one of these websites could help you: webhealth.co.uk/support-gro... in the UK, or if you're in the USA depressedanonymous.me/ .
Hi JC, have you thought about living in sheltered accommodation? It may be something for you to look into. You wouldn't be so isolated.
You could ask your health worker. It sounds to me like you should not be living on your own.
Are you in the UK?
Hi,thank you sirjames,im in the uk and i would like a bungalow like i replyed to Mic,its not just the wiring,,it needs work doing on it and the gardens are like the amazon,thank you.
Have you spoken to anyone about a bungalow - your health worker?
You can ask Age concern for help with the garden and other jobs or find out about local voluntary organisations.
As I mentioned - ask your health worker or someone you know to help you
Here's link to Age concern
Thank you sirjames,i told her ages ago,she's a very nice person and the man is but they are of no help what so ever,thats why she said an occupational therapist was coming out,thats why i texted her and she said i was on a waiting list,i had only seen her a couple of hours earlier and wished her a happy holiday,thank you.
How absolutely terrifying for you. I cannot imagine how scared you must have been. I hope that it all calms down and you are able to settle again. Take care, lots of love TAD xxx
Thank you very much TAD xxx
Hello JC, I'm so sorry to hear about your frightening experience, I hope your OT can help you , I do think sheltered accommodation would be ideal for you, take care , hugs huff xx
Thank you huff,it was terrifing,i didnt know who it was,cant see through the windows who is there,i dont understand why the adult recovery worker did it,the text i sent her i put it all in the post i wrote and she knows i never answer the door or phone,thank you.
Sorry you were so scared jc100, what a frightening experience. I hope life settles down soon. Did you look at the web sites that eregendal suggested, i think you would find them helpful. Also sirjames idea of supported housing may help you, you could still have your own safe space but have the security of people to help you. Ask your adult recovery worker about support to get your door fixed. Love Margaret x
Thank you Margaret,i have sent lots of texts about it,but she doesnt mention it,thank you.
HI what an awful experience for you, no wonder you were scared. On re-reading your post again I think it's because you kept saying good bye to them, it is obvious the recovery worker interpreted this as you were going to kill yourself.
I don't know if you are aware but there is a depression site on here and 2 anxiety ones so you might get more help there. If you go into your communities at the top of the page and click on browse other communities you will find them. One is called Action on Depression but am not sure of the anxiety ones.
I hope you have calmed down a bit now and things get sorted for you. Take care x
Hello,i only said bye once in the text,i had seen her earlier in the day and i put why i didnt want them to come any more,they have been coming about a year and have not helped at all,i think the policeman thought it was odd coz he asked me if i had said i was going to kill myself,i said no then he asked if i had said it jokingly,i hadnt,i had not even thought about it,thank you.
Give adult social services a call it sounds to me like just having a friendly face you can trust would help a lot.....finding the right person is a big part of it x x x
Oh you poor thing it sounds horrendous - sounds like she over-reacted maybe from guilt at not having given you an appointment. Whatever, realize it will take you some time to get over it - I hope you can reach out and get some other help - take care - thinking of you xx
Goodness JC, that was really terrifying, and all this questioning when you didn't even said what they thought you did.
This waiting list, is this to move you to a more comfortable place where you might have someine to look after you. After all, if you are ill, it's difficult for you isn't it. I hope something good happens out of all this. Now, please, you must look after yourself. Mic
Thank you for your reply Mic,im on a waiting list for an occupatioal therapist,i thought the adult recovery people were them,she told me one was coming out to me,then when i texted her to see when they were coming she said i was on a waiting list,i want to buy a bungalow but my house needs re wiring,british gas came out to it 2 years ago but wouldnt fix the fuses in 2 rooms coz they are to dangerous,they said i could get council funding,i emailed my mp and he said he had been in touch with british gas and he said they told him it was fine,so i phoned british gas and they said he hadnt been in touch,i have had trouble with bt overcharging me,in december my contract was £32.84 but they were charging me £40.84,it has only just been sorted,sorry for complaining,it just seems everyone is against me,thank you,every one on here is so nice,i have actually got tears in my eyes,i dont come on much coz i think i might get a nasty reply,jane.
Hi Jane you won't get any nasty replies on here you know! And if a newbie does come in with nasty comments be assured that the rest of us will jump on them hard... we have your back so don't worry about that please.
Would you be any better in a bungalow? Wouldn't you feel less secure rather than more? You might be better off buying a place in a sheltered complex where there is someone on hand to help you.
As for British Gas forget them, they are rubbish. Can I ask how old you are please? You might be able to get the work done via help the aged or something if you are 55 or over. They have workmen whom they guarantee, this might be a better option for you.
Stay with us Jane and we will help you all we can. Hugs Bev xx
I Bev,im 50,i want a bungalow coz of the stairs here,its agony,british gas said i could get council funding but my mp said that they said the wiring is fine,if it is why didnt they fix the power in the 2 rooms and they said the mp did not get in touch with them,thank you jane.
Bless you, I hope you get things sorted, you have been given some good advice by everyone good luck xx
Hi Sally,yes everyone is lovely on here,thank you,jane xx
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through at the moment jc, it sounds like some sort of nightmare. You should not have to live in such awful conditions, have you a social worker ? You need a friend as well, has your local council got a befriending service. There is no disgrace in asking for help, you sound really isolated. You can get in touch with social services and your local council on-line. Ask for help, you deserve it and are entitled to it. Sending you big hugs and love. Vicki XX
Please let us know how you are getting on jc, take heart, you are not alone. X
Hello,other recovery worker is coming today,he texted and asked if i wanted him to come.i said yes but i dont want him to now,i dont know him very well and i think there will be an argument about the broken door,i think i said yes because i was so tired,i wish i was not so frightened of people,when i have texted both of them before,asking who is going to fix my door,they avoid the subject,the only thing they have said is that the police have to make it safe,its not,its awful and it was a lovely door and they dont care about what i went through and they know im afraid of people and dont answer the boor or phone,sorry for moaning.i am panicking already,thank you,jane.
How did it go with the recovery worker ?, what are you recovering from ? It should be your landlord that fix the door , if you own the property you will have to get a tradesperson to fix it which will you will have to pay for.
it's a shame you have panic attacks when people come to help you, nothing will ever get better unless you let people help you. Do you have any medication you could take when you are expecting someone ?
Hello,i am not paying for the door,i cant afford it anyway,she texted mon morning did i want her to come,i said no,after the first couple of times they came,i was ok and looked forward to them coming,i injured my knee iv or about 2000,the doc came out,i couldnt walk,it was very swollen and has been ever since,he didnt send me for an xray and over the years i have been telling him how it hurts and its always swollen,he just gave me different painkillers and topical creams,i moved to a different practice last year and the doc got me a specialist straight away and the adult recovery team,that doc had to go to the hospital for a year till august,because the injury wasnt treated,it is now severe osteoarthritis,the specialist said no way at my age should i have that,if is caught early it can be treated but i have only one option,to have a total knee replacement,my leg is very bent,i read about it on the internet coz i had never heard of it and it said get lots of opinions but this other quack went mad when i asked for a second opinion,he came out to me and was really nasty,i asked him about a smear test,i keep getting reminder letters and he just said thats not important,i had a 2nd opinion in october,i told the recovery worker how nasty the doc was and she said was it me just thinking that until she saw a nasty letter he sent and she said he should not have done that,i am on loads of tablets,sleeping tablets,2 different anti depressants,a stomach lining pill and the strongest pain killers,it made me agaraphobic,over 10 years and i have no one in the world,i cant do anything,i cant even tidy up,i am out of breath just making a cup of tea,i got into debt because i wasnt getting anything for my knee coz i couldnt say what was wrong with it,but i am now with pip,they came out and i get the enhanced rate for both living and mobility but i am still having to pay a £100 a month for the debts,i feel so let down,thank you,jane.
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My Second Tunnel of Light. ( a long blog for tonight )
Dear friends. 
Smoke
Just back from seeing GP regarding my breathlessness
