I believe that I should be awarded the title. I don't feel well. Nothing specific, just off. Sick, tired, achey, hot, cold, snuffley, chronic indigestion and full of feeling sorry for myself.
I am putting all the blame on this wretched disease. It's not that I have been doing too much (really).
It began on Tuesday when dearly beloved came in for lunch. His hospital letter had arrived so he sat and read it while I prepared lunch. Pot of tea, two rounds of sandwiches and crisps. Getting it ready was not really a problem, but as all you lovely people on oxygen know, carrying anything whilst coiling and uncoiling an oxygen pipe is interesting. Four trips from kitchen to living room later I sat down to eat. He didn't bat an eye at my Herculean effort!
Wednesday off to see my rheumy consultant. It was persisting down with rain. Floods on the journey down but there was a disabled space, so my new blue badge got its second trip out. And the spaces are free. So oxy, buggy, raincoat and me go hurtling to the entrance, while himself finishes locking up. Not in there long, just long enough to agree to a Rituximab infusion. This will be after Christmas as dearly beloved has his perineal biopsy for prostate cancer 5th and I need to be the carer. That should be fun.
Thursday back to hospital (9.15 apt) this time to see my lung consultant. He's all for the new arthritis treatment and sends me to get an up to date X ray. Bloods required as well. I have to applaud my hospital for the fantastic way they look after me. At X ray they wheeled out an oxygen cylinder as I was getting a bit low.
So a normal week (not)
Question am I a wuss? Am I poorly or just exhausted?
Sorry have run on a bit. If you managed to get to the end help yourself to a chocolate cup cake.
Love Dozy xxx
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DozyDormouse
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Hi dozy , that's one busy week so could be either, I'd be exhausted after all that but u've been out in crappy weather so could be a touch of the sniffles too, not helping much am I.
And men never notice when we do things only the things we don't manage lol
Sending ( (( hugs ))) to help u feel better whatever is causing it. X Sonia x
No fighting today. Being a wuss all snuggled in cuddly dressing gown. Having a lovely day. Hope you are too. Xx
I need two cupcakes after that - I only care for husband with Copd and I am bloody exhausted after reading that lot! No wonder you feel a bit under par - rest my lovely rest and take care, lots of love TAD
Thankyou Tad. As a carer your task is doubly hard as you have to rein in your speed and energy to match ours. Resting today you take care xx
Any week with two trips to hospital appointments is enough to slay a dragon, let alone a little dormouse. It's amazing how the things we do to preserve our health can end up leaving us exhausted and debilitated. As for the sandwich incident - well In a way it's nice that he just sees you as wife and lunch provider, rather then as a sick person. I think you're worrying about not being up to caring for him after his infusion and I can totally identify with that. My husband needs to have his knee done and we both know I would not be able to run up and down stairs, fetch and carry. A well trained dog woukd probably be of more use to him and I find this very depressing and guilt inducing.
Sick and achy, hot and cold sounds like a touch of one of the winter viruses. Rest up and spend a lazy day recharging the batteries and maybe reading a lighthearted piece of escapism. You are incredibly brave and resilient Dozy and definitely not a wuss. But having said that, if it's an award you're after then we'll grant it to you anyway
Stop reading between the lines. Yes to all but infection. Resting today. You take care xx
Dozy I feel exhausted just reading all you have had to do this weekend! Hope you can keep warm and rest tomorrow and soon feel better. Enjoy your cup cake and yes please I will help myself. Chris x
Your not a wuss Dozy, your exhausted, which is natural with what you are having to manage doing, with your limitations.
Your sandwich story just reminded me of how I always know when I'm running down because I get mad at the little things. I start getting a bit resentful, the dirty pan they leave when they've cooked, constantly washing up when they've got every plate/ knife/ fork out ect, not saying thank you when I've cooked for hours ect...
I remember years ago. I was exhausted, I was trying to cook the tea while 5 boys and my partner were playing up all around me. I was opening a tin of beans and I started to fee like I was going to explode. I Then, I suddenly snapped and launched the tin at the back door. There was total silence - - and then they all burst out laughing. I was so upset, I ran off upstairs crying. They just didn't noticed how run down I was getting.
My GP warned me I was on the verge of a breakdown if I didn't start getting some help aroung the house.
The help only lasted a week or two and it was the start of a lifelong need for antidepressants.
Just last week I felt I was going to faint while cooking tea for my son's and brother. Did I go and lay down till it passed - Did I heck as like. I battled on. I can't help myself, it's like I'm a stepford wife with no husband. Lol.
You need to start taking more care of yourself Dozy although I know it's easier said than done. x
I think I would have gone on strike very early on. But it is never too late to remove the rod from your own back. Even one me day a week would be good. Give it a try double dog dare you xxx
My mother once told me to stop crossing oceans for people that wouldn't walk through a puddle for me, and I have always remembered what she said,and still live by it today.thankfully there are not many people in my life that I apply the saying to.
Having a little rest and sit down today. Getting charged for the weekend and Christmas shopping. We all have to go the extra mile to keep up with you my hero xx
aye dozy, i know the feeling well, its very hard going on oxygen,keeping appoints etc,,, and keeping yourself right, without running after others,, you must be exhausted,, please try take a break,, i think you deserve a medal for what your doing,,,, no cupcake for me a tattie scone
i had my health lifestyle group today, came home at 3pm [from 10 am] totally done in agony, breathing bad,,, slept for two hours, unusual for me,,, so i know the feeling take care doz,,, jimmy xx
Morning DD your defiantly and catorgorically not a wuss. You are fantasric now take a rest do something really nice for you have a treat. No cup cakes for me I'm trying to loose weight so you can have mine.
Thankyou. Doing nothing but relaxing today. Will need to be a bit more active tomorrow. Use it or lose it. Can't lose muscle so gotta move it. Take care xx
Yes Dozy,you,re just knackered,so have a moan,pick yourself up and get on with it just like you always do.Hope you cheer up soon,thinking of you!Regards D.
I don't really think we have run into each other before, but my apologies if I have ( memory issues), but I have read a lot of your posts, and you certainly are no wuss!! I think you are tired and exhausted with all you have to deal with on a daily basis. As everyone else has said you just need some time for yourself, and a bit of space. You deal with all your issues with humour and soldier on. Humour is a good cover for hiding how we really are. Not saying that you are doing that, but............ you will know that.
Most of us can identify with how you are feeling, and sometimes you just hit the wall, and need a break. I too have a few different health issues which require frequent hospital appointments, which are greatly complicated by living on an island and having no transport of my own, so have to rely on patient transport, which has a habit of cancelling at the last minute, or take you hours before your appointment is due in order to accommodate others, so you can imagine all the fun and games that throws up, then the weather can make the ferries go off, or cause delays or you end up sailing to another port entirely. I should really post a few funny true stories about it one day.
At the minute, I have not really been posting due to another new health issue which has cropped up, so am taking a bit of time, getting my head wrapped around it, and preparing for 6 appointments between now and February. lol at the thought of it all.
Hope this finds you feeling a bit better, and take as many days resting as you need, as you can only force yourself for so long, and then it takes its toll. that is my experience anyway, but we all keep soldiering on as usual as much as we can.
Take care,
hugs from Huggs xxxx
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