About eighteen months ago I was rushed off to hospital having collapsed in a soggy heap at home...don't remember a thing about it, which is a shame really 'cos I'd have found the ambulance ride quite exciting...but there you are.
When I finally woke up five days later I didn't ask where I was or what day was it...I was propped up with dozens of pillows and my arms and neck full of needles and machines blinking and peeping and all I said was ...I Want A Cup Of Tea!
Except my voice was in my head...nothing came out when I opened my mouth...and it didn't worry me in the slightest, which you'd think it would.
Every now and then a nurse would let me have about a teaspoonful of water then she'd whip it away and fiddle about with all the machinery and Himself came in to see me and I honestly didn't give a hoot...
Strange men would stand at the foot of my bed and smile and nod and slip back behind the curtains and they'd have a muttered conversation with other strange men...
Perhaps it was a typical ICU ward...don't know, never having been on one before.
Then around about the third night of my waking up again, I was watching one of the nurses leaning on the counter of the nurses station reading something or other...and she had
a little ginger kitten weaving in and out of her ankles...the way that kittens do. Thought it was a bit odd, but things change so quickly that I came to the conclusion the kitten was there for some type of patient therapy.
Opposite me was a man who was really poorly...the evening after the kitten's appearance, Joe's wife came in to sit with him and she and a couple of nurses were discussing his transplant operation which was due to take place in Donegal...a helicopter was coming to collect him that night. They were all peering out of the window to watch for it landing and when it did...with flashing lights and much noise, the nurses and Joes wife rushed out of the ward...I fell asleep after that.
The ward had a clock which was on a wall in my sight...and it was always showing the wrong time...in fact it kept going backwards rather than forwards...I regained my speech by then and I pointed the clock out to the nurse and said it was going backwards and she patted me gently on the hand and said that'd be the drugs...fancy giving the clock drugs...thought that was very silly.
Eventually they decided I could get out of bed and if I was very good I could go for a shower...under supervision naturally...I asked the girl who was helping me in the shower about the kitten...she fell about laughing and explained that it was the drugs I'd been on...so I told her about Joe and the helicopter and I thought she was going to be sick from giggling...Ah...come here to me, she said...you were having a reaction to the drugs...is all! So, there isn't a ginger kitten? Nope...and Joe isn't going to Donegal for a transplant? Nope...and the clock going backwards? Nope...
Thought I'd better keep very quiet about all the candles that lit the ward up at night...and those flowers in pots that surrounded my bed...
Hi Vashti, I was sedated and ventilated for a month so I know exactly where your coming from, I never saw any kittens but I flew in my bed within a squadron of other beds, I went on missions with the SAS and flew in chinook helicopters, I made and starred in a few mini films made by couples in a short movie competition, I entered and lived in a strange water world and lots more. Those drugs are blummin amazing as I can still remember those dreams and hallucinations like I actually did them for real.
Hi Vashti thank-you for bringing a smile to me bless.So what meds were they then ? A very good read what an experience Im glad the drugs were strong enough to let you keep nodding off instead of maybe being a little freaked.Glad your better and outta there.What a hoot candles and kittens . Janexx
I haven't the faintest idea what those drugs were...not a clue...I wasn't freaked out in the least...just thought everything was...normal!
You and Tony sound like you had a great experience with these drugs - a bit of a drastic way of getting on them though
ps vashti you crack me up - you have a wonderful outlook
Brill story vashti, I've never had the experience myself but as I worked at the hospital there are plenty of patients that have, one old lady was convinced her cat was with her and kept constantly screeching at us to shut the doors so the cat couldn't get out funny at first but after several hours u can imagine, and one young chap barracaded himself and 3 other men in his bay , cuz aliens ( us nurses ) were doing experiments on them, he even phoned the police asking for protection, scared the other men to death lol, very funny telling him what he'd done the next day. so miss my job. X Sonia x
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There was a really lovely male nurse on the ward who told me that some patients he'd had thought they were in a concentration camp and that the nurses were all Nazi's...it's awful really isn't it cos those illusions are so real at the time...poor old lady and her cat...hope someone looked after it for her...!
My uncle had the same hallucination at Hereford Hospital and tried to make a run for it. . He fought against the Germans in the war so you can see where it came from.
My dreams while sedated were amazing but they took on a whole new level when bedridden and conscious. I started acting out what I was dreaming about, My daughter sat and watched me eat a big bag of chocolate Minstrels, I ended by saying 'ah' minstrels my favorite' but there was nothing there.
I thought I was taking a very important penalty for Leeds UTD, I ran up in front of a massive crowd and kicked the ball as hard as I could, only to awake to nurses running into the room of 4 patients and finding I had kicked my jug of water off the table onto the patient in the next bed. Well he was a Tottenham fan. .
This sort of thing went on for about 5 months after coming around after sedation.
Its not all bad being ill is it vashti, you can still have a laugh along the way.
Well done to you Vashti for keeping your sense of humor where many would struggle, your story certainly brought back memories of my 4 month holiday in hospital which was 4 years ago now.
I'm on oxygen now but only when on the move and overnight which is much better than expected. I was told that I would probably never leave home and be on permanent oxygen.
I still return to ICU every Christmas with tins of biscuits for the staff, well I was their record holder at the time for the longest stay, so they haven't got rid of me yet.
Oh! I wish I could remember the lengthy time I had in critical care after a 7 hour op to repair a ruptured aneurysm what I would have given to know what was going on in that ambulance I felt rather important afterwards as they had given me 2 police outriders and put the lights on what they call a green corridor (all lights were turned to green to assist with the fast passage of the ambulance) but no I vaguely woke 3 months later with a trach tube in my throat I could not speak yet all I wanted was a glass of water they just wiped out my mouth with those lemon tasting swabs but oh the bit of fluid I squeezed from them was nectar then nothing until another month and then I found myself waking on a normal ward those liquidized meals for the next 3 weeks were beyond description and was I glad when the ENT Dr said I could go back onto solids again. Then I was discharged back to a nursing home in the middle of October making one vow which I kept and did and that was to be walking on my home before Christmas. What ever drugs they were giving me I don't know except I had some weird and wacky dream.
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Oh Ant...you had a horrible time of it...I was escorted through the lights as well and... was a bit cross I missed all the exciting bits...
I do so hope you are feeling much much better now
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Hi Yashti yes I am much better now that was in 2006 all that excitement in my life, the only trouble after two years of debate and scans they have decided to tell me it is developing again asked why I was not brought into this earlier I was told well we thought it might have been what is called a Ghost Aneurysm (that would have put me at the starting gate for Halloween) that is where the artery is rucked up and sewn onto the graft stent. But like you I have a wicked sense of humour and never let things let me down rather like yourself.
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Sometimes it's a bit of a struggle to see the funny side...but even in the most dire situations there's very often something amusing...not always, mind you.
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Hi Vashti yes I agree with you it can be a struggle more times than enough but I have been disabled for a long time now and even in my dark periods I see light and laughter.
My dreams while sedated were amazing but they took on a whole new level when bedridden and conscious. I started acting out what I was dreaming about, My daughter sat and watched me eat a big bag of chocolate Minstrels, I ended by saying 'ah' minstrels my favorite' but there was nothing there.
I thought I was taking a very important penalty for Leeds UTD, I ran up in front of a massive crowd and kicked the ball as hard as I could, only to awake to nurses running into the room of 4 patients and finding I had kicked my jug of water off the table onto the patient in the next bed. Well he was a Tottenham fan. .
This sort of thing went on for about 5 months after coming around after sedation.
Its not all bad being ill is it ant you can still have a laugh along the way.
It sounds like were very lucky to have you around ant, it sounds as though you had one foot inside the pearly gates while I was just ringing the bell.
I can only imagine the condition you were in after such a long time sedated, I was out for 1 month and lost 3 1/2 stone in weight and had no muscle and very very weak lungs so the come back was a massive task but one luckily I was able to make.
I also remember the tracia and no drink, they used to give me ice cubes to suck which tasted like it was sent from heaven but I did set everyone into a panic when I bit a chunk out of a twister ice lolly that I was aloud to lick only under strict orders from Matron.
Hi Dall yes I was very very lucky to have come through and be with every one today before they got me to theater my Aneurysm had blown and I had lost over 1/2 my body mass in blood I was told I was put on a heart lung machine and my body had to be cooled rapidly the first 3 weeks of recovery I owe my life to kidney dialysis I too lost a great deal of weight and muscle tone the first 2-3 weeks of recovery in the nursing home was bed to chair during the day and vice versa at night . They washed my bottom half while I was on my bed then two nurses got me up walked me to my sink for me to finish of then I was taken to the lounge and one of the carers there took it upon himself to help me (using a rolator) to get walking the first day was just an introduction to my instrument of torture with a sign on it "welcome to hell" he then took the sign off and stuck it back on my desk chair and I was given X number of weeks to repatriate my self with that sign. But I did it 2 weeks before Christmas.
I'd not like to get half way through a book and then expire...I'd be so cross if I missed out on oodles of money!
Vashti. It was defininatly the drugs! My mum was in hospital and she kept chucking food on the floor. I asked her why and she said 'It is for the big black dog over there'. I had another friend who was on heavy drugs and she was hallucinating like crazy.
The good thing is you sound like you were very laid back about it - so maybe they had given you sedatives as well. Glad you are better now. coughalot x
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Could have brought the ginger kitten for your Mums big black dog to play with...lol
I find it amazing what you guys have been through...and you can talk and laugh about it all !! clearly you almost went elsewhere !! you are all very brave, and I admire you tremendously. xx roo-roo
Oh heavens...I didn't think I was in the least bit brave at all...had no idea how ill I was so didn't worry about that...just far away in la-la land really!
Thanks for sharing this with us Vashti. What fantastic things our minds can make us believe. I had a reaction with steroids whilst in hospital with pneumonia. At first I new it was hallucinations, after all it's beyond belief to have an army of ants marching across the floor and up the wall. Told Docs. and they didn't seem to worry but things got worse and they sent a psychiatrist! I said the woman in the next bed had her husband in bed with her all night, nurses even gave him a bucket a pee in! Then a helicoptor arrived to take him to the wedding venue and he climbed out the window and went down a ladder The nurses were hiding all the bridesmaids in a side room but I could see because of the position of the bed. I got out of bed and saw the ladder. The psychiatrist took me to the window to show me there was no ladder but I insisted it was a big cover up. She then went through routine questions where I am? what day is it? and promptly left saying I was was dreaming. Problem was I was so upset that no-one would believe me I demanded I was going home. I got dressed but had the sense not to pull out the drips and kept asking them to take it out. All i got was wait a minute we're busy. I was even planning to get aTaxi to my daughters as I knew my husband would be livid that I had discharged myself. All this time I was just left crying my eyes out. After about an hour or so they came and made sit on the bed and calmed me down and I decide to stay but was adament all day that this had happened. What is amazing that you can remember these episodes so vividly in my case nearly 2 years since it happened. Good luck and hoping you are now well barnowl
It isn't always down to the drugs either. My son was born by c-section and I was put back on the ward within a day or so; one night this big blonde-haired doctor came in and told me I was being transferred to a nearby nursing home. I thought 3.00 a.m was a peculiar time to be doing this but I dutifully got out of bed and began emptying my locker. A nurse passing by asked what on earth I was doing and fell about laughing when I told her; she took me into the nurses room, gave me a cuppa and said it was quite common after any kind of surgery to have these hallucinations. It was absolutely real to me, and I swear I'd recognise that doctor if I ever saw him again!
I think adrenalin may have a similar affect.My last ambulance journey was weird,I saw blue lights reflecting in shop windows and heard muffled neee naw.I asked the paramedic if it was us she said yes you,re quite unwell,this after telling me to lie down in case she had to give me CPR.I found it quite exciting through the struggle to breathe and my heart pounding away.Not something I wish to go through again in a hurry mind you lol. D.
Wow Vashti! or should I say Sylvester, I DID Isaw a Puddy-tat! I'm so glad you are over your emergency, it was some trip you were on! It reminded me of my dear ole Ma when she came through ICU and was put on a ward, she really thought she was flying an airplane and insisted on holding her handbag! she could see people in the corner of the ceiling I thought she would never be the same again and that she'd suffered brain damage when she stopped breathing but within weeks she was herself again enjoying the crossword in the paper each day! Just you stay well now and off those drugs in particular lol! huff xxx
Wow some stories there. How about a title of 'There and Back Again'?
My mum had to go to a care home after leaving hospital. She kept throwing stuff on the floor but I don't think it was because of a big black dog. I think she was protesting at being in a care home and obviously thought they would chuck her out back home. Bless her coughalot x
I don’t know the drugs you were on, but I might have an explanation, if you’d care to read it. You might prefer to keep out so not to spoil the memories you had.
My wife suffers from bipolar disease with schizoaffective disorders. She has very vivid fears (she is in hospital for treatment). The explanation given is that her dopamine level is haywire. That means that she lives very often in a dream-like state that is produced by an excess of dopamine. Unfortunately with her, they tried to give her Clozapine, but it damaged her kidneys. So she can have an alternative drug, but it doesn’t control her dopamine level well.
That’s the scientific background.
However, there are reports of people having had near death experience. I don’t think they are the same as a excess of dopamine, but it may be facilitated by this.
The kitten might have come unexpected one night. Keep the spirit up. Cheers, Mic
Thank you Mic...I'm sad to hear about your wife...I do hope she is well cared for and loved by the staff in the hospital where she is...
I had a sudden collapse due to a severe chest infection and retaining carbon dioxide...no idea what the drugs were...I was incubated and in a coma for a week but remember nothing of that at all...probably just as well!
My very best wishes to you and your wife.
Transplants in Donegal !!!!! Powerful stuff you were on indeed Vashti
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And I thought it perfectly reasonable...at the time!
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Janexx
I Can Have A Kitten...Or Two !
My Nan has COPD and I need some advice - I had a post on the BLF Community website too
Stories from a hospital volunteer - Mon 23 January 2023
