Life after Marriage....................Life in a Nutshell

[KingoftheCocktails]

............Life after Marriage...............................Life in a nutshell

A techie woman writes to the IT Technical support

Dear Tech Support

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to HUSBAND 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slow down in the OVERALL SYSTEM PERFORMANCE, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0

In addition HUSBAND 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as ROMANCE 9.5 and PERSONAL ATTENTION 6.5and the installed undesirable programs such as NEWS.5.0,MONEY3.0and ESPN 4.1

CONVERSATION 8.0 no longer runs. and HOUSEKEEPING 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried NAGGING 5.3 to fix these problems to no avail

What can I do?.

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The IT Helpdesk responds.

Dear Madam

First keep in mind,BOYFRIEND 8.0 is an ENTRETAINMENT PACKAGE while HUSBAND 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM

Please enter command;I THOUGHTYOULOVEDME.HTML and try to download TEARS 6.2 and do not forget to install the GUILT 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed HUSBAND 1.0 should automatically run the applications JEWELLERY 2.0

and FLOWERS 3.5

However,remember,overuse of the above applicatin can cause HUSBAND 1.0 to default to SILENCE 2.5 or BEER6.11.0 Please note that BEER 6.1 is a very bad programe that will downloadwith SNORING LOUDLY(Beta version)

Whatever you do, DO NOT in any circumstances install MOTHER-IN-LAW (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not do attempt to reinstall the BOYFRIEND 5.0 programe.These are unsupported applications and will crash HUSBAND 1.0

In summary HUSBAND 1.0 is a great programe but it does not have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.You might consider buying additonal software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend COOKING 3.0 and GOOD LOOKS 7.7

Good luck Madam!

KOTC

BREATHE EASY= FRIENDSHIP

Recommended---join Breathe Easy

Details from BLF Helpline 03000 030 555 Mon - Fri 9am 5pm

[Hidden]

Excellent, King. Enjoyed that and want to pass on. Shattered tonight. Went to the chemo clinic with husband. Offspring usually take turns but both away. Next door to the Chest Clinic - old stamping ground for me. love Annieseedx

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden]

Sleep well annieseed. Love to you

KOTC xxx

[wowsa]

Very clever and well thought out KOTC. I suppose it does demonstrate the advisability of trying out as many systems as you can before you opt to buy one!

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to wowsa]

Cheeky! wowsa xxx

[appyalison]

Brilliant KOTC. Is there a husband 1.0 upgrade? Or, do we need to suppkement with something round and blue? Alison

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to appyalison]

Is that one of those tablet things? Alison

[appyalison in reply to KingoftheCocktails]

Could be king. I have a blue tablet I am using to type this reply! Alison

[Hidden]

Great! Did you forget the trade ins??? xxx

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Hidden]

Yep.Didn.t think of that!!!Wndells

[Toci]

Nice one, Your Majesty. x

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Toci]

You are a nice subject Toci

[undine]

Brilliant - thank you xx

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to undine]

You are welcome my dear undine