I did something today that has made me feel very, very GOOD!! . My daughter and her boyfriend had been out for a cycle ride on my old bike and my wifes matching bike.
These two bikes had been hanging up in the garage for 3 years now collecting dust, I know this because the last time I rode my bike was when my illness had just started to show its ugly head.
Three years ago, virtually to this day I cycled up through the estate where I live, which is on the side of the Malvern Hills and the one section is extremely steep. I clearly remember getting to the top without dismounting, looking back down the hill at my wife who was pushing her bike and thinking to myself I'm fitter than Iv'e been in years. Not wishing to tempt fate I also thought maybe I should touch wood. Well there was no wood within reach so I stupidly didn't bother. If any of you out there are superstitious then take heed from this because only day's later I tried to cycle up the same hill on my way to work but this time it was different, very different. I was exausted at the bottom of the hill and had to push my bike up as my wife had done days before.
Something was wrong, I was puffing like a freight train and felt awfull. What had happened?
It was downhill from there on, just over a week later I was in ITU fighting for my life on a ventilator.
If only I had touched wood, could things have been different?. I guess the answer to that question will never be known but if ever I think I'm tempting fate in anyway, form, or fashion then I'm hunting for some wood to touch, however far away it may be.
Anyway back to the bike, as my bike was there and I was feeling good after the morning Breathe Easy session, this crazy impulse to see if I could still ride my old bike came to mind.
Iv'e been riding my exercise bike on a regular basis, so surely if I kept to a level piece of road I'd be all right with the oxygen on full blast. Ok, the main obstacle was convincing my daughter that I would be able to do it, so with a lot of pursuasion she agreed only if she could run along side me. Well that was it, there was no turning back now, I pushed my bike out to the road side, climbed on and away to go. There was no wobble or crash, I felt so exited and thrilled at what I was doing with my daughter running by my side and for a split second In a weird flashback I remembered when I tought her to ride her first bike 16 odd years ago. The roll was slightly distorted now as this shouldn't be happening, it was my daughter running next to me and looking so pleased that her dad was riding a bike
I never thought in my wildest dreams that such a moment would ever arise but It brought tears to my eye's.
Its taken me 3 years to ride that bike again and I'm still buzzing now, it kind of feels like Iv'e just passed my driving test or done something miraculous. Iv'e laid a ghost to rest today and will no doubt be aiming for greater distances in the near future as it is downhill to Upton Upon Severn ,6 mile away and there is a number of river side pubs that are calling out to be visited by a crazy man on his bike who just happens to also be on the lung transplant list.
If you feel like doing something miraculous then don't let anything stop you, go for it, the feeling of achievement is amaizing!! There's a lot of love out there people so get on your bikes and go find it.
Tony.
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There is only one thing wrong that I can see and that is if it downhill to Upton Upon Severn and a few pubs on the way HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO GET HOME
Oh yeh, well I'm sure somebody would come and rescue me.(wife) Can you take bikes on a bus as I have a bus pass which includes a carer (bike) comes free?
Oh no you've made watery stuff come out of my eyes! What an inspiration - I can only begin to imagine how you felt. Those little glimpses of how things were can truly be life affirming rather than depressing. A wonderful story - thank you.
Thanks Marie, That weird twist of my daughter running along side me ready to catch me if I fell also made me cry at the time and when I wrote it.
I'm crying again now just thinking about it but its a moment I will treasure.
Good thinking, Jandan! I was reflecting on the fact that I used to cycle a lot,then had a moped during the days before they went off the road. The freedom of the latter was great. Shame on me that I never had the need to drive. Nothing better for me than to float down the lanes of remote Herts lane. Did try a pub stop once, but not a good idea on your own - got chatted up by a bloke.
Aaawww what a lovely post, it really set my imagination going. The carefree days of riding a bike, the feeling of freedom, I remember. It`s made me feel like borrowing my daughters bike and having a go. See you at the pub!
Dammit Tony, you nearly had tears coming out of my eyes. I remember teaching my oldest daughter to swim when she was about 5. I loved your role reversal bit, It comes to us all. We look after them when they are young and when we get old they put us in a home. lol
Cheers Toci, Its amaizing what a little determination can do and a oxygen back pack. Lord only knows what the neighbours were thinking but they have all been very supportive to me and my family. I'm sure they were all watching ready to dial an ambulance if it all went badly wrong. .
Hey kim, I have my moments of doom and gloom and feeling sorry for myself as we all do but I can usually kick them into touch pretty quick and get on with the next challenge.
Thanks Kim xx. If you have an old bike, dust it off, blow up the tyres and give it a go.
Yes Miss kimmy! I wen't to the pub after but as I'm on the old antibiotics and a diet, I had to settle for a diet coke and a game of pool.
My eye sight was damaged when in ITU with a cold sore type virus but It seems I can still see a pool ball as I finished with a 3 ball clearance of the table and the last pot was a beauty. Get in!
Your right when you say how we all support each other and hopefully Iv'e done a little to help those who are having a bad day as they will when its my turn for a lift.
Well Mr Miracle man you've done it again. Well done and a big hug to go with it. Having trouble seeing the screen, still bawling. You always manage to do something inspiring when I need that kick to get me out of an I feel sorry for me moment. You are a very special person, thanks for being you
Tony, that was a fantastic tale. What a joy for you. There is one thing I need to mention though, forget about the 'touch wood' thing. The original expression is ' touch wood, no good. Touch iron to rely on' everyone gets it wrong!
I'm still looking at that walk up the hills you know.
Hi Lynne, that walk on the hills will happen one day I'm sure and thanks for the wood- iron thing, Iv'e never heard it before but I wish that I touched the frame of my bike that day as superstition may have saved me from the mess I'm in now eh'
Hi Tina, this seems to be a place where miracle people meet up and have a good old cry or laugh. I'm so glad I found this site even though it is a bit of a roller coaster of emotions at times that we all share. Where else could I chat to inspirational people like you knowing that I'm fully understood.
I know were ill, well very ill, but had we not fallen ill we would not have experienced such kindness from so many people. I always try and see the positive's and this is surely one of them.
I feel we both have an understanding as we have walked a similar path. I'm further down the road than you and can assure you that your condition will improve as long as you keep working hard.
Its 3 years on for me now and I'm still finding improvement when everyone around me are looking for deterioration.
You and I are going to prove the so called experts wrong ok!
Tony xxx
Keep working on your fitness and who knows what you can achieve!!
Forget matron Homebreeze, I have a plan to bottle it and sell it. This time next year i'll be a millionaire eh'. Ha Ha.
Well done Tony, enjoy your future ventures.
I found cycling easier than walking a lot of the times, the bit most difficult for me was getting on and off the saddle when the bike came to a stop to give way to traffic or pedestrians, I found having to do that a few times on a journey more tiring than the actual cycling. I do miss it and would be fine if there was no traffic or pedestrians to give way to (and no hills)
Its funny you should mention the getting on and off bit as when I was pulling up outside my house the thought of falling off did come to mind especially when my skin is paper thin because of the long term steroids. ooh oucha!
Maybe a full leather suit would be advisable on my next venture eh'
To fall off is a no no Tony, don't go there, p l e a s e, it made me think twice about riding the bike especially as we age and thinking of brittle bones etc.
So when you get on the bike for your next fun ride, get lots of cushions strapped around you to be sure of a soft landing
Perhaps if I cover myself in tyres like the Michelin man that'll do the trick.I dont think the wife will be too happy if I nick all the house cushions and I'm not sure about the look either.
Its never too late to learn. I quite fancy one of those electric ones that take you up the hills with ease. Its cheating for healthy people but not for us lot on here.
I've given thought to those tri wheelers too Lynne
but decided against as I didn't fancy riding it on the main road and would be two wide for the pavement with pedestrians. What we need is a lung patients lane only
Hi Tony Well done, You will do anything to get of the transplant list and why not you have encouraged me to look out the bike the way things are going I could cycle down and you could cycle up to me and we could meet at the border and have a pint and a game of pool, was reading your blog to Fran she took one look at me and said don't even think about the BIKE I swear she is bloody physic m8.MC
Hi MC, they want to wrap us in cotton wool and who can blame them but hey there's times when risks have to be taken and today was one of those days for me.
I didn't plan it but the bike was there and I was feeling good so the time was right.
You gave me a good laugh with your Frans comment and I bet she's gone out to find your old bike and hide the wheels just in case. Well with your record its probably a good idea.
If you do try and sneak out on it I'm sure physic Fran will be waiting around the first corner and you'll have to look out then eh'.
If I set out now we'll have that drink and a game of pool at the border in June 2014, see you there MC.
Well done dad, you make everyone around you so proud:). Even people who you've never met face to face. The supportive comments on this blog have put a smile on my face and a tear in my eye xxx
Well done to you ... about time I cleaned the dust off my bike and gave it a spin, at least if I get breathless Id have something to lean on. Your right about role changes as we get older we always see our children as just that, children, its only in times like this that we realize they have grown up.
Oh WOW . . now I purchased myself a brill mountain bike nearly two years ago. I managed although' felt exhausted for a while after. Rode my bike for less than 6 months and now I am too afraid to even try. I seem to have lost a bit of balance :0(. so my lovely (expensive) bike is sat in my garage, Was thinking of selling it. BUT you have made me think of an exercise bike. I walk a fair bit, perhaps this will give me the opportunity to dust it down and give it a go.
Thank you for that.
xx Ros xx
What is your lung capacity? Mine is 40% . . . waiting with baited breath. ('scuse the pun)
Hi Ros, my lung capacity is 50% but my gas exchange is 25% which is the important bit. I am in effect running on 25% lung function but its amaizing if you get the rest of your body as fit as possible what you can do on such low oxygen levels. Getting your body to its optimum weight is also very important too.
Go carefull when you get that bike out but don't be afraid to do it.
Hi Caroll, The gas exchange is what the lungs are for. Its where the oxygen is passed into the blood and the carbon dioxide is removed from the blood. The scarring on my lungs is causing a sort of blockage between my lungs and my blood hence poor gas exchange between the two.
hi cs 3week ago went to gp nurse for the new inhaler wats out got elkira gunuair the other is seebri ,i had to ask her they was out wen really shouldnt they tell us wouldnt have no if not for ppl on hear.anyrd she said i have lung age of 90 im 63 an will be on oxy soon ,told her my oxy is 98.didnt want to no my lung age really.i alsohave hitus wats been playin me up bad goin hope hoz nx week for tubes up my nose with a camera on the end then home then bak nx day ,then bak to thameside 4 week later for resultsall in all its been 29 week bak an fourth,wen ppl say its just over there i think ye for u not me
Oh . . I do not know what my gas capacity is? Another question to ask my GP on next visit.
Yay, you have given me hope. I do walk my dog three times a day to stay as fit as possible. AND with a few puffs, manage the stairs.
I will look up exercise bikes on ebay, taking your advice. Do hope I can get out on the real thing again. Wasn't that long ago I did the London to Brighton with my daughter. Sobs.
Good morning Tony it was lovely waking up and reading your blog,it brought a lump to my throat! you have done bloomin marvelous,I can see why you are your daughters hero! you are inspirational!! xxx
This has inspired me to get on my bike again! I use to cycle quite a bit until I broke my ankle 3 years ago & I sold my bike. Since I have been diagnosed with emphasyma a couple of months ago, I have been considering taking up cycling again. I have a sister-in-law that can lend me a bike so I think some gentle rides are on the horizon for me. Keep up the good work & enjoy the 'rest stops' on the way!
Great news Rastagilly, thats made my blog seem really worth while. We all have our moments of inspiring each other and it would be great to think your back on your bike with a little help from me.
Go on do it but go careful first time out eh' and save any pub visits untill you've got a few miles on the clock.
Tony, or as mattcass calls me the Chris Hoy of Malvern.
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