Not feeling it..

[servewithmintsauce]

Christmas is my favourite time of year. I love it. I love the carols and the lights especially at night, and the presents and trees and decorations and the special drinks at Starbucks and the dark nights and just..everything.

I've been excited for Christmas since June. At college, we have a Christmas Mass at a lovely church in town, and an Advent Vigil at the college chapel which is calm and peaceful and yet filled with this weird Jesusy anticipation. I'm in a world-renowned youth choir and I signed up for both busking sessions this year (although I gave up my place on one to let someone else could have a go), and we have extra rehearsals in early December, which are a riot! There's Christmas shopping, and our special advent calendar we've had for years and years with special plush figures you stick on with Velcro and a big star for Christmas Eve which plays 'Silent Night'..about a hundred times before it goes up for real!

And I was the same this year, until I ended up in hospital for two weeks. In those weeks, I missed 3 Christmas rehearsals with youth choir, the Advent Vigil, the Christmas Mass, both busking sessions, and obviously the first half of advent.

Now I'm out, and I don't feel like it's nearly Christmas. I still have to get a tree and do the Carol Concerts with choir which are usually amazing..but I am not feeling it. Christmas is my favourite time of year but I look at the manger scenes and the lights and trees and tinsel and feel..absolutely nothing. No warmth. No excitement. No anticipation. None of that hush or secrecy. Nothing.

I've tried telling my parents that I'm 'not feeling it this year' and that I'm just not feeling 'festive', but because we are currently working on the house, they say that none of us are and it's probably because I'm getting older. I don't think they realise that it's only all changed since hospital.

What can I do???

[Hidden]

But I think the problem here is that the run up to Christmas is an important part of Christmas for you (and for many). The anticipation builds as each successive event happens. This year, because you were in hospital, you have missed out on some of those events which would normally act as part of your build up to your Christmas, so you haven't got the same sense of excitement you would usually expect to have.

I'm afraid that such things do happen - things change, patterns change. They've happened to me, and to many people I know. They are, I'm afraid, a part of life.

Seven years ago Christmas was very nearly completely wrecked for me, for my immediate family and also some relations we were supposed to be spending Christmas with when I went down with a very bad viral infection the week before Christmas. I very nearly ended up in hospital because, almost inevitably, my asthma went completely out of control. I can still remember sitting in my GP's room, after she had checked temperature, chest, oxygen sats, watching as she considered what course to take. I think if it hadn't been two days before Christmas I might well have ended up being taken to hospital and was told quite candidly that without oral steroids (which I was not keen on) I would end up there anyway. It was the second time I had been very unwell at Christmas in ten years. And this particular Christmas was not the only casualty as far as celebrations were concerned. The day after I (and my elder son too) went down with this bug, that same son heard that he had been offered a place at Oxford (and as he already had his A levels it was an unconditional offer). We were both feeling too unwell to really care. We managed to get to the relatives for Christmas (just as well as we were providing the turkey) and despite feeling completely zonked out by all the meds (I'd not been on that many since I was a young child) there was still a lot of pleasure to be had - though I missed out on the midnight service.

What can you do? Well, you've still got nine days before Christmas. Enjoy what you do have - and try not to linger on what you've missed.

[Emmajayne75]

Got to agree with Maggie on this one as for me the preparation from Christmas is almost as exciting as the day it's self, I've not had to stay in hospital but I've been having a rough time for almost a month, most days I've not been able to do much of anything, so I feel that not only is Christmas not going to be 'Christmas' because I'm not going to be able to do everything (major mum thing) but that I've missed out on the fun of it too, I think all u can do is try and enjoy what u can do and not stress about the thingsu can't do, feelings do change as u get older but rather than focus on what's lost look at what is still good

[Hidden]

Hi that's sad to here I love Xmas my birthday is Xmas day am on my second week in Brompton after being home for just a month but you have such great people here to help you I know once I get out everyday I treat like Xmas

[starveycat]

Just be kind to yourself and wait till you are in that Carol concert, and when you start to sing Oh Come All You Faithful, then you should feel it, also if you go to Midnight Mass and the organist starts playing those amazing Carols then it will come. You have been to hell and back and you are a very brave young man so hang in in there it will happen, that man in the red suit has something special for you ♥♥♥♥

[Jokir152]

Chill, slow down, delegate and there's nothing you can do .

I have been in similar situation myself for pass 10 weeks missed a whole school term as a nursery nurse and miss my little people terrible.

The hardest part is getting your own head around things.

That's what Iv found.

So Iv internet shopped, for gifts food. And delegated other things. As overdoing things Iv found sets you back.

Sadly these things just need to take its course.

Learning this has been a challenge .