I had read in the paper about the search for her and it makes me shudder. I tried to commit suicide multiplies times in a variety of different ways after the birth of my daughter, it makes me realise just how lucky I was. I feel so guilty for her as I feel so well now comparatively. You feel like you want to put the feeling in a bottle and promise you feel better again one day. On the same note I still remember after the psychosis the most crippling depression I have ever felt.