Relapse

[Fowler01]

Hi I’m 16 months PP and doing much better and feeling more myself. Taking 1/2 a milogram of lorazepam some days to help with anxiety as some days I do struggle and just don’t feel right. My daughter hasn’t slept good this week and my mind is going into overdrive and been thinking about what happens if i relapse. I’m terrified of it and just don’t know if I would spot the signs. I knew last time I wasn’t right and phoned the GP for an appointment but within hours I was bed ridden and not able to function and I don’t remember any of this. I would like to know about your experiences and how long since any of you last experienced PP and whether you’ve relapsed . Thanks

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hi Fowler01,

It's good to hear from you and that you've been doing ok.

I think this is something we all worry about and I hope reading some shared experiences will be helpful. My own experience is that I had PP after my first son was born in 2012 and to date I've not experienced any kind of relapse since then. I'm aware that this doesn't mean I never will and think having a bit of a plan in place is a good idea.

I definitely worried a lot, especially earlier on, whenever my sleep was affected (which with a baby / small child is obviously quite often!) but as time went by and I had periods of less sleep and got through them without getting unwell, that helped me to feel less anxious... My sleep is usually the first thing to be affected when I'm worrying about something and it's a horrible vicious cycle then isn't it, knowing you need sleep and the worry stopping that very thing. I do try to reassure myself that although I know lack of sleep was a factor when I had PP, there were other things at play as well.

Sleep and rest are very important so if you do get the opportunity to catch up on some rest in the day when the nights have been bad, do try and take advantage of that.

With regard to spotting the signs, have you discussed this (or could you) with a partner (and/or close friend/family member) - what you remember experiencing as symptoms when you were becoming unwell with PP, and then also what they remember? Talking it through with them, and your current worries, might help to reassure you that there are things that would maybe act as warning signs, and that those around you would hopefully spot these as well?

I think we're all different in what our stressors might be, and how we manage them. It might help you to try and identify things that make you feel more anxious and stressed and then also any activities that you find help to calm/lift your mood and relax you... This could then maybe form the basis of a bit of a wellness plan/toolkit where you can 'check in' with how you're doing and if you feel things are dipping, try to reduce those things that stress you and increase the things that calm you?

If you (or those around you) did ever feel that things weren't right and that you needed to reach out for support, having points of contact written down so you know you'd be able to do this quickly might help reassure you as well.

I don't know if that's any help. I always feel much better when I have a lot in my head to write it down and 'get it out' - so maybe just thinking some of these things through and making a plan that you can keep somewhere should you ever need it would help to reassure you a bit. I'm sure others will have some good ideas and experiences to share.

I hope your daughter's sleep settles again very soon, these patches are rough but they will pass

Sending very best wishes, take good care and do write here any time.

Jenny x

[Fowler01 in reply to Jenny_at_APP]

Hi Jenny, thanks for your reply. I’m really pleased to hear you’ve had no relapse I do hope it stays that way. Yeah I hope with time as you say that I become less worried about it. And I guess you can’t live life in fear. Thanks I will speak to my husband and family members about warning signs as it is all a bit muddled. I will also make sure I have all the contact numbers at hand if I do start to feel like I need help. I find I’m quite a calm person generally and don’t really get stressed but I do tend to worry a lot and that’s my down fall. I will start writing out my worries again as I did this when I was in the thick of recovery. Thanks for your help much appreciated. Take care x

[RachelK_at_APP Moderator]

hi Fowler,

I had pp back in 2016 with the birth of my daughter and I remember around the 18 month mark starting to feel more like ‘myself’ again. It’s a good place to be so I hope this continues for you.

When my daughter was 2, she started waking in the night again for no apparent reason and once I’d got her back to sleep, I couldn’t get back to sleep myself! And I worried how the lack of sleep would affect my mental health.

Have you got a partner to support you when the nights get bad? It can be hard but trying to share the bad nights can be helpful.

And the days you can and your daughter naps, try and get some rest yourself.

If I’d had a few bad nights and could feel how tired I was I used to get in bed when the kids went to bed.

Like Jenny said, a plan for if you start showing any signs of a relapse would be helpful, hopefully there is someone you can talk about this with?

Take care

Rachel

[Fowler01 in reply to RachelK_at_APP]

Hi Rachel, thanks for getting back to me. Pleased to hear you started to feel more yourself around this time too and I hope this has continued for you. I went to bed the other night with the kids and thankfully they slept all night and feeling so much better. It’s really terrible what lack of sleep does to you! I’m going to chat a plan through with my husband who’s always been a great support and probably the first to notice when I’m not myself. Thanks