Any advice?: Hi, me again! I've posted... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis

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Any advice?

Anna_10
Anna_10

Hi, me again! I've posted a few times on here. I suffered with ppp 7 yrs ago this Xmas. I'm currently helping a neighbour who suffered with ppp 14 yrs ago. She has had a lot going on in the last year and is suffering again. I've taken her to the Drs lots of times and been in contact with mental health crisis team. It just feels like no one is doing anything, because she is not a threat to anyone or herself? She is doing/ saying random things. Wondering around the village saying random things. She has been calling the ambulance twice for help, when nothing was really physically wrong, ( but she was convinced there was somrthing wrong). Now today she called the fire brigade, as she thought the neighbours house was on fire?! Umpteen phone calls later, STILL NO one is doing anything! It is MASSIVELY affecting me, as it's bringing all the horrid memories back from 7 years ago. (I also tried to call the fire brigade, as I thought my Mum's house was burning down.) What does it take for mental health to assess her face to face?! Sorry for the huge post but I am struggling to cope with this. I'm trying not to get involved too much, but can't help it, as I've been there, I just want to help her! As no one else seems to be! Thanks for listening. From Anna xx

25 Replies
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Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hi Anna_10

First of all I’d like to say what a generous neighbour you are, so kind and caring. I’m sorry her ongoing struggle is affecting you so much. It’s really important to be mindful of triggers, which I’m sure you are but I think you need to take a step back. I think after suffering PP, when we eventually get our mental health back, we need to look after ourselves.

I imagine with the current restrictions it is very difficult for your friend to be seen face to face? I’m not sure where to direct you as you seem to have exhausted every avenue but is it possible the MIND charity could help your neighbour at mind.org/? Is there a church in the village which might be able to find support or does your neighbour have family?

I’m sure there will be other mums here with their ideas. I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful. I can understand why you would want to help but please try to put your health and wellbeing first and go for a review with your own GP if needed.

Thinking of you ..... take good care of ‘you’. We are always here to isten.

Anna_10
Anna_10 in reply to Lilybeth

Thank you so much. I will try the mind charity. X

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer in reply to Anna_10

Thank you Anna_10, please take care of yourself. X

Jenny_at_APP
Jenny_at_APPAdministrator

Hello Anna

It’s so lovely that you’ve been looking out for your neighbour like this.

I completely agree with lilybeth that you need to look after you, it must be really hard if it’s bringing back your own experience too.

Does your neighbour recognise that she might need some help? Does she have anyone else who can advocate for her? It obviously is a very strange and difficult time at the moment but there should be some local support available. Mind is a great resource so hopefully that will help. Others here may well have other good ideas and suggestions of where to try and signpost.

Do look after yourself.

Best wishes,

Jenny x

Anna_10
Anna_10 in reply to Jenny_at_APP

Thank you, yes she has a few friends in the village that are helping her too. She hasn't got much close family, as she's a single mum and her Dad died in April and her mum is elderly and disabled. She does try to help, bless her. Thanks again for all your help and advice xx

Frankieb
FrankiebVolunteer

Hi Anna

You are very kind but for the sake of your wellbeing I hope you are able to pass some of this on. Has she got a partner, brother or sister?

Can you encourage her to contact her GP?

Unfortunately things seem so stretched at the moment but I cannot believe the dots are not being joined here. This poor lady, and you too.

Are there kids involved? Sorry if you said that and I missed it.

Take care, I'm so sorry it is bringing back bad memories

Xx

Anna_10
Anna_10 in reply to Frankieb

Hi, thank you. She is a single mum with a 14 yr old boy. Her brother lives away and is not helpful! Her Mum is trying, but failing too! Er Dad sies in April. It's just so hard to see her suffering and no one seems to be doing anything! Luckily 2 other ladies from the village are helping now too. Which is great. Last night she was wondering around the street again. Xx :0(

Hannah_at_APP
Hannah_at_APPAdministrator

Hi Anna_10, it's really hard to see someone struggling and I'm sorry to hear it's difficult for you too, bringing back the memories of your own experience of PP. I don't have much to add to the others who have posted here but wonder whether your neighbour has been in contact with the Samaritans as another listening ear? As well as phone support they can be emailed (jo@samaritans.org) and there is more info on this link: samaritans.org/how-we-can-h...

Shout also offers a text support service and has some more useful things on their website:

giveusashout.org/

I hope that writing here has been helpful to you - looking after our own mental health after being unwell is really important. We're always here to "chat" too. I'm sure your neighbour really appreciates all you are doing for her and I hope things get easier for her soon, take care, xx

Thank you, it's great that you guys are here, this is why I got in contact. I need to talk to people about it. Thank you for all listening, understanding and for all your kind words. Xx

It seems like there is a limited amount you can do if she needs a mental health assessment and isn't getting one. I'm sure you've already been more help and support than you realise.

Is she on a waiting list? Has she been referred by the GP to the mental health team (not the crisis team)? How old is this person - I'm asking because HRT can have a massively calming effect on mood.

The online support suggested in the previous post sounds good. Look after yourself. I understand about the memories. Is there someone else who can advocate for her, who doesn't have those memories? Can you think of a way of backing off slightly, to protect yourself?

I had pp 13 years ago, and you've made me think: I've never talked about it. Maybe I should.

It's so good to talk!! This is how I survive! She is under a gp and mental health. They are doing telephone assessments but not face to face?! Prob cause of covid?!

She says she'll ring the doctors/ mental health team, but then doesn't. I have to do it, then be with her. Her mind is not in the right place at the mo. My other neighbour is being very supportive now, so hopefully things will get better soon. Thank you to everyone for all your advice xx

Hi Anna_10,

How are you doing today? Bless your heart for being such a kind neighbour and friend. I just wanted to add to the other replies from mums here that it may be a good idea to take a step back, if this situation is triggering such raw memories for you, with the parallels you describe. If you notice any signs of deterioration of your own mental health please don't hesitate in contacting your GP for a checkup. I do appreciate your desire to right this situation, but you can't do it all by yourself, and its not fair on you to champion this at the cost of your own health. I am pleased that other neighbours are stepping in and helping now, hopefully as you say the situation will improve in the next few days.

Do look after yourself Anna_10 and write here whenever you feel like venting, we are all listening

Thank you so much. I have been taking a step back but it us so hard. I chatted to my GP on Mon which helped. Thanks again for e everyone's advi e xxx

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Anna_10

I hope your neighbour now has some professional support and you have been able to step back for your own peace of mind. It’s very kind that you are so thoughtful but please take care of yourself and keep in touch with your GP.

We are all here to listen .... thinking of you. xxx

Thank you. She has stayed one night with her Mum, but has come to live in her house again! I just feel that I'm hitting my head against a brick wall!!! have spent the weekend with my daughter, staying at my best friends. It was so nice to be away from everything . I have on going issues with my Step Daughter too. During times of stress, my OCD and anxiety play up massively. She is staying with us this week and I try to avoid going home. I'm scared to be in my own house. She kicks off if I say or look the wromg way! I've had chats with her and my partner but nothing ever gets resolved. It just feels like I'm going round and round! Thank you to everyone for always being here when I need u all the most.

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Anna_10

Thank you so much for sharing. I am so sorry that after spending a nice weekend away you are faced with stress at home and the return of your neighbour. Being scared to be in your own house must be awful for you.

Do you think it might be an idea to have another chat with your GP as you did last week and felt better? Take good care of yourself.

Yes, I'll ring her 2mos. Thank you again xx seem to be having a funny 5 mins at the mo?!! 😭😫

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Anna_10

I hope you can have a restful sleep. Take care.

Hello Anna_10,

Sorry to hear that after a restful weekend, things are back to more of the same this week. Hope you manage to have a chat with your GP today. If I may suggest, with all that is going on at the moment, spare half an hour of your day just to do something quietly alone for yourself. Whatever it may be, go for a walk or for a run, some exercise at home, meditation, something creative, a bath, whatever. Something you enjoy only for you.

Take care, we are thinking of you

Thank you. Xx

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Anna

Just wondering how you are and whether you were able to speak to your GP for support? Take care.

Hi,

I've been meaning to write back! My G.P is away for 2 wks, but I did get hold of another lady I speak to at my surgery. Which helped me massively. Thank you for your kind thoughts. I'm better this week, even though I've got a stinking cold, work has been mad and my Mum has been ill!!

It never rains but it pours!! 😫

Good news on my neighbour though, she is being assessed every day and they're waiting for a place at a hospital for her. 🤞🤞. I'm catching up with her Mum at the weekend. Thank you again to everyone for their support and kind words. I'm so grateful for this group. It's just so nice to know that there are people out there that understand. Xxx Thank you x

Hi Anna_10,

I am sorry to hear you have been having a bad cold this week, but I am pleased that your neighbour's situation is being handled at the moment by a mental health team, that must be such a relief for you.

Take the opportunity of the weekend ahead to enjoy a bit, go for a long walk with your partner and your daughter or enjoy a nice night in with a movie and popcorn, maybe? Nurse that cold too, plenty of hot chocolate, fluffy slippers and hot water bottles. I am with you, if there are a thousand things that can go wrong at the same time, they must certainly will.

I hope your mum also feels better soon, you all take care

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Anna_10

Good to hear from you and that you have had a better week, even with a bad cold and life being hectic for you.

I’m glad you reached out to another lady at the surgery while you GP is away for a few weeks.

I think you should be very proud that due to all your efforts on behalf of your neighbour, she is being assessed daily whilst waiting for admission to hospital. How kind that you are also catching up with her mum at the weekend.

As EmiMum suggested, I think you should give yourself time to have a good rest especially as you have a cold. I’m sorry to hear your mum has been ill and hope she feels better soon.

Sometimes if it’s not one thing it’s another 😊 so take good care of yourself. We are all here to listen ... thanks for sharing.

Thank you both xx ;0)

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