Hope: I just wanted to post this here... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis
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Hope

Bumblebeeee
Bumblebeeee

I just wanted to post this here as I know you guys will understand. I have been really struggling the last couple of years. I always felt like I bonded with my baby, but always felt very scared to be alone with her. I didn’t know why. Just felt very on edge all the time. Tonight she just woke up and wanted to get in our bed. She’s nearly 2 now. She looked at me and asked to hold my hand. I felt my heart melt. I felt this amazing feeling of love that I honestly haven’t felt for a long time. I love her more than anything but I think maybe I didn’t bond with her like I thought I had. I’m really hoping this is a breakthrough for me and it’s the start of a better journey. I hope you guys understand. Thank you for always being here ❤️

5 Replies
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Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Bumblebeeee

Thank you so much for posting such a lovely picture. It's very overwhelming ... true love and an unbreakable bond for a lifetime. ❤️

I think it's a confidence thing being scared about being alone when our children are in their early years, I was the same. So much has been overshadowed by such an awful illness and it takes a while to come back, rebuild our confidence and believe in ourselves .... what great women we are going through so much for the love of our family!

We all understand as we have been in that ditch with you, virtually holding your hand or pushing you up.

As you say, I hope this is a breakthrough for you and the start of a better journey. Always remember what an amazing mum you are :) Take care ans stay safe.

Thank you for your lovely replies always. I feel very lucky that I have all your support x

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer
in reply to Bumblebeeee

We are always here Bumblebeeee to listen and support you at anytime .... take care amazing lady. x

What a beautiful photo and moment in your life. You deserve that wave of love and you have made it happen by patiently, determinedly wanting to be there for your gorgeous girl. We often so desperately want to love out babies but find how much they depend on us can be overwhelming, especially when we are feeling depleted, and I remember that fear was really difficult to bear for many months after my son was born. But that doesn't mean you lack a bond or have failed in some way, even if it feels like it at the time. I found it reassuring to discover bonding can happen (and strengthen) any time in a child's life so you haven't missed the boat - and it sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your daughter. Thank you for sharing this experience with us as it has really brightened my day!

Thank you so much ❤️

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