Scared of relapse

[Rangers94]

I'm new here I have suffered postpartum psychosis after having my second baby I've never suffered before with mental health. I was admitted to a mother and baby unit for 8 weeks. Now I have been home for 2 month and I'm so scared of anything happening... does this get easier?? I have already relapsed once and ended up in A&E. I'm on quetiapine and fluoxetine but seem very over energised in the evening recently and hand temours and restless legs anyone else experienced this??

[Jocelyn_at_APP Partner APP]

Hi Rangers94,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for reaching out to us.

I had no previous mental health issues until I had PP either. It does get easier. It takes time and there will be ups and downs but things will get better.

Be kind to yourself, having a baby is a huge adjustment, and then having pp as well...?!! You sound like an amazingly strong woman.

Do you have any support around you? A community team or health visitor? Have you talked to them aboutut how you are feeling and the side effects? I wasn't on that medication, so I can't really comment, but I'm sure others on the forum can give you some insight.

Thinking of you.

Jx

[Rangers94 in reply to Jocelyn_at_APP]

Thank you, yes I do I have an outreach worker and a perinatal mental health worker who come out to see me but my outreach worker wants to discharge me. I'm awaiting a call back from the doctor to discuss my medication. X

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Rangers94

Congratulations on the birth of your second baby So pleased you have reached out to the forum where you will find lots of support and shared experiences. I'm so sorry you suffered PP after your second baby was born. It must have been a very frightening experience but it's good that you received specialist care in the MBU.

I had PP many years ago and was sectioned to general psychiatric care as there were no MBUs then. I think as you have only been home for two months it is very early days for you, especially as you have also relapsed. I can understand that you are worried.

I wonder if you have seen the PP Insider Guide "Recovery after Postpartum Psychosis" at app-network.org/what-is-pp/... which might be helpful to read and there are also shared experiences on the page? There is also a Guide for partners too.

Perhaps you could ask your GP about the medication and whether it might need to be reviewed due to tremors and restless legs? I was prescribed various medications and eventually the right balance was found which worked for me. Do you have support from the Perinatal Mental Health Team? I think they support you until your baby is one year old? It might be an idea to also speak to your CPN if she is still visiting? Recovery does have ups and downs but with good medical care and support you will feel better. Give yourself time to heal from such a traumatic illness and take care.

We are all here to listen.

[Rangers94 in reply to Lilybeth]

Hi thank you, I am awaiting call back from my doctor about my medication. It scares me all the time but I know I will get through it.

[Lilybeth Volunteer in reply to Rangers94]

Hi Rangers94

Thank you for taking time to reply. I hope you will be reassured by your doctor about your medication and perhaps you could discuss the idea that your outreach worker wants to discharge you? It is a worrying time in the early days of recovery but as you say, you will get through it, and we are all here to talk along the way. Take care. x

[Hidden]

Hi Rangers94

Congratulations on the birth of your new baby. I am sorry you are suffering with ppp after what should be such a very happy time.

My daughter had ppp almost six years ago.

Your worries and being scared are completely natural. Your mind and body has undergone major trauma. You have already shown immense strength and determination to be back home with your family. Give yourself time to heal and don't ask too much of yourself. A new baby and a little one to look after takes such energy and patience. Use yours wisely and keep some time aside for yourself.

I hope the doctor can help with the medication. A change may be necessary if you are experiencing side effects.

If you still feel the need for support don't be afraid to ask. Although the road to recovery can be bumpy at times, you will get well again and yours fears will ease.

I am sending you a virtual hug. Enjoy your babies and when you feel low or scared, think how far you have already come. You are a winner.

Love 4mila

[ChloeM83]

My story is very similar to yours. I experienced PP after my second baby also. I was on a inpatient unit for 5 weeks after that. That was almost 3 months ago and I have not had another incidence again. I think it gets easier very slowly. Just know that you are not alone and you will get better. I wish you all the very best.

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello Rangers94,

a warm welcome on this APP site where you find all these amazing mums who care and share their experiences.

Congratulation on the birth of your baby.

When we are suffering with this traumatising illness, the aftercare is vital for recovery.

Experiences do vary. Unfortunately I was very unlucky as there was no MBU nearby.

I thought I never had a mental health condition in my "previous life"...it was fast, busy and hyper...I used to work day and night for years and travelled loads. I thought that was me and my speed!

PPP was out of the blue and my partner did not know why I was so poorly and even the Partnership in my region did not take initiation straight away nor did they want to believe my partner (baby blues)… Unfortunately weeks went by till I received appropriate meds.

All mums have recovered from PPP, - we all just have different journeys in the way how we recover. I needed a bit more help as I had an underlying chronical condition Bi-Polar, which explained my busy life style in the past and my roller coasting mood swings nowadays.

I am happy and lead a fulfilling life.

Look after yourself and allow yourself time to heal...the following helps a lot in my case

journalising, meditation, yoga, reiki, swimming, painting, doing things with my little man, volunteering...

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hello Rangers94

Thank you for posting, you’ve already had some lovely replies

I had PP in 2012 after my first son was born, also with no history of any mental illness prior to that. I spent a month in an MBU.

It’s such a shock and trauma, and being discharged from hospital feels like the start of recovery in a way, or certainly another step, there’s so much more to it than going back home. I know it sounds like a cliché but time really does make a huge difference - I think the more time passes without relapse, the more you start to trust your brain again. It’s early days in your recovery so your medication may still need some adjusting too - was your doctor able to suggest anything to help?

I took Quetiapine and had restless legs with it, it was so annoying! Evenings were the worst and how tired I was seemed to make a difference. Some of the other side effects seemed to settle with time but the restless legs did continue.

You will get better, hang in there.

Sending very best wishes,

Jenny x

[Mamadubois22]

I had postpartum psychosis for 10 months. So far it's been 3 months of me off my meds. It seems like everyday gets harder and more things are starting to make me relapse. I'm following the post to see what others say. I'm sorry this is happening to you

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Rangers94

I hope by now you have spoken to your GP about the side effects of your medication. It's good that you have a perinatal mental health worker visiting. Perhaps the outreach worker might postpone discharging you? It must be very difficult if you feel anxious but I think you will feel more settled as your confidence returns. PP and relapse are so hard but you have come through these awful experiences and I hope your care team has been able to reassure you that you will recover in your own time. Take care ..... we are here for you. x

[Tyshan]

The more time you spend with your baby the easier it gets. But if symptoms appear again like they may I would suggest rest and a GP follow up

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Rangers94

I hope by now things are a little easier and you are having regular medication reviews with your GP. Take good care of yourself and lean on the support around you to talk about how you feel. Sending you a virtual hug x

[Becciandbump in reply to Lilybeth]

Hi, just reading though and seeing if you are okay? I’ve had psychosis many times as I have bipolar but I just wanted to reassure you that things do get easier and I can totally understand your fears about relapse, I worry about relapse because I think the psychosis is so awful that you just fear having to deal with it again. The best thing I’ve found is writing down a list of my relapse indicators, things for me include not sleeping well and needing less sleep, restless (not particularly restless legs but more not sitting still and not resting), rapid thoughts, not eating properly. It’s good to be aware of your triggers but also not overly focus on them sometimes if I am having a bad day I remind myself that unless I have a combination of the triggers all at once it’s likely that I’m just in need of a good sleep. Recovering from psychosis also means gradually learning that you don’t need to look over your shoulder all the time, learning to live in the present and learning not to fear the past or the future but trust that you’re going to be okay and having faith in yourself. Whenever you are feeling anxious about memories of being unwell, or fears of relapse just talking to a friend or loved one can help sometimes I’ve rung my best friend and say I’ve hardly slept I’m worried I’m going to be ill she comes over takes one look at me and says you’re overtired you just need to rest and I’d tell you if you seem ill, just her reassurance is enough sometimes to make me feel a whole heap better xxxx hope you’ve had a nice weekend

Could you mention restless legs to your psychiatrist? I have had this not because i was unwell but as a side effect of medication it might be worth letting them know you are feeling it

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hi Rangers94

I hope you are feeling more confident with support from the perinatal mental health worker and that the outreach worker might have reconsidered discharging you. It's not easy coping with the effects of medication and routine at home but I hope you are managing to rest once in a while. Thinking of you ... take care.

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hi Rangers 94,

Thinking of you, too. I hope you have a support network in place where you can receive guidance and support from health professionals, when being discharged and back home.

When discharged from hospital, I was unable to take care of myself.

My partner was taking care of me and our baby full time. We have had a care plan and my partner was working closely together with the health visitor, care coordinator, GP and Psychiatrist.

Despite being so poorly I managed to wean off my meds and recovered fully from PPP.

Look after yourself.

x