PTSD

[Poulson]

I had my narcissistic mother at my door tonight calling me a liar and saying all sorts of crap about me. I called the police straight away and they are calling to see me later on tomorrow. I have had enough of my family as a whole. My brothers, cousin and mother and dad are going to have to face the music now, like I have been under suspicion, had lies told about me and been through the system and spat out the other side. I have got my husband and he is keeping me strong. My next door is also there for me, she was a witness to what my mother was saying about me. My mother was looking at me with pure evil in her eyes as though she wanted to hurt me. I have had to put up with that all my life from my family.

I told my daughter what I intended doing and at first she said she understood, but within an hour I had my mother knocking at my door. My daughter will probably not talk to me again, but she will have to live with that. I can live with myself, knowing I have done the best for my children.

I intend writing a book about my experiences and see if I can get it published.

My CPN is off sick now. She has been giving me the wrong advice, saying don't press charges against your family. I was ringing her asking for a medical report a psychologist did on me and to discuss a second opinion and to come off my tablets. She never got back to me for a full week and when she finally did she said " I think this is the start of another episode." I blew my top with her and got straight on the phone to the police to report my family. She then apologised and said that the health authority would support me as they have enough evidence in my medical notes about the abuse I have suffered. I read the Bible and have always believed in what goes around comes around, that is why my CPN is off sick now, my ex-husband died of swine flu in 2009 and now my family are going to have to answer.

I have come to the end of the road with my family and the health authority. I have already sued them once for misdiagnosis, do they want me to sue them again?

[Ines19 Volunteer]

Hi Poulson

I can see that you are going through a difficult time at the moment. It seems that your family are struggling to cope as well.

Although I can see where you are coming from and you seem upset about all the stressful events that are happening, my advice is to put yourself first and concentrate on getting better and moving forward. Your family and friends will be there after the storm.

When I went through tuff times it really helped me to focus on myself to move forward. You can make all the decisions in a couple of months when things settle a little.

Take care x

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hi Poulson

I’m sorry you had what sounds like a distressing encounter with your mother last night. I hope things went ok when the police called by today.

I hope it helps to write here about how you’re feeling. I think you’re very brave and really hope that you can find some peace, you’ve been through so much.

Take care, wishing you well,

Jenny x

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello Poulson,

I am so story for your struggles.

In order to get better when struggling with my ups and downs I have to retreat from any hassle and buzzle. In fact I can not cope with difficult people at all. I do not do heavy discussions nor argumentations...I step back and "look from the inside out".

Energy and vitality need to be carefully stored and absorbed and enriched by looking after oneself...the more emotions are accumulated the harder it is to make decisions based on evidence.

Keep journalising for tracking events, reflection and gaining mentally stronger. Diaries are evidence based.

It is OK to take time out and to say no to families.

It is good to be cushioned by the one who loves you most. I like to be selective and only spend time with people who are kind and gentle.

I found inner peace and did not chose to fight...

Wishing you inner peace, look after yourself.

[Chick44nzrn]

Dear Poulson

You are having a very testing and hurtful time and it is so very disappointing that the people you should be able to look to for real validation and support just can’t step up ! You must be so hurt by their attitude.

It’s natural to want to fight back . However I’ve learned through bitter experience that fighting back when your emotions are turbulent and raw( and under the monumental anger you feel vulnerable), the outcome especially with unreasonable unbalanced ? Adversaries, can be terrible and stirs up more unacceptable behaviour , leaving you feeling ill with all the pressure.

Are you able to wait a week or two until the worst of anger and need for revenge subsides a bit? You say mother is a narcissist / she would take delight then in seeing you in a very upset state through her actions ..

the most effective punishment for trouble makers is to disempower them by ignoring their dreadful behaviour . Otherwise you sue them etc etc and probably hurt yourself in the process .

You are clearly a courageous and committed person and deserve some peace , love and kindness , starting with

Treating yourself with these !

Take care Poulson .. thinking of you during this very stressful time

Denise .xx