One Mom's Pain

[help4her]

It has been seven long painful years since my daughter gave birth and within 5 weeks, went from PPD to PPP.Prescribed an abundance of medication inadequate care in a foreign country. Suicide attempts and hallucinations led to alledged attempts on harming baby. Was incarcerated and now living thousands of miles from a child she can not see or have any communication with. Devastation and Pain are her daily portion. She has tried so hard to carry on and I know suicide is still a prevalent thought. There are so many triggers out there for her and I watch with a sinking heart each moment of each day with her. I have tried for years to make sense of all of this and I know that there must be others out there. I was encouraged to hear about the Mom and Baby Units, Since her release this is the exact hope and dream of my daughter to start a facility like this in her part of the world so that what happened to her for sure would never ever happen to another mother and baby. She has tried employment but gets dismissed once her past is discovered. She is prevented from doing what she wants to do more than anything else and that is to help others who need help but is prohibited. She has an unbelievable story of tragedy, trauma, and survival. Many have said that we should write a book but I think that the memories are too painful yet. Can anyone give advice on how or whom to contact to help bring a dream of a Mom and Baby Unit a reality.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello help4her,

I'm so sorry to hear how much pain you feel ... watching your daughter's daily struggle must be so hard for you. I'm sorry I don't have any advice on whom to contact to help bring the dream of a mother and baby unit a reality. They are now popping up slowly in the UK but I imagine it would be even more difficult in a foreign country.

It is heartbreaking to hear that your daughter's PP was treated as more than an illness and she has been separated from her daughter, as you too must miss your grandchild. I can relate to the effects of PP on my mental health as I too experienced frightening delusions, hallucinations and self-harm many years ago.

I wonder if you have heard of Postpartum Support International? The link is postpartum.net and there is a section under 'Postpartum Psychosis Help' which might be a useful contact for advice as there are local groups depending on which country your daughter is based in.

You must have been a tower of strength through the past years for your daughter. I hope you have support for yourself too as this is such a stressful, draining situation. Take care.

[help4her in reply to Lilybeth]

Thank you Lilybeth for your kind words and concern. I have contacted these organizations many times but there was no help for my daughter as there would be now.

What I am looking for is for more awareness to be made in this area and people must know what can happen if it is not acknowledged or properly treated, if you have a partner and all of your friends think you are selfish and evil.

Being far away I did not realize that all of this was happening so I trusted those who were suppose to not only help my grandchild but to take care of my daughter. This is why I feel it is important to get the message out there what can happen so that this will never happen again to another mother, baby and family.

I guess my next step would be to see how many other mothers and families have experienced what we have, I am sure there are many.

So I will ask this question,

Is there any other families that have watched or experienced their daughter or daughter in law or relative incarcerated for an action she might have taken due to Postpartum Phychosis. I would like to hear from you.

Thank you so very much for your time and for all of your extremely important work.

help4her

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hi help4her

I’m so sorry to read about your daughter and the devastation PP has caused.

Can I ask which part of the world you and your daughter live in? Hopefully we can help signpost you to some advice and resources. Things seem to be moving in the right direction in the UK with more MBUs being planned but I know they’re a rarity in a lot of countries.

Hopefully you’ve come across the information and resources on APP’s website - app-network.org - the link lilybeth has provided will also provide a lot of helpful information.

You’ll know more than most the terrible impact PP can have. There’s a lot of shared experience here on the forum - and those of us who were well treated and recovered well will be acutely aware how easily it could have been so different. I hope your daughter will be able to fulfil her dream and find a positive way forward in helping others.

Thinking of you and sending very best wishes.

Jenny x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello help4her

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I'm sorry that you were not aware of all that was happening to your daughter and grandchild, believing they were well taken care of.

I think if such a trauma happens 'out of the blue' it is very difficult for family to understand changes occurring in a new mother after the joy of childbirth. I was a completely different person during my first episode, very challenging, suspicious and argumentative due to delusions. After unthinkable thoughts of self-harm I was sectioned for my own safety and confined in an asylum and other psychiatric units for six months, mainly without my son.

APP is committed to raising awareness of PP so that mums can be diagnosed as soon as possible and supported during recovery. PP mums are women of courage, each with a unique story to tell. It is sad that your daughter has been through so much and is apart from your grandchild. I haven't experienced such pain but can feel how heartbroken you are.

I hope you will be able to visit your daughter and perhaps engage the support of the local hospital and community to set up a network raising awareness of mental health so that your daughter's awful experience will not be repeated.

Take care.

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi help4her

I’m so sorry that your daughter, and yourself too, have been through such an awful time and that your daughter didn’t get the support she needed and is now separated from her child, it is heartbreaking to read. Your daughter sounds amazing to keep fighting and also to want to make things better for others.

As others have said, here at Action on Postpartum Psychosis we are based in the UK and we work really hard, with our amazing lived experience volunteers, to raise awareness with health professionals about pp as even here (which we hear has probably the best support and understanding for perinatal mental health) some professionals haven’t heard of pp, or have a lot of misconceptions about the illness.

In terms of mother and baby units these are funded in the UK by the NHS and MBU places are being increased here with additional funding. However in other countries I know it is much more difficult. I imagine you / your daughter need to find others in your country who want to improve things, ideally professionals and people with lived experience, who can raise awareness and try to change things. We do have some links with people in different countries so if you did want to private message me I may be able to give you details of other people or organisations in that country, if we know of anyone.

Do take care, thinking of you and your family

Ellie

[help4her in reply to Ellie_at_APP]

Thank you Ellie for taking the time to get back to me. I really appreciate your words of compassion and willingness to help in any way that you can. I am not sure how to private message you but you can send me your email to my email. Thank you once again. I am really glad to hear that Mom's over in the UK are getting the special care that they are so deserving of. I know that there are many strides being made by really special people. With Gratitude

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi help4her

It’s lovely to hear from you. I will send you an email in the next couple of days. Just to let you know I’ve deleted your email from the message as this is a public forum so we say no personal contact details to be posted on here, I hope you understand. I’ve made a note of your email though and will write to you.

Take care help4her

Ellie

[help4her in reply to Ellie_at_APP]

Thank you Ellie absolutely, Take Care