I am new to this I suffered PP in March this year after giving birth to my daughter, I was in hospital for a week with it and then luckily was sent home with medication and support of the crisis team and my family, I have been finding the journey difficult with my mood and motivation I have been suffering with depression after having a relapse, and not having a bond with my daughter I have been told this is rather common, has anyone else experienced this? Also struggling to get my brain to get into gear, thank you
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Acorn17
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I am so sorry to hear you suffered PP, it’s such a traumatic illness. In answer to your questions - yes! I can completely relate to all of them, and felt exactly the same when I was recovering from PP.
I suffered PP in 2015 during the birth of my daughter. I too relapsed, this was approx 3 months after the initial episode whilst coming off medication with the agreement of my psychiatrist. After this I developed quite severe PND, but slowly with medication, therapy, time and a lot of support from my family, I recovered.
I definitely really struggled to bond with my daughter, and in fact for a long time felt all my feelings were ‘numbed’. I think this was due to medication, processing everything and the depression - it was something that therapy really helped with. I know it is very difficult to believe but this will happen for you. Nearly two and a half years later I have a cheeky happy daughter who I have a beautiful relationship with, and wouldn’t change for the world - I would love to be able to go back and reassure the worried anxious new Mum that I was, that this would be fine.
Lack of motivation is so hard isn’t it? I struggled with this constantly and had to force myself to do everything - I found mornings were particularly difficult. I used to write myself a list of all the things I needed to do so that I didn’t have to think too much - ‘Get up, feed baby, change baby, dress baby, get washed, get dressed etc.... this did also help me realise that I was doing a lot, I just didn’t realise. Again this is incredibly common with depression.
You WILL get through this, time is a great healer - Be kind to yourself as you have been through so much. It is a huge adjustment having a baby, and to do this after suffering PP and having depression is incredibly difficult.
APP have brilliant resources on PP, I would recommend looking at them if you haven’t already.
Hullo Acorn .its hard to stay optimistic isn't it when you are tired and your whole body is readjusting after a new baby but it will get better . Good to hear you were discharged after only one week though which shows you must have been making progress . .it has been said that it helps greatly with bonding ( maybe family ?sister ? Mother? Can help you to stroke your baby softly and look at her little face as often as possible . .a doctor told me this releases endorphins and helps with bonding . With Pnd it's something mothers don't feel up to doing without encouragement and some help . Listening to nice music can help a little to lift your mood . Don't bottle up your feelings . So many women suffer this and there is nothing to feel ashamed of . At times I used to feel very inadequate but it passes ! There will be ups and downs but you'll make it !!Best of luck . Denise
I hope you found the shared experiences helpful. I can relate to you finding recovery difficult as I had a similar uphill struggle years ago.
During recovery from my second PP I was mainly treated at home as my first son was six. I had regular visits from the Psychiatrist, CPN and Health Visitor. I relapsed five months into recovery and was readmitted to mixed general psychiatric care. I also had what seemed like an endless depression which lasted for over a year.
As you are not long into recovery and relapsed I think it's important to take your time to come to terms with all that's happened. Try not to worry about bonding with your daughter at this early stage. As you say, it is common and not surprising after all you have been through. Your motherly instinct has been hidden but it will resurface as you slowly recover and build you confidence. I was hospitalised without my sons so it took me a while to bond with them but as I recovered I was able to interact more with them. Just to cradle them in my arms and have their smile of recognition was very emotional at the time.
So be good to yourself and take life in the slow lane for now until you're feeling stronger. There's a brilliant blog, PP Soup at ppsoup.com with shared experiences and info which you might find helpful.
We are all here to support you so please write again if we can help. In the meantime, take good care of yourself.
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