Almost relapsed

[Nini1989]

I had PPP in November 2016 after birth of my son and it was completely out of the blue. With enormous help of my family and professionalism of my psychiatrist, I went off medication very quickly (after 7 months). I rebuilt my self esteem and started enjoying happy life. I am about to resume my work in October. We went to southern Spain with my hubby. Intense sightseeing, sangria, arab baths..I did not want this trip to end. Eventually, I had a very scary experience( Sitting in the restaraunt after a very busy day, I was trying sangria and eating and then I noticed this(( my hands started acting on their own( this is not something that can be spotted by anyone else rather than me. It seems that I am acting naturally, taking a fork, touching my hair..but I know that these motions are not under my control. I had this symptom in early PPP stage and no one noticed it.. I was soo scared( i said to my hubby that this starts again( somehow after breathing and having a glass of water all the symptoms have gone. The next day I had this again( we had to find a doctor and tranquilizers to safely come back home( i cannot sleep during nights and I am so scared( I am scared of everything. My doctor said that I was too careless and high temperatures (40-42 с) with alcohol together with restoration of a menstrual cycle are the causes. He did not put me on meds, only on a very mild herbal ones. I will never ever drink again( and I will be more cautious( but my self esteem has suffered a lot and I am full of fears again(

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Nini1989

Thanks for your post. It sounds as though you had a very frightening experience on holiday. I think PP is such a traumatic illness and you have done so well in such a short time without medication. It must have been very frightening to recall that you had a similar experience in the early stage of PP. I'm glad you saw your GP when you returned home and hope you have been reassured.

For me, regaining my confidence and self esteem was a long process and I was unable to return to work for a while. Perhaps before you go back to work in October you could ask your GP to refer you for CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) to talk about your fears and give you coping strategies and also rebuild your self-esteem?

Try not to be so hard on yourself ..... you have come such a long way. Recovering from PP isn't easy and there can be ups and downs along the way but with good medical care and family support you will begin to find your place again.

Take good care of yourself .... PP mums are amazing

[Hidden]

I understand the fear of becoming ill again as I am going through the same thing at the moment. I had PPP which started two weeks after birth in January 2016. I wasn't hospitalised until March 2016 and was transferred from a general psychiatric ward to an MBU were I stayed for 6 months. I suffered badly after and eventually was given a treatment of ECT which did help me. I had hoped to be back at work by now but things are still difficult and I am still up and down. I suffered from depression and acute anxiety after my episode and am still being treated. You have done extremely well to have come off medication so early. I will probably not be going back to work this year and have had to accept that my recovery will be a slow one. I too have enjoyed holidays abroad and have had good weeks but the fear of becoming unwell again is always in the back of my mind. I suppose the reason for my reply is to reassure you that you are not on your own and support is out there. Keep going, keep talking and be reassured by the women on this site that there is life after PPP but everyone's recovery is different. Don't rush things! X x big hugs x x