Second baby - we can't agree!

[kcha]

Hi. I had PP almost five years ago which then developed into bipolar disorder. I have been well for 3 years. We have been trying to get pregnant for two years but no luck and have gone through fertility tests but nothing found. I have recently changed my mind about having another baby. I have started working again and I am so happy to be well. My daughter is also happy and healthy. The problem is my husband still wants another one and we can't agree on what to do. I feel that it's me that would have to go through it again so I get the final say but I don't want him to resent me in the future. Has anyone else experienced this? And the strange thing is he was so traumatised by what happened that he won't talk about it. Thanks xXxX

[Megannn]

Hi, I can't say I've experienced this, but I do agree with you about you having the final say, it is your body and you the one who went through the illness! If he doesn't want to talk about it, perhaps you could see a couples counsellor that could help him to communicate? Why does he want another one so badly?

[Iamfree247]

Hi there,hope you are okay.i went on to have another baby and had PP again but now my boys are 5 and 2 and I am really well.I would love another (crazy I know!) but hubby won't have another and I'm very grateful for my two boys.I would say seek advice ,know some folks here really recommend the second time opinion advice service. if you do decide to have another have a care plan in place to try and reduce the risks of PP ,I refused to take a higher dose of medication in the pregnancy even thou there were no long term risks for the baby and that could have reduced the risk of my having PP again.

I was also meant to go straight to a mother and baby unit and there were no beds and became very unwell at home (hubby very traumatised by dealing wit me at home)if I had my time again I would have gone to a mother and baby unit further away or a general ward as it's so severe for me when I was unwell and it was so unfair my hubby to deal with that.i hope you and your partner are able to chat honestly about the pros and cons.even though it was traumatic I feel I recovered better second time around and now have two healthy boys xxx