I'm Laura, 30 and from the United Kingdom.
My nightmare started 21 months ago, 2 days after I'd delivered my baby girl via c-section.
On this second day, I stood in the kitchen and screamed at the top of my voice. I felt intense rage, it was so overpowering.
Days and weeks passed by and I totally lost any connection with reality. I believed that me and the baby had died during childbirth and we were transported to an alternative universe. I believed the government was plotting to kill us all over again by planting viruses in my country.
I started hearing voices every night, down right terrifying. I started to talk to wallpaper on the walls and believed that the patterns on them were demonic forces trying to destroy me.
I would not let anybody touch the baby and never dared to go outside. When I did venture to the doctor, he wouldn't let me leave without an escort.
Many failed medication attempts were made and a plan was devised that I would go into a mother and baby unit, but of course I wouldn't go as I thought they were trying to kill me.
I felt powerful, like I had all of the knowledge about the government and their plots.
After a few failed sincise attempts, I was prescribed haloperidol. This helped for a while but it now no longer works for me and I had a relapse psychotic episode last week.
I'm tired of fighing this. I'm so lonely and scared and I can't see a way out of this black hole.