Financle concerns

[Bendia]

hello my wife was diagnosed with PP last Monday, she has been in the MBU for 11 days. Our baby daughter is being cared for by me. My wife is on on full maternity leave. I work freelance and do not recieve any paternity pay or financial help. My wife asked me to be with her 2 weeks before the due date so now i have not worked for 6 weeks (baby was born at 41 weeks). We have a mortgage and other financial commitments.

Is there any help for couples in this situation?

many thanks

B

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi B

Really sorry to hear about your wife. It is a really difficult situation to be in, emotionally of course but there is the practical, financial side too which is a huge worry. We were in the same situation, I was in the MBU for 3 months in total. We did rely on a lot of handouts from family I have to say, in terms of cost of travel as well to the MBU. I hope you are OK? You must be pretty overwhelmed and in the middle of it all.

Unfortunately I don't think there is any financial help, that I know of. Others may be able to point you in the direction of something...

Just for clarification, is the baby with your wife in the MBU now? With a MBU your baby should be able to be with your wife, and when she is unable to look after her the staff can take over, if you aren't there? In the MBU my son was with me all the time, and my partner would come and be with us whenever he could (when he wasn't working), but at least he knew that I, and our son, were safe and being looked after.

Please ask about anything else you need to, there are a few dad's on the forum who I'm sure can give you advice too.

Take care

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hello Bendia,

Firstly, please be reassured that your wife will recover from this. That's great she is in an MBU, I do hope she is starting to respond to treatment. (I had PP in 2012 and spent a month in an MBU.) Is your daughter with you at home or are you able to spend all your time at the MBU? My husband could only visit me between 4 and 8 so he was going to work in the mornings (the MBU staff were caring for our son until I was able to) and then was driving to the MBU for visiting and at weekends. He's not self-employed however so much different circumstances.

What a terrible worry for you. Do you have much in the way of support? Family / friends nearby who can help you out? There are lots of partners on the forum who I'm sure will offer some good advice.

I don't know if you've had a look at the APP website. I just had a quick look through the useful links and resources on there. There's a section dedicated to resources for partners - app-network.org/partners-2/ - it does have one link for financial help (Turn2Us under 'how to manage all my responsibilities'). Also I don't know if the Citizen's Advice Bureau might be able to help?

Sorry not to be more helpful. I'm sure others will have been in this situation though.

Wishing you all the very best. Do look after yourself and if you have any questions there's lots of support here for you.

[Sarah2015]

My husband found himself in a similar situation to yourself. What I'm about to say is brutal as I know how much I valued seeing my husband while I was in my MBU but try to organise for other family members and very very close friends to visit so that you can work.

I believe the idea of an MBU is that the baby is with their mother. I was so ill that I was transferred to another ward and my husband looked after our baby during that time. If your wife is still in the MBU I would discuss the benefits for your wife of your child staying in the MBU -even if the staff there are taking on the majority of the care role.

You will get through this and your wife is in the best place. In your situation I would also discuss flexibility with visiting Times for yourself (when you can work again).

[Nink]

Hi B,

Sorry to here about your wife. I'm glad you have found this website as I'm sure this site will be of great help during the difficult period. (This was a godsend for me and mine)

Do you have any health/mortgage insurance as sometimes these policies cover you for caring for your dependants.

Also it is worth checking with your mortgage provider regarding mortgage holiday. Payment holidays allow homeowners to stop their mortgage repayments for an agreed period, often between three and 12 months.

They are normally only permitted if you have been a customer for a set period of time (at least a year) and provided you have consistently met your repayment schedule on your mortgage. A Break may also only be possible if you have previously made overpayments, or if your equity is more than a certain amount - say 20 per cent.

Crucially, you need to remember that a break from paying monthly doesn’t mean a break from paying interest –that will continue to accumulate and will be added to your loan until it is repaid in full.

Also you might not be aware if this is your first child that you are intitled to child benefit. from what I remember you have to send off your babies birth certificate along with the claim form this can be down loaded on hmrc.gov.co.uk. You may also be intitled to working tax credits there will be info on the same website for this.

It is also worth looking at cancelling any none essential subscriptions like Sky TV ect.

Also check with your Gas and Electricity supplier if your able to reduce your monthly payments if you pay by DD.

My husband had to do a balancing act with our finances when I was in hospital. He was able sort out some of the things above. He also got an interest free (for 18 month) credit card with interest fee purchases made in the first 6 months. He used this to do the weekly food shopping on. Some of my family helped going through our paperwork and things. So if you any offers of help mybe this is somthing they can do.

When your wife does return home I think you would be able the claim carers allowance also.

The citizens advice can normally help with finincial advice as well.

Hope this can be of some help, Stay strong!

[Bluelady-sing]

Can either you or your wife get any other benefits?