Finding joy again

[Naomi_at_app]

I've been really inspired reading some of people's answers to atrautman's question about how we deal with the 'why has this happened to me'? questions that rear up after PP. There have been a few practical suggestions on how to record or celebrate moments to be thankful for. I wondered if others have ideas they might like to share on how they found ways to illuminate the positives in life and enjoy our children whilst recovering from PP

[Vbajic]

Hi, I think it's good to read others stories to realise that is happens a lot and people recover and also just thinking that the children won't really know what happened as they are so young so shouldnt effect anything, that keeps me happier and to get things in perspective. I think I enjoy my little boy a lot more and my family and friends

Lol xxx

[Naomi_at_app Volunteer in reply to Vbajic]

Thank you Vbajic - I think it's great that you have found you now enjoy your little boy a lot more, and value your family and friends. I think you are really right - going through difficult times together can make us value those relationships so much more in the longer term

Naomi x

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

How to illuminate the positives... during the worst of the depression for me it was just to never give up even though everything was a struggle. E.g. force myself to talk to my son, force myself to have a shower, force myself to talk... this was at the darkest time, and even forcing myself to do these things I couldn't see how it would get me out of the depression and couldn't see myself getting better, it was just me saying to myself 'I will not give up, I am keeping on fighting'. That was at my darkest and most difficult times, and it was really awful...

For me, being open about the PP, telling anyone who is interested who wants to listen, really helped me to not feel the shame and guilt, to feel proud of everything I fought through with it, and everything I achieved through recovery, and not to get stuck in shame and guilt.... I think this can potentially really stunt recovery if you feel shame. This is easier for me as I work in a caring profession for example, and generally people were empathic, sympathetic and also very interested in what I had to say about my experience, so I didn't have a negative experience of sharing my story.

In terms of enjoying children while in recovery. For me getting out of the house helped, seeing my son exploring the world as he got older, got me out of the cabin fever feeling! Now...trying to be as present as I can be to my son, play and chat with him at every opportunity, lots and lots of hugs (or "huggies" as he says!)

I also find looking at photos of him as a baby, growing up, quite therapeutic, especially if I look at them with my son. Though it was a lot of hard times I don't feel so much sadness looking at the photos. I see how beautiful he is, and I do talk to him quite a bit about when he was a baby, funny things he did, how beautiful he was...I think it helps me to remember the positive times of that first year, and to appreciate him more than I could at the time (if that makes sense!)

Anyway these are a few things that come to mind!