Well my question is should I have my tubes cut and soddered at my age? I'm 23 yrs old now and when I had my daughter in 2010, I was young,

Scared and depressed. I had ppp so bad that I thought I was a millionaire with a bunch of money, I went to a car dealership and insisted that I had enough money to buy a $46, 000 truck. Obviously I didn't though and then dealership staff called the police on me because I wouldn't leave the premises without "my truck". Police came to grt me and the whole time I thought it was just a joke. I was arrested because they thought I was on drugs because of the way I was acting. Long story short? I had about 6 or 7 ECT's to get my thinking back to normal and I couldn't be alone with my daughter for a year afterward. I know the best thing to do for myself and my family would be to not have anymore kids but I would like to have another kid. I just need advice on what I should do. This sucks

11 Replies

  • It wont necessarily happen again if you had another, I think the stats are 1 in 4 chance if youve had before. But I understand you're concerns, im in the same boat, pretty broody but really dont want to go through it all again, here if you want to chat

  • There are lots of people on here who have had more children. The important thing from what I've read is that you have a care plan in place and that you are getting support and guidance from mental health professionals and psychiatrists. You'll find a lot of previous posts about it. Am sure others will tell you more as I have no experience of it. I hope you can get the support you would need.

  • There are some strong people on here who have put care plans in place 'in case' it happens again and this has helped them. I didn't get it with my first but did with my second so I've decided to stop as it has taken 10 months so far for it to come right.


  • Hello there. I had severe pp with my first child but didn't with my second, and I think careful contingency planning really helped. For example, my husband slept on the maternity unit so I could sleep at night from when I have birth (he did the feeds). I started antipsychotic medication immediately after having my daughter which helped. When we went home we kept stimulus and visitors to a minimum to stop me getting over stimulated and I just "nested" with my daughter. Professionals can help so talk it through before being sterilised as you do have other courses of action. Best wishes Helen

  • I've just had my second child and agree with what others have said. A good plan in place definitely helps reduce the possibility or severity of pp. Sleep is something that you'll need to watch. I chose not to take meds straight away but picked up very early signs of mania in the first week so took meds then.

    It is definitely possible to go on to have more children you just need to be prepared.

  • Hi jhouck

    I can really identify with your question. I had PP with my first child, and similarly to Bronsyd I had early warning signs with our second baby and nipped it in tge bud with medication and a care plan drawn up during pregnancy.

    I had my second child after a five year gap. For me personally this gave me time to really process what had happened with our first. It also meant I had time with baby #2 when my daughter was at school.

    Taking the risk of a second pregnancy is such a personal decision and many of our members decided to have only one child. I wonder how your partner is feeling about it all? I know I am now considering permanent contraceptive options too as I feel it would be unfair to put my family through another pregnancy, but for both me and my husband there is a sense of loss and sadness.

    Hope it helps hearing from women who have gone through similar questions. Give yourself some time and we are here to chat whenener you need.


  • Hello jhouk,

    I agree that with a care plan and the medical support behind you, it is possible nowadays to hope for an easier second pregnancy.

    I was 23 when my first child was born and PP struck but this was decades ago and things have changed so much for the better. I was sectioned for my own safety and had ECT to bring me back to reality. Unfortunately PP hit again six years later with the birth of my second child. Again I had ECT.

    It was a big decision to have a second child, weighing up the pros and cons, especially the 'spaced out' feelings I had coming round from ECT. I think my family were disappointed to find I was fighting PP again. However, I did regain my dignity after a while and the hugs and happiness my children have given me over the years are priceless.

  • This is a really difficult question and one all of us have asked ourselves. Personally, I wouldn't, you don't know what the future will bring, even if your current partner doesn't want another child, he may change his mind in the future or you may get together with someone else who makes you really really want to be a mum again. What is your current partner's take on it?

    Is there any rush? Could you wait a little? As others said, with a good care plan in place, it is totally doable. I'm not sure if I want another baby, but I'd like to keep my options open. If I do, I'll probably do something similar to what Naomi did, wait for a 5 year gap. How are things with your daughter now? Like you I was separated from my baby and had to have supervised access for a long time. Not sure if that'll help in your situation but I feel like I missed out so much on early motherhood that whenever I feel broody and go awww when I see a cute baby, I just remind myself I ought to be a mum to the child I already have first and concentrate on that.

  • I just wanted to share with you my experience about this issue after having PP after my second child at 26. After the episode I felt very lost without a strong sense of who I was anymore, much less the independent person I had been and full of doubt so looking to others. My GP suggested quite strongly that I be sterilised. I know that I was lucky to have another child already but the idea of this made me feel more of a failure, less of a person, this was more than the idea of not having another child. My partner at that time then himself was giving consideration to a vasectomy. As it turns out we did not react and gave ourselves time. This was the right thing for me and for him as we later split up and he now has another child. I did get to a point in my life where the idea of another child became relevant again when I met my husband but decided for a whole range of reasons (not just PP) that this was not right for us. The important thing to me was that I always had the choice and did not respond to the trauma with a permanent solution that in my case would have made me feel 'done to' even more. I worry when I see you refer to sterilisation as having your tubes 'cut and soddered' about the pain behind your thinking. Perhaps the strategies of time and information are a good starting point.described by others as working for them so that subsequent pregnancies can be planned for and risk of relapse minimised. Good luck and take care.

  • Hi Jhouck1028,

    It is something I can identify with, after been so poorly with PP after my son was born 18 years ago I did think about having more children and it`s something I took a while to make a decision about. I knew there were risks if I had another child and kept thinking if I had PP again that I could not go through all that again. I eventually got some advice and found out about how high the chances would be of having PP again.

    Such a lot can be done now if you do decide to have more children. As mentioned in previous replies a care plan can be in place and with your history you would be carefully monitored. From my own experience the risks of me having PP again are increased as soon after having PP I was diagnosed with Bipolar. It was explained to me that after having an episode of illness related to childbirth (PP) and an episode unrelated to childbirth (Bipolar) it would be practically guaranteed I would become unwell again if I had another baby.

    The conclusion I came to is that I really count my blessings that I have my son, he is my little miracle, although not so little now! I am lucky to have him and it is so important to remain well. Your situation is differs from mine as you are very young and so much can be done when health professionals are aware of your history.

    I made the decision about 18 months ago to be sterilised. I must admit it wasn`t easy and I felt incredibly sad after the operation as it felt very final. Having said that it was the right thing to do for me. I still look at my son and can`t believe he`s mine even now he`s grown up. He has been a massive support to me and remaining well is in the fore front of my mind. In my case with the risks being almost 100 percent of having PP again I think my son would benefit more from me remaining well.

    I do think when considering your age and everything that can be done now it is certainly worth talking to a Perinatal Psychiatrist or expert about how high the risks are to you and the help available.

    Good luck,

    Sarah x

  • Hi Jhouck1028,

    Thanks for posting, so many of us here on the forum understand the concerns you have and the dilemma you are facing. I had PP in 2005 after my first child, I was also treated with ECT and the whole experience was horrific. With the right medication and care I made a good recovery. Three years later I decided to go for it again and I gave birth to my son in 2008. We planned carefully with my psychiatrist, midwife and my husband, friends and family were all ready to leap in to action to support me if PP came again. I made sure I got as much sleep as possible and had lots of help in the first few weeks, happy to say I had a great experience second time around with no problems at all and not a whiff of PP.

    You'll hear lots of thoughts and opinions here on the forum which is helpful, ultimately I guess you'll need to weigh up all the pluses and minuses and make your own decision. I do think having a lot of support in place is key, so that you feel you and your first child will be well looked after you get PP again. The optimist in me focused on the fact that PP is an illness that we all recover from eventually, so for me, the risk was worth taking but I was in a very fortunate position in the way I was cared for.

    I hope this has helped your thinking and let us know if there's anything else we can support you with.



You may also like...