Driving anxiety

Hi. Im wanting some tips on driving anxiety. I have my permit and I do get in the road sometimes but I have a hard time driving alone. I've been in 3 accidents 1 toiled my moms car. The other 2 were minor.

[GJRWS]

Hi I've had this ever since I started to learn to drive..I hate driving and every trip is a white knuckle ride. I don't take passengers and always walk if I can. I wrote our car off the first time I went out on my own and refused to get in again for years.

.then I got a job that included just local driving and had to .......but still relied on my husband to do longer more complicated trips until he died a couple of years ago.

I started to drive locally at first but always made sure I knew the way and which lanes to go in and how to avoid any roundabouts ( I find them very difficult to cope with) l also often practised thre route when the roads were quiet first. It gradually became less of a dread.

Then my husband was in hospital for 8 weeks in the city and I had to face motorway driving!!!! My son came over and worked out a route without roundabouts for me. He drove me to visit a couple of times pointing out difficult bits and landmarks so I really knew the way. Then I drove him a couple of times. After that I tried to travel at quieter times if I could but did manage to drive there everyday.

I then needed to learn the way to my daughters and my sons houses (each a couple of hours away and involving motorways)

I am proudest of the fact that last year I drove myself on holiday, a journey of 2 hours in a strange place. I did all the preparation I could to learn the route. Shook a bit , white knuckles. I got in the wrong lane a few times but just went with the traffic flow, pulled over, perhaps had a coffee at a cafe to calm down and re plan on my maps where I was and got there and back very safely!!!

Preparation and time ( both before and during the journey ) were the keys to building my confidence. I don't use sat navigation as it makes me panic, just post its with places and road numbers and instructions. I also don't drive in the dark as I feel I can't judge speed as well as I should then.... and of course I avoid roundabouts if I can , sometimes coming off at the first exit and turning round several times!!! I even got a speed ticket for the first time..it is now framed as everybody is so incredulous.

No I've accepted I will never be a very confident driver but as long as I ensure I am as safe as possible I can do it.

Good luck and safe driving.

[Miniwheats]

Hi Hidden. I totalled a car once too. After that I refused to be the driver in a car for almost a year and everyone was really accommodating (big mistake on their part). One day my dad said "You're driving today this is ridiculous!" It didn't take long before I felt like my old self again behind the wheel. Your accidents - I'm sure it's not the two minor ones that are bothering you it's that big one. Is there anything you learned from that accident? Something you can do differently from now on? For example, my accident taught me to drive within my own comfort limits and never to let someone else in the car pressure me into doing something I feel is too risky no matter how much they're clamouring (I was pressured by an authority figure into overtaking a tractor trailer while not wearing my contact lenses for distance, because we were going to be "late". Needless to say we ended up being very, very late...). Next time this same person had the nerve to pressure me into making a left turn out of a plaza onto a 6 lane road less than 20 meters from an intersection and I held my ground..."Now you have a chance! Go! Oh my god what are you waiting for you could have gone!!" Once I made the turn according to my own timing and judgement I calmly put her in her place. She still does it to this day but I don't listen. So when you think back on your big accident, was there an error in judgement that you learned from? If the accident was a result of someone else's driving error or if it was just a result of being in the wrong place at the wrong time then there is really nothing left for you to do but just better manage your relationship with risk and build your confidence back up by driving more often. Bad things will happen in life or they may not, and you can't control it all. You do however have to be able to drive yourself to where you need to go, this is important. So what kind of strategies can you use to bring anxiety down until you get your confidence back? Have you tried listening to music? How about humming or singing as you drive? You can't sing and be anxious at the same time. This actually worked beautifully for me when I was having panic attacks and was scared I might have one while driving. I sang all the way to work and back for 3-4 days and then I didn't feel the need to anymore. Anyway the point is when you get into the car don't let the past in with you. The past is over and done with and just like with company shares in the stock market, the past doesn't predict future performance🙂