Ive suffered with this for years and years, it comes and goes, usually comes when i just dont need it. I sometimes feel thats its an evil force invading, trying to control me, my life. Ive had meds im on them now, I have had cbt that helped, group therapy was also helpful.
Ive worked, hard, ive had time off, Im not working now. When i am working im usually good at what i do. Then the anxiety symptoms come back and bang, i fall to pieces, mistakes, reprimands and when i leave that job, and be honest why because of my "anxiety and depression" people dont believe it. Im in that horrible dark tunnel again, im going back to the doctors tomorrow and see if i can have CBT again. At the minute its 2.15 am insomnia. I know lack of sleep makes its worse but my minds going round and round. What am i meant to learn from a life like this. Why do i get sudden invading thoughts and anxiety. Im not here writing to ask these questions of anyone im just here to get it off my chest. So no-one has to comment.
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And friend of mine said this and under it is my response~~
FRIEND--- first day really in a few weeks that the anxiety has been somewhat bad, well it's more strange thoughts going on in my head than physical symptoms, asking Google weird questions about the universe isn't helping but I can't help it. You know those questions that can't possibly be answered correctly.
Like · · Follow post · 11 hours ago near Irishtown, Dublin
ME------ Those questions are not weird, they are just an intelligent, inquiring mind doing what its should, just turbocharged by nerves! ive lived much of the past 19 years with an internal philosophical dilagoe, which often is very abstract but hey its sometimes the observation of this life which is most fun!
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