Just a little tip

[tinks2003]

I am having bereavement counselling and wellbeing counselling but fiind most of the time I cannot say anything and just sit there and cry.

Before I went to my last bereavement session I decided to write everything down and give her the bit of paper. That way at least she knew how I was feeling.

I don't feel lonely, I do feel suicidal because I know that whilst my husband is not here I will never be able to accept him not walking back through that door. Sounds really stupid doesn't it. I feel like a child hiding behind my hands and hoping nobody can see me.

[Hidden]

Hello tinks

My OH has just buried her dad on Friday and her mum bless her is in pieces. She said the same, knowing he will not walk in the door again, remembering all his little ways. Not hearing his laugh again. She has a big family but it's not the same is it. She said she could have all the kids there and still feel so alone.

I hope you find peace tinks. Try not to think about suicide, you wouldn't want your family feeling how you do now, I'm sure. Thinking of you xxxx Cookie xxxx

[Hidden]

Hold on tight love. Crying is just the first part of the grieving process for some people, part of the journey you are on, and although it is very exhausting is will eventually hurt a little less. The pain will never go away, but you will be able to bear it one day. Stick with the counselling, they see all different reactions, and it's completely normal to feel the way you do, and they will be patient and will be there ready to listen when you are eventually able to talk. You are still at a very vulnerable stage, but keep writing messages here and remember you are not alone.

[tinks2003]

I don't particularly get on with my family, they are all quite grounded and selfish. They say stupid things to me so I don't bother contacting them.

Whilst my husband had kids we didn't have any together so it was just the two of us against the world. The house feels so empty, just like me. I see quite a bit of his brother and he is coming up today to help with some jobs but to be honest I just want to go back to bed and do nothing.

It has been just over four months and every day is harder than the last.

My last bout of 'illness' was when he was in Iraq (he was in the TA) but he came home. The time before that was 1992 just before I met my husband.

My life went with my husband.