if two people love each other, is every pain worth suffering?

[scarlet283]

i’m in a relationship. it has been almost 2 years. but we’re different in the sense that i’m too sensitive. i notice too much. i care too much. i love too much. and i keep giving. but my significant other is not like that. i’ve almost always cried and asked him for more love care and i’ve to tell him all the time what to do for me how to treat me. i’ve to ask for it and teach him how to be my boyfriend. i don’t know if i should keep trying to mend it because we both love each other. or if i should let it go or i don’t know what.

[Hidden]

Love is not enough for a long term relationship. In the “dating” stage... it is a time to get to know each other. Normally people are on their best behavior and often let down their effort after they feel the other person has been “ hooked”. So if he isnt meeting your emotional needs now and is a resistent learner.... now is the time to realize he is not the one. Doesnt mean you dont love him. The right person will see your need and try and meet it . I like that you tried to teach him what you need. He just isnt motivated to change or he cant, either way, he isnt the guy you want to be with forever.

[Bobatea]

When you love someone, everything's good, it's easy to extend the love. But when they do the same thing over and over again. When you have to teach, over and over again, will you run out of patience? Will you get tired of all the coaching?

Another way to think about this is, if two people love each other, should you be constantly living in pain? This isn't to say there aren't hardships and times of growth, but I think there's a fine line of growing and compatibility. You can love someone, but it doesn't always mean that they're the best person for you. Does he bring out the best in you? That was my "ah ha" moment.

Can this kind relationship be substained? yes, if you are patient and if he is willing to be coached. But will it be easy, I'm sure that's part of the reason why you're asking this question.

There is no right or wrong answer, per say. More so, it's a matter of your preference. Are you ok with a relationship where you have to teach someone to love you? This is not to say that there's no relationship where you don't have to teach someone to love you but the amount of teaching can vary from person to person.

This may potentially be the person you spend the rest of your life with-that's a long time. Make sure it's a good fit to your personality and you're caring, compassionate heart. It deserves to be taken cared of and some will be better than others. It's a tough decision, all the best my friend.

[Nothing_but_books]

Hi Scarlet283,

When you said you are too sensitive (me too), I wanted to offer you a link to help:

eggshelltherapy.com/

This is just for you, whether this guy works out or not. It is difficult living in a world of thick-skinned people while you vibrate like a tuning fork. I get it, and this therapist does too. She has also written a book about eggshell therapy.

Take care.

[scarlet283 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

thank you, i’ll check it