Suffering with Anxiety

[jmf3483]

Hello all! I have been suffering with anxiety for the past 17 years. Recently, I have had what I call a "spell". Which is a period of extreme anxiety and worry that I can't seem to shake. I know a lot of it had to do with my issues of control and uncertainty and I just started a new relationship. I am at the point where I am constantly struggling to get through each day. Any tip or suggestions for when the anxiety rises and I cant seem to get it under control?

[Gardengirl18]

Hi there,

I hear you. I find that magnesium salts help with my anxiety. You can get an oil spray too but I find a bath is a more calming way to help. Other than that I'm still looking for ways to help with anxiety too on a more immediate in that moment of anxiety coping mechanism. Thought I'd share what helps for me in case its something you haven't tried yet. I hope your new relationship can stand strong despite this and your partner can be supportive and understanding during this. Lots of love xx

[Agora1]

Hi jmf3483 and Welcome to the Anxiety Forum. You are absolutely correct in that we feel we need to be in control of our lives/situations. When it starts slipping through our fingers, we get anxious and start to worry. That is when the "what ifs" surface and the cycle of fear takes hold.

We don't like surprises or uncertainty. We seem to want to know how the ending will turn out so that we can relax and enjoy ourselves. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. Life is about learning through our experiences. We learn through our failures as well as our successes. We can't always have control and so we must learn to accept what life throws our way. We can only control how we accept the things in life.

Step One if you haven't already read Dr. Claire Weekes book, please get a copy of "Hope and Help for your Nerves". A great book on Acceptance being the key to anxiety. It is the foundation that will help you build other methods in getting you through difficult times.

Continue coming on the forum and feel comfortable in exchanging your thoughts and problems on a safe site. We are never judged for what we may say or think. You will learn that you are never alone. Stay Positive. xx

[jmf3483 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you! I think although it is a hard pill to swallow "pun intended" I have accepted my anxiety it is now a matter of how to control/limit it. Im unsure of how to break myself out of the negative thoughts and what ifs. I wake up every morning with a pit in my stomach about how can I get through this day and how challenging it will be to constantly keep my anxiety at bay. Any helpful suggestions for the morning?

[Agora1 in reply to jmf3483]

jmf, You are half right in saying you have accepted your anxiety. Yes we know it's there but we can't control it. We can limit it, lower the responses, but we can only control how we react to the symptoms, the gnawing feeling inside us.

Negative thoughts and what ifs will put us in harms way each time. It sends up a red flag that trouble is brewing when it's not. This red flag short circuits are rational thoughts and before long the adrenaline goes wild. Learning how to break out of negative thinking is a process. It didn't happen overnight and so it won't go away at the drop of a hat.

Waking up each morning with that dreadful "pit in your stomach" feeling is just the heightened levels of cortisol which start quite early each morning. In preparation to fight or flight from the early days of the caveman. We hardly have to do anything close to that now a days with Smart Houses, Appliances, Lights and phones. The adrenaline is wanting us to move our muscles and because we don't, it shows up as this feeling in the pit of the stomach (actually the solar plexus) which is the seat of our emotions.

It's not harmful but annoying and sometimes scary to the person experiencing this for the first time. I don't want to short circuit your brain right now by telling you do much. A little at a time we do. You will still get to your goal which is the light at the end of the tunnel xx

[jmf3483 in reply to Agora1]

I guess what concerns me are my patterns of anxiety. I dont have anxiety all the time but every once and awhile Ill have a panic attack and it takes a day or so to reset and dismiss the lingering fear. But then there are times (prob 6 in the last 17 years) where I have this sudden onset of extreme panic that lasts for weeks. I cant shake it, I panic, I get depressed, I feel like there is no hope to recover, I just want to sleep to get relief, and that's what I am going through right now.

I just don't feel like I understand whats happening to me and I dont have a good guide or therapist to see regularly so I am researching things myself. I feel hopeless and lost.

[Agora1 in reply to jmf3483]

That's not uncommon for some to experience sudden extreme panic that tends to take hold for a while. After all we are predisposed to anxiety from birth. It's always a good idea when these episodes take hold that you rule out any physical cause. Seeing your medical doctor to rule out thyroid, any deficiencies is a good step to take while you are looking for a therapist.

Sleeping to get relief is a sign of depression in itself which you may need medication for. A psychiatrist would be the best judge of that. If it's a chemical imbalance no amount of meditation and mindfulness are going to help restore the chemicals needed.

Researching things on your own is good as long as you get into reliable sites. No Google... The more we learn about our issues the better we can address them. xx

[jmf3483 in reply to Agora1]

I recognized the sleeping coping mechanism as a sign of depression early on when this started 17 years ago. It was just the only way to get relief. I try to avoid this as much as possible when I am in a spell. I usually try to re-direct my thoughts, take a walk, listen to calming sounds, breath deeply, meditate, or text a friend.

[Aspergirl47]

Hey jmf3483...I am going through the same cycle of extreme panic feelings each morning ...its so frightening...the minute I open my eyes I have loads of negative thoughts and extreme fear....I have had this current episode for 4yrs before as you described it would be the odd panic attack...but this is my second high anxiety episode...I try desperately to tell myself I'm being ridiculous and almost laugh at it.....but usually I will need to just get up and walk over to put on a relaxation cd ...lie down and really focus on the voice...it eventually calms me and I then try to create a routine for that day...I even write it out on a pad what I'm going to be doing and try to stick to it....taking a walk if u can is always a good idea...especially in a local park or countryside....being in nature can be so calming...I love taking photos....I really hope this helps as I totally understand....feels like the episode will never end....Best Wishes